Missing Heart
by MotherHeninFlorida
Summary: Post season 9 as life and crime continue to happen in the Big City. In this episode the life is Adam's and the crime is a heinous one that the team struggles to solve as the monster strikes again and again. Warning: The very occasional curse word but no F-bombs. One of the main characters in this story was created by me, all other characters belong to the CSI franchise.
1. Chapter 1

**Note:** This is my first attempt at fanfic, normally I write original stories but I re-watched all nine seasons of the CSI: New York series and my imagination wouldn't shut down. This is the result. Thank you for spending your valuable time reading. Comments are welcome and appreciated.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

A young woman with a long, thick brunette braid and bright green eyes carrying a laundry basket barreled down the hallway. She was always moving fast, almost in self-defense as if she was trying to outrun what life was going to throw at her next. Normally it wasn't a problem as everyone in NYC tended to move fast but this time she nearly ran into the back of a man standing immobile blocking her path. Emerald O'Ryan recognized the man in her way and though her throat closed for a moment she made herself relax and joke in a cheerful voice, "Adam? Yo, Adam. Earth to Adam … slow traffic should stay to the right."

Adam turned painfully and blinked at her but appeared to have trouble focusing.

The young woman dropped the basket – thankfully not spilling the contents though she wouldn't have cared if she had – and cried, "Oh my God Adam … what happened?!"

Slowly he answered, "Uh … I … I think I lost my keys. Or they have them. I can't remember. I'm pretty sure they have my phone. For evidence. I kinda remember someone telling me that. Dunno for sure about the keys though. My iPod is at the office. That I do know."

The answer was typical Adam, more information than you'd asked for but still somehow leaving the original question unanswered. Still, it was obvious that something had happened but whether it was work-related or something else wasn't. What was also obvious was the beating written on Adam's face in numerous cuts and bruises. Anxiously she asked, "Where's Michelle?"

"I … I don't wanna … talk … about her."

Emerald … Emi to her few friends of which she named Adam one of the best she'd ever had … realized something was wrong … very, very wrong. In a gentle voice that was threaded with a barely discernable Irish lilt she said, "Come along Adam. Let me help you clean up."

"This is so wrong," he said, shaking his head. Another out of context statement accompanied by a brief resistance to the hand she'd put on his arm before allowing the petite woman to pull him towards the door to her apartment, a few doors down from his own.

Trying to understand what was going on Emi asked, "What's so wrong?"

"This."

When Adam stopped and ran both bloodied and bruised knuckled hands roughly through his unruly hair in angry confusion Emi determined to remain calm though it wasn't easy. Carefully she asked, "Which this? Me? I'm just a friend helping a friend and that's not wrong." She gently pulled and he allowed himself to begin walking once again.

"No. Dammit Emi, I screwed up. I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry. And now it is all screwed up and all I can do is stand here like a fool and be sorry about it. Which is useless. Just like me. I know it is useless but I can't stop being sorry because I am." Then abruptly Adam stopped talking so fast Emi heard his teeth clack together. He also started grinding his teeth which was something he did only rarely and only when he was extremely stressed out.

Emi opened her apartment door with the keys she had clipped to the belt loop of her nearly too loose jeans. She'd never regained the weight she'd lost and couldn't seem to dig up the desire or inclination to replace the parts of her wardrobe that needed it. As she pushed the laundry basket through the door with her foot she continued to pull Adam along though he was only barely cooperating, on the other hand neither was he resisting very hard. "First, you're not a fool Adam Ross and unless you want me to light into you about it you'll stop calling yourself that. It's not at all healthy. Second you already said you're sorry even though you have nothing to be sorry for. I mean assuming you are talking about what I think you're referring to. As for what is screwed up, that you'll have to explain a bit more for me to understand. Now come along and sit. You're too tall for me to reach this way."

"Why do you even want to? Why should you want to?! I …"

"Adam," Emi put her hand on his chest when he seemed to finally understand where he was and tried to leave. "I don't know what has happened but you look like you've been brawling, and not the kind you get into at Uncle Haw's gym … looks more like something that would happen at the bar next door. And you never brawl. Well, almost never. You can't help if you're part Irish. Normally you have more commonsense. Unless your Irish falls out and then all bets are off. But that's just being a man in general and an Irish man in particular. So whatever you were brawling about has obviously upset you because you aren't the type to brawl for the fun of it. Now sit and even if you don't want to tell me, at least let me clean you up." The casual observer would note that Emi shared some of the same problems as Adam … when they were nervous or upset they tended to ramble with non sequiturs, run on sentences, and broken phrases littering their conversation. It was one of the first things that had made them friends; it was like an inside joke they shared that annoyed others but which they could see the humor of … at least when it was with each other.

Adam didn't want to share a joke right then, inside or not, so kept the words piling up in his brain behind his teeth. He tried to not even let what he was thinking show in his eyes but it left him looking feverish and on the edge of a break down. Finally he allowed Emi to guide him into a vintage aluminum chair with a cracked vinyl seat that had seen better days that was pushed under a matching two person table, all of which looked like they had been scavenged from an old diner remodel. In point of fact Adam knew that is exactly what it was since he had been with Emi when she found them in the scrap dumpster and helped her to drag them out and bring them home when she needed to downsize her furnishings. The fact barely flitted across his consciousness but it still managed to cause him pain. He wanted to say I'm sorry again but refused to let the words out knowing they were useless.

Emi was worried. In the nearly three years she'd known him she'd seen Adam in many extremes of mood; from so happy and energetic that he reminded her of the hysterically funny puppy she'd had as a young child before moving to NYC; to the less pleasant facets of upset, nervousness, and painful shyness. A few months ago she'd seen him furiously angry and that time he'd come close to frightening her. She'd seen him speechless only a few times but normally due to surprise or awe at something wonderfully unexpected … like their first kiss. But she'd never seen him like this.

She opened a bottom cabinet in the miniscule kitchen of her efficiency apartment and took out a first aid kit even Adam's co-worker Sheldon Hawkes would have thought well of. Setting it down on the table she opened it and used its contents to gently clean the cuts and abrasions on Adam's face. It was obvious he – or at least someone – had already tried to clean some blood away but it had only been a cursory effort at best.

Adam barely registered what Emi was doing. Or perhaps it is more correct to say that Adam was ignoring what she was doing. He'd learned early in life to ignore physical discomforts and pain. But the other pain he was feeling, that was impossible to ignore no matter how hard he tried and it felt like it was eating his soul. He felt like a fool. He was a fool. Yet here she was treating him like … like … like she used to. Like nothing bad had ever happened. Like he hadn't made the choice to break her heart. The knowing of that giving him more pain than he has from all the cuts and bruising combined. But feeling her broken heart meant he didn't have to feel his own quite so much.

Trying to avoid gazing at the fragile looking woman standing closer to him than she had been in almost three months Adam's eyes roamed the nearly closet sized space she lived in. It was crowded but Adam knew that it had been the only place available at the time that let her keep her security deposit. She hadn't been able to stomach the idea of staying in the other apartment. Not after …

Then his eyes found two pictures in frames set side-by-side near the day bed that also doubled as the unit's sofa. One was of a young man with a face even more sensitive than his own and the other was of a young child, a girl, holding a stuffed rabbit. Adam winced.

"Is it sore?"

It took a moment for Adam to form an answer because he couldn't decide whether she was referring to the cut she'd been cleaning with antiseptic, or his heart. He answered about both by saying, "Yeah."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Emi chided herself silently and then told Adam, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'll try and be more careful."

Adam knew he should say something … anything … to let her know it wasn't her fault but he couldn't. To try and explain would reveal just how big a fool he was, how wasted it had all been, and he wasn't ready for that. Not yet. Not while pictures of Gary and Reni stared at him accusingly from across the small room.

What Adam didn't realize is that Emi had decided that whatever was wrong with him took precedent over what had happened between them in the past. Adam had been there for her during some of the darkest moments of her life and she'd been there for him when he and Michelle had broken up and he'd been so devastated. So what if she'd just been a rebound for him. A temporary fix. A placeholder. That didn't matter because she'd seen how he'd struggle with the aftermath of Michelle wanting him back and then finding out she was pregnant. And then the confusion of trying to figure out how he felt about it all and deal with his new responsibilities.

"Adam, I know … um … you said you didn't want to talk about Michelle but … is she hurt? Or … is it the baby?" It was the only thing she could think of that would tear him up like this.

Adam wrenched away Emi, stood up and started toward the door, only able to think about leaving, escaping. He wasn't ready for her to know. Didn't want anyone to know except because of what happened today some already knew. He just couldn't stand her knowing because somehow her knowing would make it worse than it already was.

"Adam!" Emi cried, moving quickly to prevent him from escaping. "In case you've forgotten, I'm only half Irish. You'll remember the other half is Creole. Do not make me go Creole on you. Neither one of us will like it. I'll probably feel as bad as you will by the time I'm finished … well almost probably or maybe even worse."

"Emi … this … I can't …"

Emi stood in front of him, hands on hips, one foot tapping. When Adam made to brush her aside a small but very pointed growl escaped her lips and surprised him so much he looked down and blinked owlishly. "Did … did you just …?"

"Yep. I've also been known to bite as well so get your brawlin' butt in that chair and don't move until I'm finished with you." The faint Irish lilt was now threaded through with the summer heat and humidity of Louisiana.

"Uh …"

"I mean it Adam. If you don't want to talk to me then fine though you know good and well I'll always be on your side no matter what it is. But you are going to let me take care of you otherwise I swear I'll … I'll …" Then lighting on the one thing she knew Adam wasn't proof against she said, "Or I'll cry."

"What?!"

"You heard me. And the longer you fight me the worse I'll cry. You fight me too far and you are going to wind up with a braying, snotty nosed woman on your hands, howling loud enough to bring all the neighbors running, and not just the ones on this floor either."

Emi had been backing Adam up – thanks mostly to the fact that she'd stunned him with her threat – and when the back of his knees hit the chair she reached out with one dainty foot and swept his out from under him leaving him no choice but to sit or fall down.

Adam winced at the impact of landing and jarring what was already sore which made Emi wince but only for a second before she got a mulish look on her face that Adam knew meant she wasn't kidding and wasn't giving up. It was either acquiesce or suffer the consequences. He'd known she was capable of it. He'd watched her have to use the same resolute intent with Gary; but the thought of being like Gary, the thought that she might think he was like Gary, made Adam's stomach churn worse than it already was. And then it happened and he accepted the inevitable.

Sighing he muttered in an annoyed voice, "I am woman. Hear me roar."

"You're not a woman, you're all pig-headed man. And I said howl, not roar."

Both of them jumped, neither having expected the brief exchange to actually come out of their mouths though they'd had similar brief dust ups throughout their friendship. Surprisingly Adam was one of the few people that stood up to Emi, which was something she recognized she needed to remind her to not simply steamroll over people even if she thought it was for their own good. As a result Emi gave Adam a lot of respect which is something he didn't get enough of. Emi blushed and looked guiltily at Adam from the corner of eye. Adam's mouth hung open for a full five seconds before he closed it and allowed the corners to turn up slightly in humor. When his shoulders started shaking with what she thought was suppressed laughter she stepped closer to make sure the butterfly bandage on his cheek would stay where she put it. Only Adam reached out and roughly pulled her closer yet and hid his face against her stomach.

Any smile that she'd thought to have aborted before its birth as Emi realized Adam wasn't chuckling but was trying not to do his own bit of howling. Only once before had she'd seen him close to this state and it had involved his father. Not knowing what else to do Emi held him to her and ran her hands through his hair and across his shoulders, patting his back when she felt him shudder. This kind of pain couldn't be stopped, it could only be endured. Whatever it was Emi knew she was strong enough that Adam could use her for this and they'd both survive it. She actually felt pride that he was venting whatever it was with her even if he wasn't quite doing it willingly. Emi was the kind of person that needed to be needed. Desperately needed it as some kind of justification for her continued existence on this planet. She'd inherited that from both her parents. Not for the first time she thought that it was a blessing that they'd died together with the twins and Michael; they wouldn't have survived the loss the way she'd had to. They would have been immeasurably and inconsolably alone without each other, unable to go on without whatever it was in the other that completed them. But Emi was a half measure of both of her parents, and that allowed her to live even though there had been days that she hadn't wanted to.

Slowly, silently, Adam finally got himself under control but was too shamed to turn Emi loose like he knew he should. God how he'd missed this; her total acceptance of who he was warts and all. Not even Michelle had done that though she'd tried, especially in the early days, before his job had gotten in the way.

"Come along Adam, you need to rest. Let me look now and see what else needs doing so that you can have a lie down. Well … a shower first then a lie down." Unintentionally she mimicked her mother's gentle but thicker Irish accent.

Adam, ready to show his own bit of mulishness, managed despite his emotional struggle to say, "No."

Taking his refusal in stride Emi shrugged. "No? You sure? Well, maybe a cup of chamomile tea would be better. When is the last time you've eaten? I baked some cookies last night if you want some."

A muffled sigh from Adam that she could feel as well as hear was followed by, "I know. I smelled them. I almost … but … she'd just left. And I couldn't. I wanted to but I … it was too soon. I didn't know how."

Ignoring some of the tale that was slowly unfolding Emi said, "Tea it is then. You can dunk your cookies in the tea to soften them. That should be easier on your mouth. You'll have both the hot and the sweet and lose this shocky appearance. Your forehead is too cool and clammy for my comfort. Honestly I'm going to twist the tail of whoever did this to you. Brawlin' is one thing but it's like they chose their targets to be especially mean on purpose."

"They did. A couple of perps came back to a scene to clean up the mess they'd left behind, not realizing our team was already there processing. They knocked out the cop that was with us then they jumped me. I knew I'd eventually do down but I was able to hold them off long enough that Lindsey could get in the car and lock up with the evidence we'd already collected."

From previous conversations and a brief meeting at an office party Emi knew he was referring to a woman he worked with. "Lindsey is back from maternity leave?"

Adam leaned back from her and said almost normally, "Yeah. It was her first day in the field. Danny was freaking out good by the time he got to the warehouse. Mac was the only one that stood between him and the Hanson Brothers."

"Uh …?"

"The perps."

"Oh. But Lindsey is ok?"

"Yeah. Doc wants her to take a day off but she's ok. Danny might need stitches though."

"So … uh … Danny got in on the action with the Hanson Brothers?"

"No. Lindsey threatened to hit him in the head with her case if he didn't notch back the Italian."

"Oh. Well yeah, I can see that happening. I only met him the once but he seems … yeah … anyway I Hope for his sake that Danny backs off. Head stitches aren't fun."

"It's the whole father thing," Adam said and then he just seemed to collapse in on himself again.

Alarmed at the sudden change Emi searched Adam's face and watched as grief etched its inevitable presence there. Still unable to look her in the eyes he stared at the picture of Reni on the table beside her father. Trying to keep his anger at bay, knowing none of it was her fault, in a voice that sounded like broken glass he told her, "The baby isn't mine. That month she moved in with her sister …"

When he stuttered to a stop Emi nodded though she knew she wasn't going to like the explanation that was coming. "When you nearly got shot and fell down that flight of stairs and busted a rib. She decided she couldn't deal with your fieldwork as a CSI; she was afraid of what could happen, what she'd be left with … or without … if something happened to you."

"Yeah. Then. Her old boyfriend came around that first week, telling her he still had feelings for her, and that he was sorry they'd broken up, that he wanted another chance. She says she was conflicted but agreed to have a few drinks. A few turned into more than a few for both of them … and then into what sometimes happens when you have a few too many whether you meant to or not. Next morning they both regretted what they'd done and agreed that both of them needed more space to figure things out. She put it from her mind, thinking it was over and done with. A … a non-event since … er … there was evidence they'd used protection. She said that she just wasn't thinking straight and didn't want a new problem before she'd dealt with the old one. Then … you know the rest from what she told me. She found out she was pregnant. She claims she never even considered that the baby couldn't be mine. Until yesterday. We … we went to the doctor … together. She had that test done. Because some of her bloodwork came back weird. She was scared about the results so I went with her. I tried to tell her it didn't matter one way or the other; t was in it no matter what but she started freaking out. Because …"

Trying to hide the cynicism in her voice Emi said, "Because she didn't want a child like Reni."

Embarrassed though he had no reason to be Adam nodded. "Yeah. Like Reni. Or like the health problems her niece is developing. But the baby is ok and she was happy about it – we both were and I'm still happy about that part of it but then the rest of it happened. The doctor lays it on the line and I find out I'm not the father."

"Oh Adam," she whispers, knowing he'd thrown himself into the whole father thing to prove, if nothing else that he wasn't going to repeat his own parental unit's mistakes. Had even admitted guiltily to her that he'd started to love the baby for its own sake. Adam had worried that he'd hurt her by the admission but to Emi that was her vindication for continuing to believe that Adam was one of the good guys of the world.

Adam shuddered and once again ran his hands roughly through his hair in reaction to the deeply caring expression that had settled deeply onto Emi's face. "Don't. Please God don't. I'm barely hanging on here."

Emi stilled the denial and hurt on his behalf that wanted to pour from her tongue and instead reached out and gently pulled him back against her. "Whatever you're feeling Adam, I'm here for you, for as long as you need me to be."

From the safe haven she was offering him he asked, "How can you be? How?! God, I was such a prick."

Louisiana was back in her voice just that fast. "Language Adam Dear, there's a lady present … or at least a woman trying to act like a lady. Give me reason not to be a lady and I'll have to go hunt me up a few people, stake them out, and skin them proper. And that'll only make more work for your office."

The arms around her became almost unbearably tight and then Adam's whole body seemed to relax before he pulled back from her and said, "Tea sounds good."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Not much more than an hour later Adam was thoroughly bandaged, fed, showered, and asleep on her day bed. She'd fetched him clean clothes from his unit using the spare key she still kept for him even after Michelle had returned. She did it without asking after realizing he didn't want to go back into the apartment in case she was still boxing things up. No one had been in the apartment at the time though the place was a mess where it appeared that most of the baby things they had collected had already been moved as well as some of Michelle's personal belongings. Beyond a few naked hangers on the rod, their shared closet only held Adam's things in it, mostly in a messy pile on the floor piled over his shoes.

Emi knew the feeling of not wanting to go home, of memories being too big and painful to face. Adam is the one that had been there for her those nights (before he and Michelle had moved in together, before there had been more than friendship between them) and ultimately it's how things got a little out of control and progressed so quickly when she'd had the opportunity to return the favor after Michelle had left him. Emi acknowledged that the end of that brief fling – more than platonic yet far less than it might have turned into – had hurt but she also understood Adam hadn't set out to hurt her and that he'd been at least as confused and hurt as she herself had been when Michelle came back. But there had been a baby brought into existence through no fault of its own and that small life deserved to be Adam's priority. Basically it was what it was and she determined she wasn't going to allow the unlooked for ending to spoil the good parts that had happened. Nor would she allow it to prevent her friendship with Adam though it did change things, especially on his end.

Adam had never confessed to Michelle though he'd threatened to, in some way trying to deal with his guilt over what had happened. In hindsight Emi was even gladder that he hadn't. She had a feeling that it would have been used by Michelle to rationalize how "conflicted" she was feeling and ultimately been used to hurt Adam and make him feel guilty despite the fact they were all adults and responsible for what happened. Maybe not everyone would see it like that but Emi certainly did.

If Emi's greatest weakness was needing to be needed almost to the exclusion of everything else including good sense and self-preservation, then her greatest strength was being able to find the good, no matter how small, in all the bad she'd experienced in life and be satisfied with it. Her father had once explained to her that while she got her stamina from her Irish side, it was from the Creole side that she got her fortitude and perseverance; and, that it was up to her to use both sides of her personality wisely and to be sparing with their application so she didn't inadvertently cripple those she loved just to continue being needed. She had learned the first part easily enough but the second she still struggled with, no less so despite having had to learn the lesson oh so painfully multiple times over the last few years.

Emi's Da had worked on oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico until he'd been injured on the job. He was still recovering when his mother found she had breast cancer, something she had thought she conquered many years earlier when her Da had been small. Gram opted for no treatment and declared quality was more important to her than quantity. No sooner had they gotten over the shock of her loss than her maternal uncle had called and told his sister that their mother had had a stroke and had been left frail and unable to perform her daily living skills enough to live alone. While her mother dithered about what to do, Emi's father had declared that since he could no longer work on the derricks that one place was as good as another and that they would simply pick up and move to NYC so that Emi's mother could care for her Irish gran and allow her some dignity. Da was a big believer in dignity … dignity and the importance of family … especially after the life lesson his own mother had just imparted.

Emi's older brother Michael had quickly fallen in with the boys his age in Gran's solid middle class neighborhood … and lucky for him the boys grew genuinely fond of him as well. Her younger siblings – the adorkable duo known to everyone as Marty and Mary the Creole Clowns – fit in with the preschool set as well as Michael had with the older boys. It was Emi that no one quite knew what to do with.

Emi was … different. She wasn't happy unless she was busy. But it didn't have to be a physical busy-ness. She could be just as happy being perfectly still so long as her brain was adequately busy … at least most of the time. Her parents had known she would be different almost from birth. She rarely slept more than an hour at a time, remained on the low end of the growth chart, was relentless when she wanted something … and creative enough to get it for herself when necessary. She was lifting her head up briefly and trying to look around curiously before she left the hospital; she also crawled early and learned to escape from any type of confinement before she even knew how to walk. Finding a car seat she couldn't wriggle out of had been a nightmare challenge since not only did she display the ingenuity of Houdini, she was also completely fearless. She walked early, surprising everyone by taking her first, toddling steps before she was quite seven months old … she'd been after her Gran's Chihuahua much to the poor thing's terror that she was no longer restricted to crawling. And when she started talking everyone bemoaned the fact she hadn't been born with an off switch, or at least with a pause button.

Her parents had her tested multiple times and though she had traits of several conditions, not enough markers in any specific one to give her a diagnosis. Not even the catchall of the "autism spectrum" truly reflected what she was. Then she became old enough to have her IQ tested and her parents realized she'd never be able to survive in a normal school setting … or as her Da once said, no normal school would be able to survive her. When she was nineteen she consented to another battery of tests and her adult IQ was measured at 187 but the results didn't mean any more to her then than it had when she was a child. She'd learned that being "smart" did not always equate with having friends, being happy, or even being employed.

For lack of a better word to describe it, Emi had a series of tutors. The school district created and oversaw her basic educational plan but it was up to her parents to see she met all of the educational and behavioral benchmarks that were set for her at her quarterly testing. Her father, himself having been educated in a nontraditional setting, started taking her to his job where he worked in an import/export warehouse. She met numerous interesting people that, after getting over the shock of a little girl speaking like an adult, seemed to enjoy taking the time to answer her questions and tell them a bit about themselves and their own businesses in the process. The fact that Emi seemed to grasp what they were telling her and asked intelligent questions when she didn't only charmed them more and made them freer with their attention.

Her parents also encouraged her to spend a great deal of time talking to the older people that lived in their neighborhood; she especially enjoyed her gran's friends with their tales of old NYC, tales of how things used to be. She'd enjoyed the attention sure, but more she thrived on being asked to run errands and do little chores. Emi hated busywork and stubbornly refused to do it most of the time; however, the quickest and easiest way to keep Emi out of trouble was to give her something constructive to do. Constructive she understood. Constructive had a beginning and an ending … and a reason for needing to be done. To her busywork was just plain stupid and she wasn't afraid to tell someone that.

There were only two non-negotiable events in Emi's routine. First was church which she sometimes found both a chore and a bore. It wasn't church itself as the moral code and life lessons she learned there mirrored what was already enforced at home; it was being forced to sit still and be quiet whether she was in the mood for it or not that sometimes got her into trouble. The second non-negotiable was far more enjoyable and that was her monthly Daddy/Daughter dates. Her parents had started the tradition after the birth of the twins when their pediatrician suggested that for developmental purposes they make sure that each twin got one-on-one individual attention away from the other. Her Da had liked that notion so well that he started doing it with all of his children. Michael's treat was usually sports-related … or as he entered high school it became cars. The twins, still being young, enjoyed a visit to a park or being taken for a special treat at a local deli or market. Once again however Emi was different.

Her Da would take Emi to unusual places or to meet unusual people, anything high-interest to catch her attention long enough they could talk about it and try and he could teach her the social skills necessary to survive in a world that didn't know quite what to make of her and even less what to do with her. One time he took her to a homeless shelter to help serve food. Another time they went on a tour of NYC's underground and learned its history. Sometimes they simply picked a direction and walked until they found something that struck their fancy. On one particularly memorable day, he took her to a funeral parlor and the cemetery beside their church after she'd become fascinated by death and what came after it to the point she was creeping everyone out. The information she'd received that day had finally sufficed and Emi transferred her often times exaggerated focus onto the next subject, much to everyone's relief.

For her twelfth birthday her father took her to a fancy restaurant and congratulated her on growing up. Emi nearly died of preteen embarrassment when she realized her mother must have ratted her out about finally starting her monthlies. Her Da on the other hand had used it as an opportunity to try and impart more mature wisdom. She remembered it had been that time he'd told her about being careful how she applied the traits she'd been born with, how it was her responsibility and privilege to decide whether she was going wield them as gifts or as weapons, and how to tell the difference between the two.

It was a mere three weeks later that Emi's life as she knew it came to an end. Two days after her birthday her Gran had had another stroke, this one fatal. Then came the wake and the funeral. What the police were only beginning to put together was that a gang of thieves was reading the obituaries and using what they found there to choose their next job. What the gang hadn't realized was that Emi's gran hadn't lived alone like the obit had inferred and that the house wasn't empty, Emi's family had lived there as well.

For the first time the gang's home invasion turned violent as they panicked. The only member of her family that had survived had been Emi, and only because Michael had tossed her out her bedroom window and told her to run to the neighbor's house for help before running to his father's aid. Emi was hysterical for days after that. And when she finally stopped being hysterical she became nearly catatonic. The few remaining family members, already devastated by the shocking and painful loss of so many of their own under such horrible circumstances, were simply not equipped to meet her needs. Emi became a ward of the state and she was placed in a special children's home.

Even though she couldn't live with them, her uncle loved her and came to visit her regularly … until he too died, of injuries sustained when a taxi jumped the curb and barreled into the newsstand he'd been delivering papers to. From that point forward Emi experienced a whole new level of loneliness. Her only relief from it was the heavy academic load her various case workers insisted she maintain and the two friends she finally made. Gary and Felicia.

These thoughts weren't exactly running through her head as she gathered up Adam's sour, sweat-soaked clothing and quietly left the apartment to take them to the laundry, they were simply part of her existence … part of who she was and why she was where she was in life.

She walked passed two men going down the hall without really paying attention to them – a bad habit of poor situational awareness that Adam had only been partially successful in breaking her from – that is until they knocked on Adam's apartment door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Both men stood staring at the door, obviously impatient that after knocking three times there was still no response. One of the men sighed then stated the obvious. "No one is answering."

The other groaned dramatically and said, "Oh man. Lindsey is going to have my head."

"Lindsey is going to have all of our heads. She even snapped at Mac. Jo wasn't exactly happy either."

Like he'd been inconvenienced on purpose the bristly, tightly-wound member of the duo complained, "I can't believe he just left like that. What was he thinking?"

The first man shook his head and with compassion evident said, "For the moment I'm more concerned with where he is. He's in no condition to be wandering around on his own."

Sticking her head around the corner and finally figuring out why the voices were vaguely familiar Emi was just in time to see that from his expression Sheldon Hawkes wasn't just talking about Adam's physical condition.

Danny rolled his eyes and said, "Naw, he'll be ok. Adam ..." But he stopped with an arrested look on his face and turned to bang on Adam's apartment door even harder. "Yo! Adam. Open up man."

Emi sighed and shook her head in annoyance. She stepped forward, walking passed her own door and reached out and tapped Hawkes on the shoulder. "Quiet before you wake him up."

Both men turned and after a moment vaguely recognized the young woman Adam had brought to one of their casual after work gatherings several months ago. While Danny Messer gave her the same scrutiny he usually gave evidence under a microscope; Sheldon Hawkes took a different tact. He smiled kindly and said, "You're Adam's … um … friend named … er …"

Holding the laundry basket on one hip and placing her fist on the other she answered with only slightly less annoyance than she'd felt a moment before, "The name you are fishing for is Emerald … Emerald O'Ryan. And yes, I'm Adam's … um … friend. What do you two want?"

Danny's eyebrows shot up wondering what they'd done to the small woman before them to warrant the amount of attitude she was throwing their way. Deciding this woman was a curiosity he was willing to ignore he asked, "Look … you seen Adam?"

"If you are asking have I seen a man beaten to the point of needing to see the inside of an emergency room – though obviously not been taken care of by anyone. A man in no condition to have been driving … DRIVING … himself home AFTER taking a taxi back to the garage where his car was parked. A man that only made a wee bit of sense for nearly twenty minutes until I could pour some tea and cookies in him … and only a bit more sense after that …"

Danny coughed into his fist. "So you've seen him."

"Seen him, cared for him, and put him to bed so he can sleep the worst of this mess off. And if you so much as walk hard and wake him up you do not even want to know the …"

Startling all three a tired voice behind them said, "'S ok Emi. I rolled over and you weren't there so I'm awake. Uh … why do you have my clothes?"

Emi tapped her foot and said, "Because they stink and smell of I'm not sure I even want to know what. And they have blood and other … biologicals … all over them. I'm taking them to the machines for a wash." She mumbled something to the effect she doubt they'd even come clean even if she beat them with a rock before adding, "Since I can see by your face you are bound and determined to break your health by refusing to go back to bed, you might as well feed these two the rest of the cookies so I can make a fresh batch tonight with a clear conscience."

She turned a glared on the two men like it was their fault Adam wasn't asleep and told them, "Don't upset him."

Both men swallowed and tried to not let her see they thought of her – not as the tigress she was trying to be – but as the fuzzed up kitten she appeared to be. "Sure … sure … no problem," Danny said quickly moving towards Adam so she wouldn't catch the look on his face. His wife was a small woman and he was well aware that size did not dictate ability to do damage if they were so inclined.

Emi turned, her heavy braid whipping around and hitting Adam's door with a thump that echoed the previous knocks upon it. After she had turned down towards the stairwell that led to the building's laundry room – Hawke's making sure she wasn't lurking – the two men followed Adam into Emi's apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Wow," Danny said looking around. "Small place. What're you doing here when you two could go to yours and …"

Adam reacted poorly to what he thought was implied. Danny took two steps back – not easy as the three men nearly filled the apartment – and said, "Whoa … I didn't mean anything. I was just saying."

Adam calmed himself with difficulty and looking away mumbled, "Don't. Just … don't. It's not like that."

Danny looked at Hawkes, both men thinking how unusual it was for Adam to react the way he just did. Hawkes slid into his professional bedside manner and said, "I think I remember now. She had a special needs daughter that died and her husband isn't around anymore either."

"Yeah," Adam mumbled. Then he asked, "Why are you here?"

Danny snorted, "What are you? Crazy? You walked out of the emergency room and didn't tell anyone where you were going. And you're not answering your phone."

"I can't answer my phone, it's in evidence."

"That's beside the point. No one knew where you were. And you worried Lindsey who is refusing to do what the doc told her until you get looked at."

"Sorry," Adam said with a sigh knowing he said that a lot, too much. "Just needed to … to …"

Danny slid into his big brother mode and said, "You took a pounding man. Look at you. Come on … let us take you back, get you seen and bandaged up, get the women off our backs."

Adam shook his head. "Emi took care of it. I didn't ask her but she's … she's kinda … uh … used to getting her way in stuff like that."

Danny wiped his nose to hide a grin and said, "She is huh?"

Hawkes asked, "Is she a nurse?"

"Uh uh … forensic artist." The answer caught both men unaware. Adam almost grinned. Most people were caught off guard when they found out what Emi's career was. "She freelances mostly. She gets the weirdest stuff in the mail. I opened a door in her old unit and she had a partially rebuilt skeleton hanging on a curtain rod. She'd replaced the missing bones temporarily with PVC pipe and conduit and other stuff … looked like a cyborg prototype."

Danny immediately said, "You mean she's got skeletons in her closet."

Without missing a beat Adam said a quiet, "Bah-dump-bah."

Hawkes grinned cautiously at their high jinks and said, "You sound better."

At that observation Adam slid into the chair he'd vacated when Emi had demanded he go take a shower. "Not better … just … just trying to handle it better. How … how mad is Mac? I know I made a mess but I tried to make sure they didn't hurt Lindsey or get the evidence."

Danny crossed his arms over his chest and said, "Yeah, Mac's pissed … we all are … but not at you. But this isn't about the case … this is about whether you are ok. So what do I tell Linds?"

Hawkes added, "And Jo."

Danny nodded, "Yeah, and Jo. She almost came herself and would have if she hadn't been giving IAB the run around."

Adam stood back up, unable to remain sitting if the other two men wouldn't. "Tell Jo not to bother. They were already after me at the emergency room. It is part of the reason why I had to get out of there. Tell Lindsey not to worry, I'm … it just is what it is. Eat a cookie before Emi gets bent," he added changing the subject. He pointed to a cookie jar shaped like an apple then said, "Mac is already bent."

"Nah," Danny said. "He just don't like getting caught by surprise. And … it's a big deal."

"Not for anyone else," Adam said shortly. "And no one else needs to …"

Hawkes put his hand on Adam's shoulder, "Take it easy Adam. We're your friends. We aren't mad at you or disappointed or anything even remotely like that. We just feel bad for you. How long have you known?"

"Yesterday afternoon."

"Yesterday?!"

Danny looked confused. "Then how did IAB get ahold of it so fast?"

Adam shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"It might. Did you tell anyone?"

Adam shook his head and rubbing around his left eye that happened to be the worse of the two black eyes he was now sporting. "No. I was trying to figure out how to tell Mac first and I was hoping he'd tell everyone else. I haven't even explained it all to Emi … she just … she just sees me and starts …" Adam shook his head again.

Adam still refused to look at them and the beaten look – both figurative and literal – and how he was holding himself was really starting to worry both Danny and Hawkes. They'd seen Adam be defensive or embarrassed or nervous … but the way he was currently behaving went way beyond that.

"Tell Mac I'm … I'm sorry. I was trying not to let … stuff … get in the way of me doing my job. It's all I got now. I was following Lindsey's lead. I was being careful, staying focused. I even left my iPod at the office. But when those guys came at us … and Lindsey screamed …" Adam shrugged defeated.

"Hey man … don't even. You kept my wife safe and none of the evidence in the car was compromised. Not even IAB can say dick about that. As for the rest … you took on two guys, both experienced street fighters, to give your partner time to call for back up. End of story. As soon as Mac got the whole enchilada he went looking for you and got concerned that you'd taken off and no one knew where you were. Give him a call. He ain't happy but like we said, it ain't at you. Got it?"

Adam sighed and nodded. "Hawkes?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you want me to go back to the emergency room. I can see you're waiting to bring it up again. But really, Emi took care of it. She knows what she's doing."

"Because of her daughter?"

"Naw, Reni was pretty easy to take care of except for the last couple of weeks when she got sick and started having seizures. It was her … uh … it was Gary. He was a messed up shit and was constantly getting himself into situations he couldn't handle. She was always patching him up for one reason or another." Adam saw his tone had shocked both men. "Yeah … that's the truth just don't say anything to Emi. She knows what he was but … she's big on what she calls allowing people some dignity; even for people that do everything not to deserve it and waste what's offered. There's more to it but … just don't … ask questions or whatever. She's still torn up over what he did."

"He leave her after their baby died?"

"No. The day before they were going to bury Reni Gary walks into the funeral home where Emi's signing some papers and paying for things – 'cause of course Gary claimed he couldn't deal since he was grieving his little girl being dead … like Emi didn't already get the concept or something. Well he does wind up showing up but when he does he says some stupid stuff that tore her up bad, and no matter how she tries to talk him and get him calmed down he blows his brains out all over her and the cop the funeral director had called as soon as he saw the gun. And get this … Emi was in the middle of her own mess and still had to help the ME boys clean up things because they sent a new guy that had never dealt with a messy suicide."

Danny adjusts his glasses and says, "Damn."

"Yeah. Which is why she lives in this tiny place instead of the apartment she shared with them. Memories."

Hawkes added, "And why you are here instead of your apartment. Memories."

Adam shrugged again. "I guess. Mostly I just don't want to run into Michelle. She's moving her crap and the baby stuff out and I'm not up for the drama that could happen. Look guys, I … I …"

Emi took that moment to open her door and spotting the look on Adam's face she glares at his guests letting them know in no uncertain terms that it is time for them to beat feet. They get the message though she softens enough that when Adam gave her a beseeching look asking that she not openly challenge them she sent them on their way with a bag of cookies to share between them.


	6. Chapter 6

**I want to personally thank everyone that has read and is writing or will write a review. Especially smuffly who was the first. The time you take to read is much appreciated.** **Chapter 6**

"Relax Montana, Adam is as fixed up as he's letting himself be," Danny Messer said, trying to calm his still upset wife in hopes that she'd let him take her home sooner rather than later.

Lindsey looks incredulously at Hawkes and asks, "And you just left him there too?!"

"Danny's right. I looked Adam over as much as I could without setting him off and he got the right kind of attention … just not from a doctor."

That's when Jo looks up from the computer she'd been taping on. "Actually he did get attention from a doctor … just not the kind he would have seen at the hospital."

All eyes, including Mac Taylor's turn in her direction. "I finally put two and two together. Emerald Faucheaux O'Ryan, Ph.D., one of the youngest to receive a doctorate in forensic science from Syracuse University. She was barely 20 when they finally awarded it to her though she'd had everything she needed by the time she was 18. They simply considered her too young until one of her mentors pushed the issue with the Chair of the department."

Mac scratched his chin and asked, "Where have I heard that name before?"

"It says here that she was the one that reconstructed the eight skulls and found evidence for three more from that bag of bone shards found in Josef Turcell's basement."

Hawkes jumped as if stung. "I remember that case, it was in Pennsylvania wasn't it? Turcell lured women using social media, raped them then continued to hold them captive for a few more days before putting them into his own torture device that basically diced them up causing them to die of shock and blood loss, all while he filmed them. There were several papers written analyzing the techniques she used as her findings firmed up the prosecutions otherwise very shaky case."

Mac nodded and added, "That's right. They closed the trial to the public due to the graphic nature of the evidence, not to mention there had been numerous credible death threats against Turcell." The others in the room slowly started to remember the few details that had been released to the media. "The talk around the watercooler was that she was an ace in the hole for the defense and everyone expected them to use her age against her on the stand; however the opposite happened. She basically annihilated every one of the defense's arguments with explanations so simple one of the jurors later acknowledged that it made all the difference in whether they'd been able to give a unanimous vote to convict because some inconsistencies in the timeline that hadn't been addressed had several thinking there was sufficient doubt to acquit. She was only 21 at the time. Which would mean she is what? Twenty-four years old now? Twenty-five at most?" Frowning Mac asked, "Who does she work for these days?"

Hawkes answered, "Adam said she does freelance. Probably needed to in order to take care of her daughter. I saw a picture of the little girl in the apartment and she definitely had some kind of developmental and skeletal issues. I think I remember Adam saying she was six years old when she died."

Jo had continued reading information as it popped up on her screen. "The little girl … Renita O'Ryan … was diagnosed with Sotos Syndrome shortly after birth. The syndrome is non-life threatening but apparently she developed a rare complication from measles when her vaccination failed and … as we know she passed away from it."

Lindsey shook her head and said, "That would have made Emerald what? Eighteen or nineteen when her baby was born? How on earth did she manage to give birth and still complete her masters and then doctoral degree – in forensics of all things – at the same time?!"

Jo answered with a frown, "She didn't. She's not the biological mother." Everyone waited as Jo squinted in confusion at the screen before shaking her head and leaning back. "There's definitely a story there but most of the details have been kept from the public eye."

Lindsey said, "I wonder if Adam knows."

Danny rolled his eyes and said, "Bet on it. His reaction when he thought I was … well never mind. It just was weird and really … well it was weird."

Mac knew at least some of the reason why Adam had reacted the way he had but it was due to a private conversation and unless or until Adam released him from confidentiality he wasn't going to share what he knew. Instead he said, "They've been friends for a while from what I understand."

"You remember her from the party?"

Mac hedged by saying, "I spoke with her but I had no idea who she was at the time beyond a friend of Adam's. And we're going to leave it like that unless either one gives us reason not to." Everyone got the message so Mac went to the next item on the meeting's agenda.

Uncomfortable but determined Mac began to confirm what he'd been told. "Danny, you and Hawkes said that Adam just found out … about the baby not being his … yesterday. And you're sure he said he hadn't spoken about it to anyone else?"

"Yeah. He said he was trying to figure out how to tell you and hoping you would tell everyone else … probably so he could hide in the lab and wouldn't have to."

Mac nodded thoughtfully before saying, "Then the question remains how did IAB know about it and why were they using it against Adam? It doesn't make sense."

Lindsey grimaced. "We could all tell something was wrong with Adam when he came back from lunch yesterday. I was going to say something but then the results came back on the Duval case and I had to prep those materials to take to Flack."

Everyone else said much the same thing, they'd noticed Adam was acting off but they'd all been distracted from asking him what it was about and by the time they'd gotten back around to it he'd left for the day. In hindsight it was as if Adam arranged for most of the distractions himself. "And then the Hanson case came in early and Adam seemed so … so focused. To be honest I was just grateful because I'd been worried he was going to be jittery and I was tired because Luke kept us up half the night. I should have taken the time," Lindsey said in regret.

"We'll deal with should have dones later. IAB backed off when they saw Adam put the evidence before everything but his partner but they were pushing hard for some reason."

Hawkes asked, "Question is whether it is about the case itself, about the department, or about Adam personally. Or maybe it's just coincidence. It would make more sense, given their actions, for it to be about the case or department but then again … how did they know about Adam's situation so quickly when none of us did?"

That's when Lindsey and Jo glanced at each other and they suddenly had a very good idea how it might have happened. There was little else to add or discuss, all of them being sensitive to Adam finding out they were gossiping about his painful private life, and Mac had said that for now all they could do was keep their ears to the ground. As they filed out of the situation room Jo casually asked, "Lindsey, do you have a moment?"

Just as nonchalant she said, "Sure." She turned to Danny and said, "Grab my coat? I'll be as quick as possible."

Danny rolled his eyes but left willingly enough to go grab their coats while Lindsey followed Jo into their shared office space and closed the door behind her. They looked at each other and at the same time said, "Kendall Novak."

Lindsey nodded. "Bet on it. When Adam got serious with Michelle and stopped feeding into her need to compete about every little thing she got a little … uh …"

"Testy?" Jo asked sarcastically.

"Pretty much," Lindsey agreed. "It was funny to watch at first but she's gotten mean … and Danny says lately even Mac is starting to notice."

"He's noticed for a while," Jo revealed. "He was just hoping the situation would resolve itself before he had to get involved. He can't afford to show favoritism and Adam really needs to stand up for himself more. Technically he outranks Kendall though she acts like it is the other way around."

"If she isn't sucking up she acts like she outranks everyone but Mac. As for Adam … trust me, he is so much better than he used to be … isn't nearly as easily rattled though he still can get very discombobulated if you get passed his defenses. You know how he is."

"I do indeed. I'm afraid I make him nervous no matter that's not my intent. I've tried everything but it seems the harder I try the more nervous I make him."

"Stella used to do the same thing to him though eventually he was more protective of her than intimidated by her. I think it is the whole authority thing." They both nodded, understanding without saying it aloud that Adam's past as an abused child left marks on his psyche that may never fully heal. "But there's still the question of how Kendall would have found out."

Jo shook her head. "I know for a fact she isn't above listening in on conversations that are none of her business. I caught her flat out gossiping about a poor review someone on the nightshift had gotten and I'd only just finished telling Mac about my recommendations. Only way she could have known – assuming it wasn't just a fantastic guess on her part – was if she'd been listening to us talking. And I still don't know how she did it."

Lindsey let Jo in on a secret. "Kendall reads lips."

"Excuse me?"

"Adam told me … geez I guess it was last year; she reads lips. I thought he was joking at first but it's true. I've seen her do it. And don't look now but she's been glancing this way."

Jo gave an evil grin and said, "Good. I hope she can read this." At which point Jo gave a very detailed explanation of what was going to happen if she caught Kendall "listening in" on any other conversations she wasn't meant to be privy to.

Kendall suddenly got up from her work station and hurried off towards the ladies room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Adam made the requested call to Mac using Emi's phone. He was able to avoid the conversation Mac obviously wanted to have but did find out he was to take the next couple of days off as paid medical leave … and that was an order. Well his couple of days of reprieve were over and he'd driven to work though without his usual enthusiasm.

Adam stopped the elevator twice between floors on his way up trying to control the panic that wanted to engulf him at the idea of facing the other lab rats, his co-workers … his friends. Sympathy he could handle in small doses but the pity he thought he would see on everyone's face felt like it would be too much to endure. Refusing to give himself the out of stopping for a third time he braced himself and got off on his floor and tried to avoid everyone by heading straight for the lab at a near run. Unfortunately for him it was early but apparently not early enough.

Mac had been waiting for his arrival and called him over, "Adam?"

Straightening his spine, Adam tried to ignore how getting called to Mac's office always made him feel like he had when he'd been sent to the principal's office when someone yet again noticed "suspicious bruising" and felt they had to "do something." He hated that feeling.

Mac said, "Have a seat Adam."

Adam knew that wasn't good, now he couldn't make a quick escape.

"Adam …" Then Mac sighed and shook his head. "Aw hell, I don't know what to say. Asking if you're ok likely feels just as absurd as it did to me when people asked me that after I got shot."

Bowing to the inevitable Adam said, "I'll … I'll live. I wasn't so sure I would but … yeah … I woke up this morning and realized I'll live."

"Living is good."

"If you say so."

Debating with himself but feeling he had to ask Mac said, "Can you … explain it to me?"

Sighing because he didn't really want to do this, though he acknowledged he'd have to eventually anyway. Deciding it might as well be now, he drew a painful breath and answered, "I'm not the father, there's not much more to it than that. If I had been the father she would have found a way to put up me for the baby's sake, make the best of it, at least for a while, until she couldn't anymore but she would have still tried really hard until that point … at least out of some sense of obligation to the kid, or so she explained. But since I'm not she said she can't live the rest of her life conflicted and wondering if she was doing the right thing. She has needs I can't meet because of my job … and that the baby deserves to know its real father and that can't happen while we are together because it would conflict her even more."

The brutal matter-of-factness of his answer brought Mac up short. He'd expected more outward sign of emotion … maybe a few tears because Adam usually carried his feelings on his sleeve for the world to see. The way Adam was acting made Mac realize that while the man in front of him was obviously hurt, he was also angry … very angry. It wasn't an emotion he was used to associating with Adam. "Is … there anything I can do?"

For the first time in days Adam focused on something besides a point about ten feet behind whoever he was speaking to or who was speaking to him. He saw Mac honestly wanted to help, was honestly worried about him. Adam paused and then said quietly, "I don't think there is anything anyone can do. It is what it is."

"Do you need help moving … stuff out or in?"

"My apartment you mean?" At Mac's nod he answered, "No. Michelle's father and brother came over yesterday with her and got the last of what she wanted. They were nice at first but she kept crying and they needed to blame something or someone and started looking for a fight and instead got …"

Mac was surprised to see a very small smile light on Adam's face. "They got what?"

Adam snorted, "A face full of Irish with a dash of Creole mixed in."

"Ah, your … friend … Emerald I take it. She certainly made an impression on Danny and Hawkes."

Adam scrubbed his face, finding it hard not to smile despite feeling so utterly miserable. The two diametrically opposing emotions briefly warred but it was the misery that won out so he didn't explain quite as humorously as he might have under different circumstances. "Emerald can be a firecracker … the kind that will blow your hand off if you don't let it go once you've lit the fuse. Once she got involved all I had to do was stand there and say nothing. She even made them sign some papers about what they were taking … like an inventory in hindsight. She completely ignored Michelle … like she didn't even exist … which was kind of weird to watch and it threw all three of them off stride. Michelle was used to Emi making things easy and expected to get boatloads of sympathy I guess. Instead she got nothing. So no fight and it's all done. Michelle is gone and rather than talking with me directly she sent a letter stating that while she was oh so very sorry, she really didn't want to be contacted by me again. That we both needed to deal with reality and move on. That she was under a lot of stress and pressure and her doctor said it could adversely affect the baby. That she was sure that I didn't want anything to happen because of something I did. It was even notarized in the law office where her aunt works."

That answered Mac's next question. "That sounds … pretty final."

"It is."

"And for you?"

"I'm picking up the pieces and … and …"

"And?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure I want to do anything."

"It will take time."

"It will take more than time. Uh Mac … I gotta stop talking about it. I need to work."

Mac nodded, understanding better than probably any of the others would. "Fine. There's certainly a backlog that needs to be taken care of. Kendall Novak left work the other day, apparently very ill, and has called in sick every day since."

"Did she call in sick today?"

"I haven't heard."

Adam shuddered but rather than saying anything stood up and turned to go to the lab and get his work day started.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Crime scene tape fluttered in the breeze where it was tied off on various park features that surrounded the prone body of a female. The body had been tented over to give the victim some dignity after death that the death itself had tried to strip away. Preliminary perusal couldn't confirm COD but did reveal she had been displayed so she'd be found as soon as the sun came up. Preliminary perusal also revealed she was missing her face and most of the bone beneath it on one side. The hair was still intact but the eyes had been obliterated. So had the victim's prints though that would be up to Sid to determine by what agent. Sid's examination would also reveal she was missing her heart.

Don Flack stalked the perimeter of the crime scene taking statements from anyone that stood still long enough for him to catch. He also caught a few as they tried to leave the scene without giving a statement. Jo Danville and Danny Messer silently marked and gathered evidence, the usual team banter missing for the time being. Jo straightened up with a sigh, having a bad feeling about the case though there was no discernable reason beyond its graphic nature for the heebies she was getting. She'd seen worse in her career, far worse though this was pretty gruesome; but something about the calculated positioning of the body bothered her. It hadn't just been done to showcase the violence to the face, but the implied obscenity of the remainder of the body. "Let's wrap it up so the ME can take the body and the Lookie Lous will disperse."

"I hear ya. The scene is contaminated enough as it is. Has anyone located the primary crime scene yet?" Danny asked referring to the problem of all of the blood that should have been but wasn't.

"No," Jo responded with a frown. "All of the evidence here is localized immediately around and on the body though undoubtedly some of that is also compromised."

"Too many tracks around to say if any of them belong to the killer. No way any belonged to the victim, she's practically bone dry inside. Question is did she bleed out after she was tortured or during it."

"Sid will have to weigh in on that one." Jo started packing up her kit and looked over at Danny.

He caught the look and asked, "What's on your mind?"

"Have you seen Adam?"

"Seen him but haven't talked to him. Linds said to give him some space, that when he was ready he'd reach out."

"Normally I would agree with her but with Adam …"

"Yeah. I gotcha. But trying to talk to Adam before he is ready to talk only means he'll want to talk even less and you get even more noise and less sense than usual."

"Does he do it on purpose?" Jo had been curious for some time if it was a defensive mechanism that Adam employed intentionally or perhaps subconsciously.

"Adam? You kidding me? Adam is about as transparent as they come. He just gets nervous. And then starts talking. And can't seem to stop. I had a cousin like that."

"Had, not have?"

"Had. He managed to fix the problem."

"How?"

"He got married and now his wife does all his talking for him."

Jo rolled her eyes and tried not to smile. She'd walked into that one face first. "Ha ha. I hope Lindsey beats you."

"Every Saturday night whether I need it or not."

Jo shook her head wondering how on earth Lindsey put up with Danny. A little machismo and kidding around was never a bad thing but too much was just too much. They were about to head back to the lab when Jo's phone buzzed and she saw it was Mac. "Hi Mac, we were just …"

 _"_ _There's another one. Body's condition is nearly identical to the one at your scene. And with all the blood at the other location Hawkes said it may very well be there are more than two victims."_

"Hawkes?" Jo's tone caused Danny's eyes to swivel in her direction with curiosity.

 _"_ _Yeah. Hawkes and Adam are already there but I want you to take Danny and meet up with them and see if there is any obvious connections between your victim and their scene beyond the similarities between the conditions of the bodies. And Jo?"_

"Yes?"

 _"_ _Give me your opinion on Adam. If he isn't focusing I'll send Lindsey over but I really want him to feel like we have confidence in his ability to process … the scene and what is going on in his personal life. I want others – including IAB – to see it as well, but only if it isn't compromising the case."_

"Understood."

Mac hung up in his normally abrupt fashion leaving Jo to put her phone away thoughtfully. "Danny?"

"Yeah?"

"We've got another scene."

"That was fast."

"Yeah … there's also another body."

"Same condition?"

"So says Mac." Reluctantly she looked at Danny and admitted, "I have a bad feeling about this."

Danny looked at where the body had been until moments ago and said, "If you didn't I'd be worried. That was not a pretty thing that was done to that woman."

"No it wasn't." She blew air out, stretched her neck and added, "Hawkes and Adam are processing the new scene."

"Adam?" Danny asks. "Uh …" Then Danny shrugged. "Eh, what do I know? Maybe work is exactly what he needs."

"We'll just have to see won't we?"

"We supposed to babysit him or somethin'?"

"No, absolutely not. In fact the opposite so don't give Adam the idea that's what we're doing."

Danny shrugged. "Then it's the IAB thing. Mac is trying to boost Adam's reputation, show he does just as much fieldwork as lab work these days."

Jo looked at Danny and Danny asks, "What?"

"I'm hoping Mac's strategy isn't as transparent to Adam as it apparently is to you."

"Oh he'll figure it out, Adam isn't as slow as he appears. Guy has an amazing amount going on in his head, especially when you least expect it … you think he is zoning out and it's actually when his brain is in overdrive. What worries me is what will he do with it once he figures it out. Most of the time he just takes it in stride because we all have more experience in the field than he does, seniority, yada, yada. But this … he can either choose to realize Mac is trying to do a good thing for him or he's going to worry that Mac doesn't think he can do the job. That would be bad. He don't need no more reason to feel bad right now. Linds say anything to you?"

"About?"

Danny sighed. "Someone asked her if she had some pictures of Luke and you know she whips out her phone and … she hadn't realized Adam was grabbing a coffee in the break room at the same time. She said he got really pale and nearly ran into the door frame trying to get out. Just walked away from his cup in the microwave."

"Did people start talking?"

"No. That's what upset Linds the most. No one said a word, it was like he was a ghost. For the first time she said she realized that no one really pays attention to Adam except when they absolutely have to … and usually it is because he is doing something for them and not the other way around."

Jo sighed. "Adam allows most of it. He needs to stand up to people more. Especially that … hmmm."

Danny grinned. "Would 'hmmm' refer to a certain female lab rat?"

Jo smirked. "Possibly."

Danny nodded. "And for the record, Adam has stood up to Kendall and that's been part of the problem. She wouldn't stop no matter how polite he was so he got as impolite as he ever will with a female … he's put her on ignore. To be honest I think that bothers her worse than an actual insult would."

"I don't think I've ever seen Adam be anything less than polite with anyone. I doubt he's even capable of being impolite."

Danny smirked, "Oh he's capable of it but he uses kid gloves with women and kids. But do not insinuate anything about … never mind." Using what was for him tact Danny shut up.

"You can't leave me hanging after that kind of warning. C'mon … give. I'll let you drive," she said finally regaining her normal good humor once they'd gotten to the car and packed away their kits.

Danny gave an exaggerated look around then said, "You didn't hear it from me but I think Adam and that 'friend' of his might have had something going on at some point. If nothing actually did happen I'm saying it certainly could have. She's protective of Adam and he sure as hell reacted strongly when I made a comment about them using her apartment instead of his."

Jo got a thoughtful look on her face. "That's interesting."

"Hey now, I know that look. Might not be the best time to … er … encourage a new … or old … interest. Let the man get through this mess first."

Jo tossed the keys to Danny so he could drive as promised but she decided she had some thinking to do.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Whatever Jo might have been planning it was put on hold when she got her first good look at Adam at the crime scene. She'd never seen him as intensely focused as he was at that moment … not even when he was in the middle of putting a piece of evidence back together like the time he rebuilt the crushed cell phone of a victim in order to access data stored on it. No one had thought it would work but thanks to Adam they pulled enough text messages to make an arrest. Jo suddenly felt bad, realizing Adam hadn't gotten as much credit on that case as he deserved.

The on positive Jo could find at the moment was that the bruises on Adam's face were healing more rapidly than she had expected. "Hey there!" she said carefully making her way over. "Let me look at you. Nope. You're not."

Cautiously Adam looked in her direction. Jo's attention wasn't always a good thing. He'd heard Sid once remark that she wasn't against "coloring outside the lines." "I'm not what?"

"Wearing makeup. So that begs the question … how are you making those bruises fade so quickly?"

Adam relaxed imperceptibly and answered, "Some all-natural stuff my friend swears by made out of arnica and comfrey. Did you come to get the evidence we've collected so far?"

Accepting the pointed change in topic Jo said, "Mac sent us over to compare our vic with yours. Where's the body?"

Hawkes, hearing the question called, "Over here and I hope you guys aren't about to tell us there are two woman that have been this brutalized."

Jo reluctantly thinks about letting Adam to step away, noticing the marked difference in his normal personality but instead she says, "Adam?"

He looks up without saying anything.

"What's your take?" she asks indicating the scene with her hand.

"Lots of evidence but nothing that stands out." At her raised eyebrow he clarifies. "Yeah everything looks pretty gross and you'd think there would be plenty of transfer if nothing else but so far nothing, nada, zip. We have a victim that was viciously attacked, her identity obliterated. But …"

"But?"

"Look, maybe you should ask Hawkes."

"I'm asking you."

Adam sighed and in a detached voice said, "That woman … the vic … she wasn't just beaten for the sake of being beat on. This wasn't a kidnapping or rape that got out of control. The injuries done to her are specific and intentional, they feel … planned. The bones of her face on one side have been pulverized, her eyes were removed … we haven't found them. Her face was violently sliced away with some unknown tool and if I had to guess I'd say it was a grass trimmer or something similar. Her rib cage was pried open and Hawke's said her heart was torn out … not cut out but torn out … and the heart tossed over in the corner of the room. Any one of those injuries could be the COD … shock or blood loss, it's a tossup. But it wasn't just one action, it was all of them and other indignities Hawkes suspects but that Sid will have to confirm. And I don't think the perp saw her as a substitute object, I think she herself was specifically targeted for some as yet unknown reason … but it was too personal to be a chance encounter. The perp wasn't careless, this place was carefully chosen and I think the woman was too. But what the perp did definitely wasn't scientific … it doesn't have the feel of it. He … or she … was just plain pissed off and had no intention of stopping until each meaningful-to-him action was taken. The pose he left the vic's body in was more than just suggestive … it was deviant, intentionally defiling. The whole picture makes me feel that something was done to the perp and as a result the perp was going to make damn sure that something happened to the victim."

Danny walked over to Jo after talking with Hawkes. "Same injuries as our vic. Almost exactly the same, like a template. Pose was different but just as sick."

Adam looked around. "Nothing feels random here. You can see arterial splatter in a couple of places then there's big splashes of blood over the top like someone was staging a horror movie scene. Like the director decided there didn't look like there was enough blood to get the reaction he wanted so told someone in the crew to grab a bucket of the stuff and really splash it around."

Jo and Danny both looked around and began to get the sense of what Adam had already observed.

Hawkes walked back over to them after recovering the body. "There's too much blood here for only two victims. Adam is gathering multiple samples from all over the room, we'll type and match it against the two known victims to see if they were the only donors or not."

Jo asked, "Anything else?" The question was general but she was looking at Adam and Adam took it that she expected an answer from him.

"He took his tools, whatever they were … and that is tools, plural. All of the damage done to the vics – at least this one – could not have been done with the same tool. We can see if the tool marks on both victims match to see if a specific tool was used for a specific purpose for both women."

"You said the perp chose this location with care?"

"Yeah. Old building. Creepy. Nothing but empty rooms. Lots of tile all over. Only a few windows. Again, like the stage was being set. Old pipe – strong cast iron drain pipe – in that corner he can tie her to so she can't escape. We have fibers from some kind of rope. And once he does get down to business the room is large enough that the perp can swing a tool … even a long blade … and nothing is getting in the way." Adam makes a further observation. "Look at the floor … no obvious prints beyond our own, not even rodents. But look at this area I've market off. See how it looks slightly different? My guess is this was where he walked in and out and did most of the work. There's feathering at the edges, like the blood was thinner for some reason. I can't prove it yet but I think he probably tossed a bucket or some other container of water to wash away any evidence he left and then threw more blood on top of it to hide the fact that he was hiding something."

Jo and Danny both followed his explanation with their own investigative senses and nodded in agreement. Danny said, "Might not be water. There's a … a smell. I can't place it. Kinda sweet."

"Syrup of some kind, one mixed with … I don't know what that is," Jo said.

"A deodorizer."

"How do you know that?"

"A friend of mine uses it in her apartment if the specimens she is working on aren't completely tissue free. It's called OdorX or something like that. It is highly concentrated and a little goes a long way. It better 'cause she says the stuff isn't cheap."

"Does it require a license to purchase?"

Adam shook his head. "No. Internet or she's even gotten it from janitorial supply houses. Exterminators use the stuff to kill the smell of decaying rats in bad infestations. Animal control uses it too. She said even realtors will use it to flip a house that … anyway …" Jo noted that Adam had almost slipped into his normal conversational style but stopped himself. On the one had it could be viewed as a good thing. On the other Jo was worried how out of character it was that he stopped himself without first being called on it … and what that signified.

Jo was just about to tell Adam that she was finished interrupting him when he suddenly blurted, "Yes, the friend is Emi O'Ryan and no, nothing is going on. She's just a good friend. That's all."

Jo blinked, while the other two men tried to act like nothing strange was going on. Adam's shoulders sagged. "That was stupid. Now you're definitely going to think something is going on."

"Actually I finally realized why her name sounds familiar," Jo responded calmly. "Professor Armitage from NYU is an acquaintance of mine. He happened to mention to me that a Dr. O'Ryan was creating life-size figures for the history museum based on actual skeletal remains found in a downtown foundation excavation." Jo didn't say that the mention only came after she'd made the connection herself from the Journal of Forensic Science and she called to confirm her suspicions.

Adam swallowed and slowly nodded. "Yeah. Emi is part of that grant."

"Curiosity got the better of me I'm afraid. I looked her up. She's got quite the resume for someone so young. Yet she doesn't really socialize from what I understand. She's probably grateful for your friendship. I'm really not surprised that you two would hit it off … lots of things in common."

"Me and Emi?" Adam seemed shocked that anyone would think so. Then he shrugged and admitted, "Wellllll, maybe a few things but mostly because … uh …"

Jo grinned. "Professor Armitage said being around her is like trying to harness a bumble bee. You might get the saddle on but getting it cinched is almost impossible."

Adam shrugged. "Yeah. Pretty much. She can't help it, her brain is just always on and running. Even if she were tied perfectly still so she couldn't move she would still blink and roll her eyes or hum or something. It's not ADD it's like the opposite problem … hyper focus that creates a lot of excess energy that has to go someplace. She also has an eidetic memory. Don't even try to play Trivial Pursuit with her unless you are on her team, it's ridiculous. Anyway I need to get back to …"

"Sure. Of course. I didn't mean to hold you up."

Adam looked at her like he was suspicious for a moment that she was laughing at him but then just turned and walked back to where he had been when she and Danny had arrived.

Danny walked over and asked, "You get what you came for?"

Jo nodded. "And maybe a little more. You ready to head back to the lab?"

"I'm driving so lead the way."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Adam trudged down the hall to his apartment thinking the day hadn't sucked quite as badly as he'd expected but it had come close a couple of times. He was glad that people weren't asking him about Michelle and the baby – he mentally winced and then realized it wasn't tearing a hole in his soul anymore just to think about them – but he wished some of them weren't trying quite so hard not to ask him about them. That was nearly as bad as if they'd asked for a full synopsis.

He thought about knocking on Emi's door but he'd been taking advantage of her a lot the last couple of days and knew he needed to stand on his own two feet. He hadn't slept in his place until last night and the only reason he did last night was because she was working on a project and the smell was getting to him. He was a CSI for cripes sake. He'd worked on evidence that would have gagged a maggot but something about Emi's project just got to him. She was a girl … ok, she was a woman … but still. The sight of her petite figure carrying around a clear plastic bag that had a human head in it had weirded him out after having watched a marathon of Friday the 13th movies with her all day long. He'd been in the mood for a gorefest and that sort of thing didn't phase Emi. Nothing phased Emi as far as he'd found … scratch that, nothing gross phased Emi; other stuff could drive her into the stratosphere. He briefly wondered what she would have made of today's crime scene. But that head in the Ziploc bag … man oh man. Actually it had only been part of a head; she was reconstructing the parts that weren't there but was complaining that the archaeology department that had sent it to her had failed to warn her that they were sending it "as is"; in other words it hadn't been de-fleshed yet. She'd been rummaging around in her "tool box" looking for what she needed to take care of that before she could actually get down to the work she'd been hired to do.

He knew that there were computer programs that could do some of what she did faster – they had them in the lab – but Emi had skill. She brought her reconstructions to life like a computer program never could. She could also do something special. She could reverse age a face … or erase the marks that life left behind … or put them there if need be. And she didn't need computer generation to do it. She saw it all in her head and would sketch it out. You could make a flip book from her sketches and it was almost like animation. Emi looked at the whole picture … bone, genetic data and approximate age if available, remaining tissue if any, marks left by changes in nutrition and habits, era they lived in, just all of it. She built a picture … not just a visual picture but a mental one … of who she was supposed to reconstruct. More often than not at the end of a project she came so close to the real thing that people were often shocked … or spellbound. It is why most of her work came from museums.

She could also do what she called a "reverse construct." When he first met her she'd been creating models from statues located in an art museum. One of them was so detailed and realistic she'd become irritated that the director complained it was pornographic.

He hated doing laundry. You'd figure he would be good at it with a degree in chemistry but he wasn't. He was constantly spilling stuff on his clothes and then having to figure out how to get the stains out without destroying what was stained. He had less trouble piecing together degraded DNA off of a piece of fabric in the lab than he did getting pasta sauce off his own shirt. Then there was the drying and folding and God help him, the ironing. He hated irons because of the memories he associated with them … but also because he'd fried more than a few shirts and had to toss them, and his hands and fingers a few times as well. He'd been known to resort the fabric steamer at work when he couldn't hide wrinkles under a lab coat. But geez, ties were the worst. He had a few he occasionally wore but he didn't know what was a bigger problem … cleaning them or tying them.

The day he'd met Emi for the first time he'd been doing the clothes he'd played hockey in the weekend before; he knew from bitter experience that putting it off was a disaster waiting to happen because it didn't take long for the stink of the sportswear to permeate his whole apartment though he'd made the same mistake that time too. It was wicked after a long day in the lab to have to come home and be forced to open a window or put vapor rub on his 'stache to deal with the smell. Burying them down in the bottom of the hamper only worked for the first couple of days.

He walked in and she'd been doing laundry as well, sitting on the washing machine actually – the one that tended to bang around when you washed jeans in it – and making a face at the phone she was talking into. "Look, you asked me to construct a life-sized model of the man that the statute had been modeled on. It isn't my fault that it was a male nude. And trust me on this, the last thing I found the least bit titillating was reading about the private life of that particular sculptor and his nasty personal habits just to get a feel for the subject I was constructing. It also isn't my fault that the genitals on the statute do not mesh up with the genitals on the male model I built. You wanted realistic. The ones on the statute were hidden under leaves after all and men do not really run around with leaves growing on their privates … grape leaves, fig leaves, whatever … it just isn't lifelike in the least. It's not like I made him built like that Holmes dude that rocked the porn world. I just built him normal-ish." There had been someone on the other end of the phone that sounded slightly hysterical. "I know the exhibition opens tomorrow. I don't know … slide a pair of fruit of the looms on him. Call it a modern interpretation or something. At least he'll fill out the front better than the Ken doll you want me to turn him into. I've got standards you know." Some more squawking but it sounded much less hysterical than before. "Sure. I get it. I'm not insulted so don't freak. It's just you guys gave me very specific instructions and I gave you exactly what your instructions created."

When she got off the phone she'd looked straight at him and said, "Honestly. For some swanky, artsy fartsy museum with every kind of nude you could imagine shoved in every corner of that place, they sure are a bunch of prudes. What the heck? They asked for an anatomically correct reconstruction and that's what I gave them."

All Adam could remember doing is standing there pouring in detergent into the washer … scoop after scoop after scoop … listening to her talk crazy in the sanest way he had ever heard. That's when Gary walked in carrying Reni. It had been one of his good days when he had more of them than the bad ones. Gary took one look at his face and what he was doing and started cracking up. Adam had felt like his face was going to melt off in embarrassment but Gary made it easy by saying, "Don't worry Man … Emi has that effect on almost everyone."

It was Gary that had made introductions. He'd been surprised to find out they were married and that Reni was their kid but after getting to know them and their story it was all just so natural and worked really well. At least it had then. Or what he had been allowed to see had appeared that way. The last three months before Reni died Gary's occasional issues became regular issues and then turned into daily issues. By that time the only reason Adam continued to hang out is because he worried about Emi. Gary had emotional problems but they would have been manageable if he had just … Nope, Adam decided to let that guilt all be Gary's responsibility and remain in the past; he had enough going on with his own emotional problems to take on anyone else's … especially a dead guy's … even if the dead guy had been a friend at one time.

Adam finally shut the door behind him and looked around his apartment and wondered what he was supposed to do. Eat? Watch tv? Play some video games? Was there something constructive he was supposed to do or was he supposed to veg out? He definitely didn't need to clean house. The place was spotless … again that was Emi. Michelle had stormed out of his life leaving great big holes both figuratively and literally. God the apartment had looked like a war zone. Something his mother used to say drifted through his head … in like a lion, out like a lamb, in like a lamb, out like a lion. That's how it had been with Michelle. They'd meshed their lives and belongings so quickly, he'd been worried at first he was dreaming and then she'd just turned out to be great for him. He'd felt close to being whole for the first time in his life. She even made dealing with his father's illness easier … not easy, but definitely easier.

Then the incident where he'd been out in the field and someone had taken a shot at him for no other reason than they thought he was a cop. Sure he carried a badge and a gun but that was beside the point … he wasn't a cop and never even pretended to be one. He just investigated stuff and left the cop stuff to the cops. But now he was wondering that if it hadn't been almost getting shot, that maybe eventually something else would have come up to make her "feel conflicted." What a load of crap.

Adam rubbed the back of his neck and looked around. His place looked Spartan, nearly bare, compared to what it had looked like just a week ago. Every molecule of Michelle and the baby had been scrubbed away. He wasn't sure if he appreciated it or not though he knew in the long run it was what had needed to happen. He would have just liked to have hung onto the past-that-could-have-been for a little while longer. It wouldn't have made the letting go any easier but at least he wouldn't have felt so damn guilty about moving on so fast.

Not that he was moving on. As a matter of fact he was still standing in the exact same place he'd been standing in for the last several moments trying to figure out what to do next. This sucked. Being alone. Again. Even though it sucked he wasn't too sure he wanted to try to not be alone. Again. He knew he'd been here before but not exactly like this. Sure, the girl had left him … that wasn't different. The girl had broken his heart … that wasn't different either. He'd even had a couple of live in girlfriends that had trashed his place when they left. But this time a baby was involved … only it wasn't his baby. Damn that hurt.

Adam stopped and shook his head hard enough to make his hair look worse than normal. It looked worse because he'd tried to order his hair the way he'd intended to order his life from here on out and he'd gone a little insane with the gel to get the curls to stay put. Kinda looked like he had helmet head but he hadn't cared. He was trying to be all about the order and control. He needed boundaries. Boundaries kept the bad things out. Or in … inside where no one could see them. After all he was getting too old to cry … hell he'd been too old for a long time. His old man had been at him for as long as he could remember – well at least until had gotten sick and even then it still crept into the conversation even though he didn't know it was Adam he was talking to. He'd heard an untold number of times to knock it off and stop being such a sissy. Looks like maybe his old man had at least one thing right. Crap happens in life. You just had to take it. Let your heart get involved and it just made life crappier.

With almost snake like speed Adam suddenly reached out and picked up a wine bottle and was about to throw it against the wall when there was a loud knock on the door. Adam stopped. He looked at the bottle in his hand like he didn't know how it had gotten there. He started to shake before slowly and carefully setting the bottle back on the kitchen counter and backing away like it was a live round of ammunition.

There was another knock and then someone called softly, "Adam? If it's a bad time I'll come back later but … I have cookies. And … anyway … cookies. It probably is a bad time … you might even be in the shower and I'm talking to no one which ranks right up there in the stupid department. I'll set them down by your door but don't leave them here too long … I mean assuming you can hear me. The landlord's mother finally got a new dog to replace the one that died. A dachshund … one of those ridiculous looking wiener dogs … and this one is more ridiculous than most because she's painted the thing's toenails florescent orange and I think glued some kind of fake Mohawk on its head and it just … anyway … like I said … cookies … so I'll be going now."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Adam took a few running steps and then wrenched the door open catching Emi by such surprise as she was bending over and setting the bag of cookies down that she fell sideways and landed on her backside. From her position on the hallway floor Emi blinked and then said, "Uh … cookies."

Adam opened his mouth but for a moment he didn't know what he was going to say. Then it came to him. "I've got milk. I think. Or tea is good. I have a friend that makes great tea."

Slowly a smile blossomed on Emi's face. "Tea can be great … but not on the hallway floor. It's pretty grody down here."

It was like Adam had just realized she'd fallen. "Oh … crap … uh … let me …"

At that moment a small, furry torpedo shot out of the stairwell at the end of the hallway, saw Emi on the floor and barreled straight towards her. Emi's eyes grew wide and she practically flew off the floor and started climbing Adam. "Oh god not again! It's insatiable! Save the cookies! I swear I'm not going to survive another wiener flying tackle!"

The landlord's mother was just in time to save the dog from Emi and walked away cuddling the thing in her arms crooning to it like it was a baby. It looked over its mistress' shoulder beseechingly. Emi's fright and subsequent anger because the beastie had scared her suddenly turned to humor and she got the giggles.

"Oh god … sorry … sorry I just … oh my god did you see the look in its eyes? It was like 'please kill me before my dog buddies spot me, she's gonna put me in a dress I just know it' and … geez … did you say you had milk?"

That's when they both realized he was holding Emi. She scrambled out of his arms while he tried to keep her steady so her feet would stay under her but it took them both a moment before they could see the humor in the situation rather than be embarrassed. "Geez," Emi sighed. "Sorry Adam, I've got like this cosmic thing going on where if it is weird or ridiculous it's going to happen to me. It's probably retribution for all of the trouble I gave my parents when I was a kid."

She inwardly winced wondering if she'd said the wrong thing but Adam brushed it off. "Don't worry about it. So … uh … what kind of cookies?"

"Peanut butter chocolate chip."

Adam's mouth started watering so much he had to wipe the spit from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Emi noticed and asked suspiciously, "Did you eat lunch?"

"Uh …"

"Adam! Look, I'm not trying to tell you what to do … well I am but not to butt into your business only I am sorta because I've been there. Well not exactly but sorta. And I don't want to hurt your feelings because of course you can decide for yourself. But since I do happen to know what's best in this instance I'm telling you not to skip eating real food because it isn't good for you. I know life pretty well sucks right now and there is no first aid kit on the planet with the right kind of bandages to stop you feeling like you're going to bleed out soul first … but food, you know? Not eating is only going to play havoc with your glucose levels and give you a headache. Neither one is helpful at all. Italian or Chinese?"

Talking to Emi sometimes made Adam feel like his brain was suffering whiplash from all of the subject changes and sharp turns. He managed to keep up most of the time however. "Er … Chinese I guess."

"Ok. Change into something comfy and come back to my place and I'll have a stir fry going."

"Emi you don't have to do that."

"Of course I don't have to. And if your reluctance is about the project, it's all cleaned up. I took it over to the lab at NYU. I have a standing offer over there so long as I let a student or three observe or whatever the heck the department needs to justify me using their space for free. I had a student nearly pass out today. I told him next time knock first but if he was going to have such a weak stomach he might want to choose a different major because I was totally not into filling out the stupid paperwork for an incident report. He found his backbone after that but I think I might have scared him because he kind of stood too far away to really observe what I was doing. So the place is clean and aired out and free of the ick factor."

"Er … no that's not it … well maybe a little … but it's more …" He stopped briefly before taking the plunge. "Emi, I'm taking advantage of you. I appreciate it like you don't know but still … grown man here … gotta act like one."

Emi blinked at him and then got real serious before asking quietly, "Can we talk? In your apartment I mean, not out here in the hallway. If I'm going to make a fool of myself again I don't want witnesses."

Adam got cold but nodded and moved so she could step in. He pulled the door closed and watched her cautiously as she rocked nervously with her arms wrapped around herself.

"See, here's the thing Adam. I guess I need to apologize. For being prissy and bossy. I … I don't really mean to be but I kinda am. I've always been bad at the people thing. It isn't often that I meet people that can … anyway … and you're one of the very few. And for some weird reason I haven't run you off yet. Then you were like a rock when I needed one," she said referring to Reni's and Gary's deaths. "And then you let me be there for you, only it was pretty selfish because I was there for me at least as much as I was there for you. I guess I was assuming you'd let me be there this time too but I get it … you need space. So anyway, you don't have to … you know … be nice anymore. I can come on kinda strong and …"

"Wait … hey … are you … are you apologizing for … for the last couple of days?"

"Yeah. I'm … pushy. Da was always reminding me that people weren't pieces to be moved around on a chess board even if I thought I was doing it for the greater good or whatever. I've got a bad habit of forgetting that … especially when my own needs get mixed up in it."

"Your own needs."

"Yeah," Emi said and Adam was surprised to hear shame in her voice. "See … I've got … problems. I know it. You know it. Most people that meet me know it within the first three minutes. But the problem I try to keep hidden the most is … god this sounds so pathetic … see I … I … need to be needed. Not just a little bit like most normal people but I go into this stupid depression thing if … anyway … it's not your problem and I shouldn't be the way I am but I am and … and … I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like I have. So like I said … you don't have to be so nice because I get it. Gary was always saying …"

Adam had already known what her personality was. Even if he hadn't figured it out almost immediately, three years of real friendship would have clued him in. Holding her while she felt so bad she couldn't cry and then finding her in the shower with a towel shoved in her mouth so no one would hear her scream when she'd finally started to let it out … that told him all he needed to know. He just hadn't realized she felt bad about that facet of it and he wasn't going to let her feel bad about it this time. "Forget about whatever Gary said. The last thing you need is to take advice from the memory of a guy who couldn't keep his own shoes tied."

Emi sighed. "Part of the way he was is my responsibility."

"No!"

Emi jumped. This was the Adam in charge, the one that reminded her of her father – at least in how he was able to manage her moods – and one of the reasons why she respected him like she did.

"Emi, Gary made his choices. Sure, you kinda babied him but when I say the guy couldn't keep his own shoes tied I'm not exaggerating. For most people letting them suffer the consequences of the situations they got themselves into would work for encouraging them to make different choices but not Gary. He … he just wasn't capable of it most of the time. If you hadn't done what you did … as often as you did it … Reni would be in foster care and Gary would probably be in a psyche ward someplace or homeless or worse. You managed Gary because someone needed to and because you were his friend … and in Felicia's memory too … and for Reni's sake most of all."

"You're not Gary," Emi said quietly. "You … you don't need me. I need to stop … stop trying … oh God. What a fluster cluck I've turned this into. I should have left you in peace. I'm going now before I completely destroy our friendship. I couldn't handle that at all. So … shutting up and going now."

Emi started to go passed him but Adam moved in front of her. "Emi …" Then he groaned and reached for her even though he knew it was not a smart move. "Don't leave me. I'm not Gary. I refuse to be like him. But … but I do … need you. Not like him but like me. I … I don't think alone is good for me right now. My head feels … full of poison."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Over the next two weeks Adam dreaded going to work less and less as each day passed. He still didn't want to have to give a dissertation on the failure of his relationship with Michelle, not being a father, and what it all meant to him but he didn't flinch every time someone started talking to him either. Except when Kendall was being Kendall. He had trouble understanding what he ever saw in her. The intellectual challenge? He got over that when she started to be such a … never mind what she started to be; if he thought the word too much he might accidentally let it fall out of his mouth which would not be pleasant. In the mood he was in lately Kendall being Kendall could poke a hole through the wall around the negative emotions that wanted to break free and create havoc all around him. Even thinking about her gave her too much room in his life so most of the time he simply treated her like everyone treated him … like she didn't exist except when he was absolutely required to interact with her.

At this point he simply didn't care what people thought about his refusal to talk about certain subjects. Even if he had been inclined to worry about what people thought he didn't have the time for it … wasn't giving himself the time for it. Order and control. And boundaries. It was working. At least that is what he insisted on telling himself. Except for the hair. But Emi said the hair wasn't a problem.

After listening to him complain for a while she interrupted by saying, "Honestly? I think your hair shows character."

It was another one of Emi's weird personifications but Adam was used to them so he went with it just to see where she was going. "Er … my hair shows … character?"

"Yeah. It's just totally you. No matter how sucky things get there's always going to be one piece of you that refuses to bow down to it. It doesn't even let bad weather get it down or take away the bounce factor. Gotta admire that part, wish I could say the same. On the inside, you're just like your hair … nice and bouncy and things just never take you completely down."

"Uh …"

But Emi wasn't finished. "The hair gives insightful people … and I've got butt loads of insight according to Gary's shrink … a window to see who you are on the inside even if they might not openly acknowledge it. I think it's cool. Not to mention it totally goes with your bone structure. The way you are trying to torture yourself with that gel … that has who knows what kind of chemicals in it by the way … just doesn't set well on your face. I wouldn't mind it if you let me trim that feral thing you are letting run wild on your face though. It is going to climb into your ears pretty soon and you won't have to wait until you are an old man to need a trim in that area."

Adam had thought her observation funny but the next morning he'd picked up the hair gel to concrete his hair and … then he hadn't. But he did spend a little extra time taming the 'stache and whiskers. Emi had been right and he'd had to sharpen the blade on his trimmer just to get through so it returned to the cut he normally preferred. In a strange way it made him feel better. She was also right about the rest of it, his hair really did reflect who he was; not necessarily who he wanted to be but maybe that would come with time. Not to mention that bead head crap never worked anyway and always got on his shirt collars and his hair got so stiff it was practically a deadly weapon. People always thought he did the "artful disarray" thing with his hair on purpose. Nope. His hair just grew every which direction like that and the curls only made it all worse.

At work however Adam put the introspective stuff in a box and stuffed it way back in the back of his head. At work he tried to stay as focused as possible because it kept him from having to think about the stuff he didn't want to think about. It kept … it kept the other stuff at bay. When he was with Emi it was easy to get through when he was angry. When she wasn't around it was a lot harder. He still shied away from analyzing what he called "the wine bottle incident". It had been too close to what his father had done too often … only with beer and whiskey bottles. Turning into his father was a nightmare Adam simply refused to live. But what if … what if he couldn't control it? That was the sixty-four thousand dollar question.

Adam stood looking at his computer screen and grimaced. Just because he was focused on work didn't mean that the work got any easier. In fact it seemed to be getting more frustrating. He didn't want to admit it but by enforcing so much control, so many boundaries, on his thought patterns was actually handicapping the insightful brilliance that often struck when he most needed it to. Not this time. This time it was getting to the point he wanted to pick something up and throw it at the computer screen. The answer was staring him in the face. He knew it, and it was something simple.

He finally stormed out of the lab, over to the elevator, and down to street level. You weren't supposed to make personal phone calls in the lab. Some people would do it from the break room but for this he needed privacy, or at least as much privacy as the anonymity of a NYC street could gain him.

As soon as she answered he felt something unwind from around his head. "Emi!"

"Hey! What's up?"

Adam stopped abruptly and stared at his phone before asking, "Why does it sound like you are at the bottom of a barrel?'

"Uh … maybe … sorta … because I am."

"Er … ok. Why are you at the bottom of a barrel?"

"Don't you dare laugh Adam Ross!"

He couldn't help it however, he had already started to grin. Emi tended to get into predicaments on a regular basis, what she called the cosmic thing hanging over her head. Sometimes she even referred to the weird things that happened to her as gremlins.

"I said not to laugh!"

"I'm not. Honest. Just hurry up and tell me why you're … just tell me."

In a small voice she said, "I … I fell in."

Adam opened his mouth to bark out a huge laugh only he stopped and asked, "You aren't hurt are you?"

"No," she answered, still embarrassed. "But if Professor Armitage or one of his students don't come back soon I'm going to wind up with a whale of a headache."

"Er … Emi … if you have your cell phone why haven't you called for help?"

"Because I don't know anyone's private number here, I always go through the departmental secretary. But she's not here right now. And I refuse to call 911 over this. I feel so stupid."

In a slightly hurt voice he said, "You could have called me."

"Oh no! I'm a flake but I'm not a big enough flake that I'll risk getting you in trouble with that Mac Taylor guy. You aren't supposed to take personal phone calls at work. You would get in trouble when Mi … uh … when it happened in the past. So no … uh uh … ain't happening. If no one had come before you got off of work then I would have called you but not a minute before … may still work out like that. Besides, you're my friend not my errand boy. I got myself into this I have to get myself out."

"Emi …"

"Forget it. Just keep me from absolutely dying of boredom and tell me why you called me."

Adam shook his head already formulating a plan but he also told her what he needed. He explained the problem he'd been having and asked her to think about it.

"Oh … like a logic problem. God I love those things."

Adam knew she did indeed. He told her to hang tight, that he was sure Professor Armitage or someone else would be there soon. And then he said goodbye.

Lucky for him he didn't have to wait for the elevator. He got off and jogged to Jo's office where he interrupted her and Lindsey talking but he didn't seem to notice. "Jo? I need a ginormous favor."

The look on his face … a cross between hilarity and urgency … caught both women off guard. This was Adam as he they rarely saw him … totally relaxed and having a blast being that way. It had been so long since either woman had seen him laugh let alone look like he was about to collapse from it that they didn't even say anything about being rudely interrupted.

"Sure Hon, watcha need?"

"Professor Armitage's direct phone number if you have it? Please?"

"Oh no, is something wrong?"

"Yep," he said but he was trying not to laugh.

Jo checked her cell and then passed the number to Adam who plugged it in as fast as his fingers could go.

 _"_ _Juan Armitage."_

"Professor Armitage, this is Adam Ross. I'm a friend of Emerald O'Ryan's. Could you go to the last place you saw her … might be the lab or might be the store room, I'm not certain."

There was a brief pause and then the professor sighed and asked, _"Dios. What has she done this time?"_

Adam chuckled, "She's stuck. In a barrel. Upside down."

" _How many times must I tell her to leave the grunt work to the interns?! That's what they are being paid to do, not stand around being … never mind. Thank you for telling me. But … how did you know?"_

"I called her. She has her cell."

 _"_ _She has her … ?! Never mind. I too am a friend of Emerald's and I completely understand. Thank you for letting me know."_

"Um … don't tell her I called please. Just go rescue her. It sounded like she'd been stuck for a while. She's getting bored."

There was a yelp and then Adam could sense that the man was nearly running. " _No. No, no, no. I was there the last time Emerald became bored. Never again. Madre de Dios … never again."_

Adam got off the phone satisfied and … happy. Not happy that Emi was stuck in a barrel but happy that … well for lots of reasons he refused to examine too closely. In fact he realized he was at work and the only thing he should be examining are those test result.

"Thanks Jo," he said before jogging off to the lab.

Jo and Lindsey just stared after him and then at each other. It was Jo that broke the stunned silence by saying, "I have got to meet this girl."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Several hours later Adam was once again staring at his computer screens and the printouts showing the results of tests he had run. He was once again on the ragged edge of frustration but no one looking at him would have seen just how close to the ragged edge he was. Adam wasn't nearly as transparent as Danny thought he was. Adam had spent a lifetime learning how to hide things, especially how to hide how he was really feeling. So when Mac walked into the lab Adam was able to behave professionally.

"Adam?"

"Yeah Boss?"

Mac stopped momentarily surprised at how … well, normal … Adam sounded. Normal and calm. Which was concerning. Because Adam was hardly ever normal and calm. "Er …"

"You here about the results?"

Trying to save himself since he'd actually come to see for himself the spectacle that Jo and Lindsey said they witnessed. Given how Adam was acting currently they must have been exaggerating. Sure, the team missed Adam's normal … or at least normal for him … joie de vivre. Mac remembered thinking at one time that Adam lived life like no one was watching. Not these days, but at least the way he was acting now was infinitely better than the beaten man he had been a couple of weeks ago. Mac crossed his arms and simply nodded, not quite trusting himself to voice his true concerns at that moment.

Both men got down to business. "Same results. I've re-checked them. And had other people check my rechecks." At Mac's irritated look he said, "Even extracting the fake blood syrup we discovered from all of the real blood, there is still too much real blood for one person alone to be the bleeder. However all of the blood _has_ the same DNA profile and it all had the same amount of degradation so it was bled at approximately the same time. Same results every test, every equation, every analysis of the crime scene photos."

That's when Kendall stuck her head in and said, "There's an angry woman demanding to see you at the reception desk. She claims to be some doc from NYU but she doesn't look like one. You have another girlfriend so soon?"

Shocking both Mac and Kendall with the swiftness of his response Adam stood up and said, "Shove it Kendall. And fair warning, that woman out there can and will wipe the floor with you if you get in her face or irritate her in any way."

Covering his shock with annoyance Mac snapped, "Adam?"

"Sorry Boss," he said though he didn't sound like it. "I needed another brain, a non-computer one, to …"

Just then Adam glanced up and it took everything he had not to start laughing. That wasn't good. Boundaries Ross … remember boundaries, order, and control. But geez.

Emi stood there with hands on hips … one of her go to poses … but it was what she was wearing … and not wearing that was surreal. Starting at her feet she had rubber boots on that, due her height, came to her knees instead of mid-calf like they were supposed to. Above the boots Adam could just make out the statue of liberty socks that she'd had on with shorts that morning. The pants weren't pants but was a utili-kilt that had several pockets … all of them full enough that the buttons strained to contain it all. The t-shirt she wore that said "Technically alcohol _is_ a solution" accompanied by the molecular structure of beer. Her face had smudges of what looked like paint and her hair – curlier even than Adam's own when she allowed it out of the braid she normally kept it in – was sproinging in several different directions. Adam finally cracked. "Emi … er …" He tried really hard not to snicker but it was a lost cause.

Emi blinked then took a really good look at herself. "Oh … yeah … I guess … anyway … painting the reconstruct and was kinda stuck on the butt. I hate painting butts. I keep thinking someone is going to jump out of the closet or something and take a picture and then spread it all over facebook with a caption like 'forensic scientist paints butts for a living.' That would completely suck."

Trying to untie the conversational knots she was tying he asked, "And?"

"And anyway I was painting this butt that I just knew was gonna be hairy … don't ask, you don't want to know … and it came to me. Identical twins."

Adam stood there blinking then started to grin. He went to high five Emi but then stopped and asked suspiciously, "There's nothing disgusting on your hands this time is there?"

Emi opened her mouth to automatically deny it but then closed it and closely examined the body parts in question, including looking at her nails closely. Then she shrugged. "Nope. Unless you count a few small smudges of butt paint. Hey, you ate all of the cookies for breakfast … which by the way is not exactly nutritional genius so tomorrow real food ok? Not to mention I wanted some … so at least leave me crumbs next time. On the way over I had to stop at a hot dog cart but somehow I ordered five instead of one and three of them have all of that crap on them that you like. I'm starving. And I can't take these back to the lab or Armitage will have a breakdown … he gets grossed out by the strangest things. Anyway … hungry?"

Adam had been following the loops of her conversation and on cue his stomach rumbled loudly. This time it was Emi's turn to snicker. "Geezzzz. Start an earthquake why don't you."

During the entire conversation Mac and Kendall had been left trying to keep up without much success. Adam glanced up and then finally introduced them. "Mac? This is Emerald O'Ryan. Kendall? It's Dr. O'Ryan to you." Turning back to Mac he added, "Emi appears to have a potential solution to our conundrum. We're going to go discuss the possibilities over some 'dawgs. When I have something more you'll be the first person I'll bring it to."

For some reason Mac was having a hard time not smiling. "You do that. In the mean time I'll assign Kendall to cleaning up the lab in case we have to re-run the re-checks."

Adam grinned, turned Emi around and practically ducked walked her to the breakroom. He was starving.

They passed Danny and Hawkes in the hall but didn't stop to say hello. Both men looked at each other then reversed course to see where the two were heading. Along the way they picked up Jo and Lindsey who had been alerted to the commotion by Mac. What they saw unfolding before them was worth a look or three.

Completely oblivious to everything else Adam grabbed two chairs and spun them so they sat side by side while Emi grabbed one of the small end tables artfully placed around the room to try and take away from the drab, utilitarian look of the space. Then they stopped, looked at each other, sat, put there feet up on the table, and reached into the bag that Emi had been carrying and pulled out a hotdog. They unwrapped their own and started eating. All in sync, from the sitting to the eating to the exact expression of bliss after the first bite.

Danny asked of no one in particular, "Is it just me or did anyone else find that more than a little disturbing?"

Jo and Lindsey just grinned while Hawkes whispered, "My God, there's two of them."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Adam and Emi sat and ate and talked for thirty minutes. Anyone outside of the conversation listening slowly backed away shaking their head. They spoke in some weird amalgamation of words that were supposedly English, even sounded like English, but when translation was attempted discovered it was a whole new and strange language constructed of urban slang, chat-speak, scientific jargon, acronyms, oddly put together phrases, and strangely placed pauses and odd sounds. They'd take turns eating a bite of hot dog and chewing while the other talked. They never interrupted but did occasionally add a bark of laughter, a snort, or some other exclamatory noise of agreement.

Hawkes was fascinated. What was more he started to understand what they were saying. To him it was as good as a course when he was back in medical school. He also realized that both Adam and Emi were very smart … were both brilliant in fact. How he hadn't realized that about Adam … but then he thought about it and he had, but due to Adam's self-effacing tendencies he kept letting the realization slip away and thus having to relearn it all over again. There was a reason everyone always expected Adam to do whatever it was they asked … it was because he was capable of it, most simply did not understand what they meant. "Amazing," he thought, shaking his head.

Sheldon Hawkes started to smile and carefully made his way over. "Mind if I join you?" They both jerked their feet down and made to stand up but Hawkes smiled. "Take it easy guys. I just wanted in. So, how do we determine if the victims are identical?"

Adam looked at Emi who looked at him as if to say, "Forget it Big Boy, this is your playground so you can do the talking."

He cleared his throat and said, "Easiest and quickest way would be to get Sid to start with the bodies, he's back from sick leave. I don't know who it was the City sent over to be his temp while he was out but he isn't as good … and we need really good for this. The bodies haven't been claimed yet so they're still in the morgue."

"I saw reports sent up by Dr. Johnson, which is who you are referring to. While I agree they aren't in Sid's style they aren't bad. What's wrong with the ones that we need?"

"He keeps only sending one up at a time and getting them mixed up."

Emi got a thoughtful look on her face and Hawkes spotted it first. "What are you thinking Dr. O'Ryan?"

"I've worked on similar projects … cemetery relocation, so different situation. However, what if … and I'm not criticizing anyone … but what if he is sending up both reports but because the results are identical the data gets pooled into a single report at some point along the way? All it would take is one accidental blip in the ID number of the corpses to start a train reaction …"

Adam snorted and said, "Chain reaction."

"Huh? Oh … uh sorry. Reni used to mimic things she'd hear me say but sometimes she would mix things up and then it became a funny and …" Adam reached out and put his hand on Emi's shoulder when she stopped and looked away, her eyes suspiciously damp.

Understanding Hawkes said quietly, "The loss of a child is difficult no matter what the circumstances. Time only lets us deal with it, it doesn't really take the pain away." After a pause he added, "I saw her picture in your apartment. She seemed a happy little girl."

Emi smiled wistfully. "Not the time or place doctor but thank you for being kind. Too much to say to explain. Ask Adam another time. He understands and knows how to say it better than I do."

Adam gave her should a slight squeeze and then allowed his hand to drop when she turned grateful eyes to his. Between green eyes and blue Hawkes saw compassion and support flow from one to the other and back again then they both nodded letting the other know, without words, they were appreciated.

Emi sniffed and said, "Anyway, one transposed number, one minor and unintentional mistake … if we … I mean you … _are_ dealing with identical twins then even more caution needs to be taken. Identical twins would show identical DNA reports … but there are other things you can look for. If it were me I would look at facial aging … identical or not life, lifestyles, and behaviors leave marks. Look at skeletal differences, no matter how minute … broken or chipped bones, differences in dental structure, connective tissue differences, evidence of childbirth. Er … sorry, no insult intended." Emi remembered she wasn't dealing with know-nothings. "Really, my apologies, I'm not used to working directly with peers, mostly with students or people that hire me because they don't have staff that can do it in-house. Except for Adam. Adam and I talk the same language."

Hawkes tried really hard not to laugh but he did smile. "I saw. You've known each other for a while."

"Little over three years," Emi said and Adam agreed with a nod.

But Emi suddenly got an alarmed look on her face. "But Adam never told me about cases from here. He didn't …"

Adam got a matching look but Mac startled everyone by walking in and saying, "Relax Dr. O'Ryan. I trust Adam. Besides once a case is solved and or has gone to trial, it is no longer a problem if it is discussed with colleagues. You're a colleague and based on your reputation, your input is valuable."

Emi looked him straight in the eye and Mac got an uncomfortable feeling that she was weighing him. Not for the first time he wondered how others viewed him and somehow what the young woman before him might have heard from Adam was important. She tilted her head and the feeling eased but he got the distinct feeling she hadn't made up her mind.

In a tone that showed she was obviously much more than the happy go lucky girl she'd appeared thus far Emi said to Mac, "I respect Adam a great deal Detective Taylor … both professionally and personally. He's proven time and again to be completely trustworthy. He also … well there have been times when I needed a sounding board and he's never failed to be there for me. I would hate for anyone to use my words against him."

Nodding in a way that let her know her message was received loud and clear Mac told her, "Call me Mac … please. Adam does."

"Very well, and call me Emerald … or … Emi."

Adam had metaphorically been holding his breath. Emi had all but given Mac her seal of approval by telling him he could call her by her shortened name and it was a big deal. Mac might not realize how big a deal it was but he did. She wasn't one to go around expecting people to constantly refer to her by her professional title, most people called her Emerald; however, very few people did she invite to call her Emi. He couldn't help but relax when he realized there wouldn't be a confrontation between Emi and Mac … or any of the others. They might not understand her – very few did – but they accepted her at least as a professional that deserved some respect.

Mac observed that Emi must have sensed something from Adam because she turned to look at him. They once again communicated silently and Adam said, "Boss, we were working on a game plan." He gave a brief outline.

Mac nodded and surprised everyone by telling Adam, "Run with it. Have Hawkes speak with Sid … he'll be able to fill him in on the three weeks he has been out and explain what is needed. For the rest, ask for what you need. I want this to be a priority. I don't like all of the loose ends we still have."

Mac nodded and left the breakroom. Emi stood and said, "And I think I should let that be my clue to leave as well so everyone can get back to work. Nice to meet you again Dr. Hawkes."

"Hawkes is fine … or Sheldon. Either or."

"Thank you. Call me Emi then." Turning to Adam who was beaming at her she said, "Thanks for lunch. I was starving."

"You brought it."

"But with you I didn't have to eat it alone."

She turned to leave but Adam stopped her by asking, "Soup or sandwiches?"

She grinned and said, "I know we've been taking turns but go ahead and let me take your turn tonight. I have a feeling you're going to be dragging when you finally get off work. I'll fix chili and cornbread. We can fix cookies afterwards if you aren't too tired. What kind?"

Adam looked hopeful and pleaded, "Kitchen sink cookies?"

Emi laughed. "Ok, but no eating the dough this time. You'll get sick again."

"It's worth it."

"You say that every time."

"I mean it every time. Uh … Saturday too? The guys were asking."

"Oh brother … you guys are bottomless," she laughed. "Well if you are going to help fix things up the least I can do is feed you. But if your bunch want beer they can bring it. I hate having to dress like a hooker just so they don't card me. 'K?"

"No! Uh … we'll take care of it. Last time …" Adam shuddered remembering some of the comments from his friends. "Don't worry about it. I'll call Jason and he can grab it from his uncle's store on the way over. Todd and I will grill, just do your magic with the sweet stuff … and homemade ice cream?"

Emi snorted. "Sure. And homemade ice cream. Now I'm really going to get going." Another look passed between them and Hawkes had the distinct impression had he not been standing there something more would have happened. But then again maybe not. They were giving off vibes but not the kind that spoke of any physical involvement. Maybe Danny was wrong.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"I'm not wrong," Danny groused at Lindsey.

"I think you are. It has only been a couple of weeks since that whole fiasco with Michelle. C'mon, Adam is a lot of things but a hound is not one of them."

"Yeah but he's had more girls than you might think. Before Michelle … well …"

"Exactly. He and Michelle were serious. I still can't believe what happened. And Adam was obviously grieving over what happened as well. So knock it off already."

"So, you don't think something could happen?"

Lindsey shrugged. "Maybe. But they might be too much alike."

Danny shuddered. "Now that I can agree with. Did you hear the two of 'em talkin'? They sounded like I don't know what."

Hawkes came over and said, "I understood them."

Danny rolled his eyes. "I rest my case."

Hawkes smiled despite the verbal jab and Lindsey smiled after giving Danny a brief dirty look. "Okay, so explain it to me again."

Hawkes gave a very brief overview of their suspicions and said, "I spoke with Sid and he is going to spend the afternoon going over the bodies and the reports."

"Wait … you talked with Sid? He's back?"

Hawkes nodded. "He … he looks drained and washed out but not as badly as I expected to be honest. For the next couple of weeks his job is to strictly supervise the handling of bodies and evidence but he said if his blood work continues to come back the way it has then they'll be able to move from cautiously optimistic to counting the days until remission."

"Oh my god, that's fantastic news!"

"I agree. But he still needs to be careful which means Dr. Johnson or someone like him will be with us for a while yet. _I_ may even sub in, especially for this case."

That's when Adam came jogging up. "I think I found them."

"Found what?" Danny asked shaking his head.

"Them … the women. Sisters. Anyone seen Mac?"

"I dunno … his office maybe?" Danny asked with a grin while pointing through the glass wall.

"Oh. Yeah. Gotta go."

When he left everyone looked at each other but it was Danny who said, "The old Adam looks like he is coming back online. Thank god. The guy that had been using his body was starting to piss me off."

Lindsey elbowed him and said, "Danny!"

"Well, you telling me you didn't want to pop him in the back of the head a few times?"

"That's not the point."

Before the two of them could get going Hawkes said, "Emi obviously knows what she is doing."

Lindsey turned to frown at him. "You think she is manipulating him?"

"No. I think she is healing him. And not in any sexual kind of way. I get the feeling she is returning the favor. Adam let slip that she has no family. And she is still grieving the death of her child; you should have seen the look on her face when the little girls' name came up. Adam's friendship with Emi and her husband pre-dates his relationship with Michelle. My guess is that Adam was there for her and now that the table is turned … because in a very real sense Adam also lost his child and significant other … she is determined to be there for him."

"Fine Sherlock," Danny said sarcastically. "Just don't be surprised if there isn't more to it than that. I'm telling ya I sense some sexual tension." For some reason Danny looked at Lindsey before almost stalking away.

Hawkes was going to pretend he didn't see what just happened and wasn't going to say anything but Lindsey admitted, "Two kids _is_ harder than one. And Luke is not nearly as easy a baby as Lucy was at that age. If I don't get some sleep …"

Hawkes tried not to let a grimace invade his smile. Sometimes his friends tended to over-share their personal lives and it made him uncomfortable. "Babysitter?"

"I wish. You'd figure with all of Danny's family there would be someone but every time I bring it up … never mind. Just tell me about the case."

Hawkes was about to gratefully go in the new direction when he saw Mac and Adam exit the office and come their way. Mac said, "Hawkes, can you please go down and see if you can help expedite the review process with Sid? At least compare the two bodies and get the general physical stats confirmed. Adam found a potential ID for the two women and I want positive ID as quickly as possible. Lindsey, I want you to personally oversee the samples they send up and make sure they are kept completely separate. If a mistake was made before I want to know what it is, who did it, and how it happened. Adam show me the rest of your preliminaries."

When Mac said jump you can bet everyone did … and quickly. When Adam pulled up his screens Mac stopped him for a moment to say, "Good work. Simple answer to a complex question."

Adam shrugged. "It was Emi's idea."

"Your friend is obviously brilliant, I actually placed a few calls to get her credentials in case we have to justify her involvement. However, you are the one who thought to access her knowledge base."

Adam shrugged again but there was a blush creeping up the back of his neck. Mac drove his point home a little deeper. "Adam, do you know why I had to hire a lab supervisor from outside?"

The question caught Adam off guard and he gave Mac a puzzled look. "'Cause no one in-house was qualified."

"Actually several of you were …technically … but," then Mac sighed wondering if what he said would really be understood. "Adam, a supervisor isn't just about his own talents but about how he uses the talents of the people he supervises. Another part of the job is being able to think outside the box without causing the box itself to collapse. When you called on Emi for input, you weren't just talking to your friend because she was a friend and would give you a hand, but as one professional to another."

"I'm nowhere near in Emi's league."

"That's not what she thinks. Have you helped her out with a project in the past?"

"Well … yeah. I guess. It was mostly helping to get a couple of her computer programs to work together better. She kept crashing them. And I got her billing system set up online so that it would itemize the materials she used … from the inventory system I helped her set up. She was way undercharging for her services. She was working like a dog to pay the bills and stay ahead of Reni and Gary's doctor bills."

"Her husband was sick as well?"

"Uh … in a manner of speaking." Quietly Adam revealed, "Gary was adopted from overseas when he was about four years old. They didn't even know how old he really was or his birthday because he'd been found on the street when he was a baby. Then about the time he hit puberty … anyway, he was diagnosed with an acute personality disorder. The adoptive parents couldn't handle it, from what I understand Gary was really out of control at that point. They turned him over to the State. That's where Emi met him. They lived in the same group home."

"I take it there is a lot more to that story."

"Yeah, but it isn't my story to tell. Just when Emi … anyway because Gary was going to lose Reni she … uh … they got married. And Emi adopted Reni and is the only mother she ever had. Gary was a mess because Felicia … that's Reni's bio mom … anyway Emi just took it on herself to take care of Gary and Reni for her own reasons. But that meant a lot of sacrifices on her part. Gary helped when he could … at least in the beginning … but he … had started to deteriorate after I'd known both of them for about a year. I suspect he was always worse than Emi let on but that's just how she is."

Mac nodded, having suspected something out of the ordinary based on the few facts Jo had been able to discover through her contacts. "Thank you for confiding in me. But back to what I was saying … a good supervisor knows how to bring out the talents of those he is supervising. He does what it takes to get the job done. You have potential Adam, you just need to develop it. You took a big step in that direction today and I want you to know that I see that. In fact I want you to know that I see that you haven't allowed your recent private troubles impact your work ethic. I've seen other men … and women … allow that to happen with disastrous results. I'm proud of you. And I like Emi as well."

Adam just blinked. "Uh …"

"Now show me what you've got."

Adam's head was spinning. And to be honest he wasn't quite sure whether Mac was referring to him personally or to the case. But after a moment he decided it didn't matter, he was going to take it as both and do exactly as Mac asked.


	16. Chapter 16

_Note: Once again I would like to thank everyone for reading. Any comments or critiques are both welcome and encouraged. I want to say a special thank you to smuffly, debbie8668, and catty … thanks for reading and following._

 **Chapter 16**

Adam trudged wearily up the stairs and then down the hall in the dark to his apartment. His footsteps were muffled by the ancient carpet on the floor which gave off a musty, depressing smell now that he was in the mood to notice it. He shivered and almost stopped at Emi's door but then remembered he'd called her earlier to tell her he couldn't make it for dinner. She'd be asleep of course. It was too late to visit no matter how he wanted to talk to her … about her visit to the lab, how several people had stopped by to ask about her, how she'd brightened his day. But once the case started rolling there just wasn't anyway to stop until the trail grew cold and they needed to stop and regroup. And now it was too late to bother her.

With Sid and Hawkes both working over the bodies and the reports it didn't take long to untangle what had happened. The two bodies had come into the lab at different times but had been tagged at the same time and the identification numbers were only one digit different. Someone in the morgue got sloppy and one of the numbers had been overwritten rather than double checked. To say Sid was not happy was an understatement and Mac got involved because Hawkes was worried about Sid's health as he had gotten progressively paler as the problem had been uncovered. Sid was taking it very personally.

In addition to that Kendall was getting written up. The original mistake made down in the morgue wasn't her fault, it was not reporting and correcting the mistake when she discovered it that she was getting in trouble for. She'd known for a couple of days there was an error. Mac called Adam into the office – he'd really thought _he_ was going to get in trouble – and explained what had happened and then told him not to worry about it.

"I do worry about it," Adam had responded. "If the mistake had been found ... or reported … earlier it might have helped us to ID the vics sooner. Just because they don't have any family doesn't mean they don't deserve the same curtesy as if they did. And we gotta figure out a way this doesn't happen again."

Mac arched his eyebrow but nodded with a small smile playing upon his lips. It took the entire walk back to his work station for him to conclude that it had been a test. Mac wanted to see what his reaction would be. Weird. Then again, Mac was always doing things to try and get his team members to improve. Maybe Mac was just prodding him the way he had that afternoon.

Unknown to Adam it was actually more than that. After they discovered where the mistake had occurred and how it had been made worse Jo had a long and frank discussion with Mac. "Is there any proof that her failure to report her findings was intentional?"

Mac looked sardonically at Jo and said, "No one was holding a gun to her head to make her keep her mouth closed."

Jo sighed, "You know what I mean."

"Actually I don't. It sounds like you are insinuating something without actually saying it."

Pinching her lips she nodded. "I haven't forgotten the recent trouble with IAB. Now this, which could have reflected poorly on Adam. Given Kendall's previous behavior and …" She went on to tell him of her and Lindsey's suspicions.

Mac looked thoughtful. "Anything is possible but without proof I cannot act on it."

"We can warn Adam to watch his back."

"No. We can't."

Stunned Jo asked, "Why forever not?!"

"Because …" Mac stopped and ordered his thoughts. "Because Adam needs to learn. I'll keep an eye on things but Adam needs to grow. He's capable of it. I think he hides a great deal of his talent. Seeing him with Dr. O'Ryan reminded me of a few reasons I hired him in the first place."

"But?"

"One of Adam's greatest gifts is his empathy and compassion for others … but it also makes him vulnerable. He handles everything very privately which I applaud but there are times that you need to be able to be publicly … confrontational with others should the need arise. I need to see if he can stretch himself to do that and then handle the inevitable consequences of it."

"You want him for the next Lab Supervisor opening when Montague retires. I thought you wanted to cross train him for the field."

"I want both. Jo, our profession is changing. Look at the recent uptick in CSI departments dedicated solely to internet crime … or crimes that start on the internet. We need to have people that are savvy in multiple areas of expertise, not just in the basic nuts and bolts of the grunt work we do in the field." At a look from her he said, "No, I don't think basic investigative techniques will ever completely disappear – they're too necessary – but look at all of the new tools that are now available to us. Because he is tech savvy Adam is a good fit for the future of this lab if he'll just … just …"

"Harden up?" Jo asked, saddened by the idea.

Mac winced. "Perhaps but I was more referring to how he interacts with people. Ignoring a problem will not make it go away."

"And now you are referring to Kendall."

"Yes. I've tried to give him time, give them both time. Kendall is very talented and intuitive in many areas. And she's fast. But this dogged competition with Adam and Adam's dogged refusal to compete … it is compromising the efficiency of the lab. They either need to learn to get along or one of them is going. I would prefer for Adam to come out the victor here but I have higher responsibilities and can't allow my personal likes and dislikes be the sole arbiter of my choices."

It was after his discussion with Jo that Mac called Adam to his office. Mac was satisfied with the progress being made … on the case and Adam's professional growth. But once Adam returned to his work station he became lost in the facts and figures of the case putting Mac and his expectations and Kendall's problem out of his mind.

The two women were indeed sisters and they were indeed identical twins. There the similarities ended however. Orphaned young by parents that preferred high adventure to responsibility, they were raised by their maternal grandparents. One twin became the dutiful-daughter stereotype and the other spun her life out in the opposite direction. By the time they turned twenty-eight the only thing the two had in common beyond their twinness was their yearly pilgrimage to the city to visit their parents' graves and do a little shopping. Both grandparents had passed on, neither woman was in a serious relationship, one sister was between jobs, and the other was on sabbatical. It wasn't until the landlord of one of the sisters realized he hadn't received the rent owed that the police became notified of a possible missing person … and after that the realization that both twins were missing. Well they weren't missing anymore but thus far they hadn't been able to find anything in the background of either sister that would indicate why someone would have such a rage against them.

Adam still felt it was personal and had something to do with a broken heart. He had no facts to support his feelings so he kept it to himself. He just couldn't get over how carelessly the heart of one of the sisters had been tossed aside. And the hearts of both of them had been ripped out. Maybe a metaphorical act.

Adam opened his apartment door quietly, not because he had to but because it was late and he was a considerate neighbor. He stepped inside, kicked off his shoes and hung his book bag on the hook Emi had screwed into the wall. He debated just falling across his bed but then realized he was too hungry to sleep just yet. He reached over and flipped the light switch on. What met his eyes when they'd adjusted made him shout, "What the hell?!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Emi was woken from a rare sound sleep by her door being banged on. "Emi! Emi!"

Recognizing Adam's voice she ran and opened the door. He roughly pushed her back, followed her in, then slammed the door leaning against it. As Emi's sleep-fogged mind was still trying to assimilate what was happening Adam slowly slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor. Emi kneeled down beside him not understanding why he had his eyes squeezed shut.

"Adam?' she quietly tried to get his attention as she brushed his forehead with her hand.

"She's in there."

"Who is in where?"

"Her. I came home from work and she was just in there. In the bed. How did she get in?!"

Adam was shaking. Emi did the only thing she knew to do, she leaned forward to hug him. But she misjudged and startled Adam who threw out his arm. The back of his hand connected with Emi's temple and she lost her balance and fell sideways.

Adam was horrified by what he had done, accidental or not. "Oh my God. Emi! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not like him! I'm not!"

Emi still didn't know what was going on but she knew one of them had to remain calm and it looked like it was going to have to be her this time even though she had almost grabbed something and popped him back with it. Gary had started to hit and she'd had to defend herself more than once. He'd always been sorry afterwards too but that didn't stop it from happening again. She was tougher than she looked. The group home hadn't been an easy place to survive in; the rules were only enforced when an adult was around and half the time not even then. She'd had to learn to be survive quickly. She'd had also had to learn how to deal with Gary's outbursts when they began to turn physical. But she'd never expected to have to deal with something like this from Adam.

"Ok. But clue me in on who you are talking about will you? And if you pop me again, accident or not, I'll return the favor."

Adam grabbed his head and kept scooting away every time she tried to get closer. "My … my father. Jesus Emi. Tell me I didn't hurt you. Tell me … please …"

Wondering if Adam had had a nightmare she told him carefully, "See for yourself."

"No!" He nearly shouted. Then more quietly he said, "No. Not until … not until I've got it under control."

Emi shook her head. "Your control is just fine. You're just discombobulated or something. Did you have a dream?"

"I wish," Adam growled startling Emi but not enough that she let it show. "She's in my apartment. In my bed. She says she misses me. She says she made a mistake, that she can't stop thinking about me and what we had and what we could have had … that she wants to try and have it again."

Emi's mind blanked for a moment then she stood up. She started walking out of the door. Adam tried to grab her leg but she slipped away having had to avoid that tactic before when Gary used it. Emi despised comparing the two men as if they had similarities but at the moment that is exactly what was happening and she was, by all that was holy, going to find out why.

Down the hall Emi walked wearing nothing but a pair of garish socks – her apartment was perpetually cold as it was always in shadow of the building next door – and a long t-shirt that said "Geek is the new sexy." When she neared Adam's door she heard crying. She was almost afraid of what she would find but slowly and cautiously pushed the door open.

Emi blanched. God she was still gorgeous and sweet looking even pregnant and tear-stained with a glob of snot on her upper lip. "Michelle."

"Oh Emerald … Adam … something is wrong with him. He … he yelled at me. He … he threw a glass at the wall!"

Deciding she was not feeling at all sympathetic Emi said, "Duh, what did you expect?"

"Ex … excuse me?"

"You trashed his heart Michelle. Absolutely tore it to shreds. And you think he's just going to act like nothing happened?!"

"I didn't know the baby wasn't his. I swear I didn't."

"So? What about the rest of it … are you still conflicted or not? This back and forth isn't healthy for either one of you."

Michelle was aghast. "He … he told you?"

"All of it."

"All of it?" she asked further horrified.

"Yeah, the drunken one night stand, you being conflicted and only coming back because you discovered you were knocked up … alllll of it."

"He only told you his side I'm sure," she said as the tears dried up. "I didn't mean to hurt him. You just don't know what I've been through."

"Geez Michelle, it is what you've both been through. Or are you forgetting that Adam took you back, no questions asked and stood by you when he could have said it was your problem? I'm sorry the father of your baby isn't Adam but that's no excuse to treat him like you did. Where _is_ the baby's father?"

Michelle looked away. "He … he doesn't believe that the baby is his and wants his own paternity test."

"So give it to him. Or are you afraid he isn't the father either."

"I beg your pardon?!"

"Oh get a grip. Under the circumstances it is a reasonable question. The next reasonable question is why are you here?"

Defensively Michelle snapped, "Why are _you_ here?!"

"Because Adam is upset and you've driven him out of his apartment and he needed a place to go. And if I'm going to help you two then I need to see for myself what is going on."

"We don't need your help. And I didn't drive him out of his apartment, this is _our_ apartment."

"Wrong. You moved out. Again. I never thought to ask your father and brother about keys. I'll take responsibility for that lapse in commonsense. But I'm asking now. Where are the keys? You don't need them anymore."

"Don't you tell me …"

"I am telling you Michelle. And I'm trying to do it as a friend. Whether you and Adam get back together or not, this is not the way to do it. You gotta stop messing with him. It is his turn to be conflicted. You made your wishes crystal clear in that letter, you have no right to come charging back into his life like this. Like you can just wave a magic wand and it will all disappear like it never happened. Doing this is no way to resolve whatever conflict you have going on."

"We'll work it out."

"Not if by 'working it out' you mean you are going to try and manipulate Adam's emotions. Here's the reality Michelle whether you can deal with it right now or not. Through your own chosen actions you are pregnant by a man that is not Adam. And apparently you just found out that the baby's bio-dad isn't too sure he wants what he helped to create. That's a mess sure enough. But beyond that you have a problem with the responsibilities Adam has at his job. News flash, he's not going to change jobs … or at least not change careers. He has worked too hard to get where he is at. Adam's job isn't just something he does to bring in a paycheck, it is a very real part of who he is, a way for him to express his intelligence and talents, a way to use up the energy that sometimes rides him like a demon. To change any of that would mean he would have to fundamentally change his nature. You can't ask him to do that … it isn't right … especially not when the baby isn't even his."

Michelle flinched.

"I know you are probably scared and finding out just what the definition of alone is but you've still got your family to lean on. And you have this baby live for … assuming you are going to keep it. If you can't handle that part of it give the child up for adoption. A baby doesn't deserve to be thought of as a complication in life or a conflict making their mother unhappy."

"Hah! You can't have any idea what I'm going through."

"Maybe, maybe not … but what I do know is you have more than I did when I became Reni's mother." Emi saw the words form on Michelle's tongue but with a growled warning the words never blossomed into fruition. And a good thing as well; there were few things that could make Emi as furious as to have someone insinuate that just because she hadn't been Reni's biological mother that she was no mother to the little girl at all.

Emi told her, "Get dressed. Go home. I'll call you a taxi so you don't have to take the bus. Or you can call someone to pick you up. Either way you need to get gone before you create more of a situation than you already have."

It took an hour but Emi packed Michelle up and sent her on her way; easier than it might have been because she hadn't even unpacked the suitcase she had brought which said a lot in Emi's experience. Her father had come to pick her up. He said a couple of nasty things about Adam but Emi snapped, "I'd watch the picture you're painting if I were you. Your daughter was the huzzy that tried to sneak back into Adam's bed, not the other way around. Whatever her problem is she needs to deal with it before trying to win Adam back. She … never mind. Just don't let her do this again."

"Where is the man child?"

Emi almost let fly again but for Adam's sake she remained calm. "Man? Yes. Child? No. If he was a child he wouldn't be able to control how angry he is at what your daughter has done. Now get lost and get her some help. Being this distraught isn't good for her or the baby. Can't be good for your blood pressure either to see her acting like this."

Emi shut the apartment building's door in his face and walked back to the stairwell to climb back to her floor but she did it with the keys to Adam's apartment in her hands. She hadn't enjoyed doing what she did but at least she was satisfied that she'd done all that she could until she got the rest of Adam's side of things.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Emi opened her door and found Adam in roughly the same place she'd left him … sitting on the floor with his head down. She wanted more than anything to run to him and hug him until he felt better but she was worried that it would only handicap him. She'd made that mistake with Gary; it hadn't helped him and she was pretty sure it wouldn't help Adam either. Instead she stood a little off from him and said, "She's gone. Now will you tell me what in the frick happened?"

"She came back."

"And now she's gone. It's a mess but … that's not what some of this is about."

Wincing and still refusing to look at her Adam admitted, "No."

"Then clue me in. We can't fix it if you keep it bottled up."

"There's nothing you can do. This is mine to fix or fail alone."

"Uh … no it's not."

He glanced up and she nearly gasped at the despair in his eyes. "Yes it is. I can't be like him. I can't. I won't."

Slowly Emi sat beside him in such a way he couldn't really move off because of how small and crowded things were. "Your father? You're worried about being like him?"

"I'm … I'm so angry Emi. All the time. I keep catching myself but … Oh God, swear to me I didn't hurt you."

"I offered to let you look for yourself earlier but you still haven't taken me up on it."

Cautiously Adam reached out and brushed the curls away from her temple. "See? No bruise," she told him.

Adam's whole posture changed and Emi being Emi couldn't stand it anymore and reached for him. "You need to stop worrying about being angry. I've been worried you weren't angry."

Adam slowly and carefully leaned into her embrace. "Anger is bad."

"Anger is not bad … it has its place and usefulness just like every other emotion and you know it. You just don't want to make the same mistakes as your father and I can understand that. Totally understand it. But Adam … you aren't your father. You're going to make your own mistakes, not repeat his. As far as … as hitting and stuff like that … you won't do that either. At least not in anger at someone that is under your protection."

"After what I did how do you know that?!"

"Because I know you. I've witnessed how you normally react to things. Right now you are just going through some heavy grief. You remember what I did. I tore the bathroom apart just because I dropped the bottle of shampoo I used to wash Reni's hair with and it shattered in the tub. They don't make that scent anymore and I'll … I'll never get it back. It was broken beyond fixing and it all ran down the drain. I nearly clunked you in the head with the shower rod, would have if you hadn't ducked. But you never tried to hit me back. Not once. You weren't rough with me at all. You held me, let me cry which is what I really needed to do, and put the bathroom back together after I'd cried myself to sleep." She pulled him closer and he let her. "Tell me Adam. Explain it."

Slowly and sadly the words came. "My dad could be fine one second and a raging out of control the next. The littlest thing would set him off. That's how I've been feeling. I'll be fine … then suddenly I feel like exploding. I can't stand this."

"Oh Adam," she said in relief. She ran her fingers through his hair and said, "Cut yourself some slack. Just because Michelle and the baby aren't literally dead and buried doesn't mean you aren't grieving all the same. There's stages to grieving, you're stuck in the anger stage right now."

"I don't want to be stuck in the anger stage. I don't want to feel like this. I'm … I'm afraid I might hurt someone. I yelled at Michelle. I threw a glass … just like my dad. I never did that before, not even when she left the first time. What is wrong with me?!"

"Nothing is wrong with you that's what you are refusing to see. You've done nothing wrong. Michelle has some unresolved issues. She went about trying to resolve them the wrong way … the first time _and_ this time. You may not have done everything right after she came back but you did mostly everything right. What she did tonight was out of fear. She's scared Adam, but not of you."

"Tell me what to do Emi."

Emi sighed. "You know me, you know I could. You know I want to say a thing or three, give you advice, try and plead with you and have my way. Boss and push you around because I'm capable of doing that too when I want something badly enough. But … but I'm not going to. It's not right. I enjoy that you let me need you to need me Adam but I'm your friend before everything else I feel … and telling you what I want you to do just isn't right. You need to do what you want to do."

"I don't know what I want," he said in frustration. Then more quietly he added, "But I know what I don't want."

"And that would be?"

"I don't want to get back with Michelle. I don't. Not anymore. She … she broke what we had. We … we might've worked it out but she didn't give me a chance. It doesn't feel like … it doesn't feel the same with her anymore. Not because the baby isn't mine – though that hurts – but because _she_ isn't the mine anymore. She used to make me feel great … even when I felt lousy. But now the thought of being with her makes me feel sick … and lousy every other way too. Which probably makes me a lousy person all around. I mean she's pregnant and alone and …"

"She's not alone, she has a huge family. Her father is the one who picked her up and it didn't take much for me to get her to call him so in her heart she knows regardless of the circumstances she _can_ call him. I'd give a lot if I still had my Da … I know I could call him no matter what and he'd come get me too. Michael was no slouch when it came to rescuing me either. Let Michelle call on her father and brother, that's what family is supposed to be for."

"I … I guess."

"It's not that I wish her misery because I don't. I just don't want _you_ to be miserable," she continued still brushing his hair with her fingers. "You deserve the chance to get over this and find your way before life throws its next bit of misery at you."

"That is not a happy thought Emi."

Realizing that Adam was finally calming down she responded, "No but it's the truth as I've experienced it. And it is the only way we learn to be better … stronger … more … something or other. My Da used to try and explain all these things to me when I was a kid. I wasn't ready to understand then but he still told me. I'm glad … and I'm glad I remembered his words. Because frankly I've needed them. Life sucks. The only way I've found to make it suck less is find people that need me and that recognize that I need them to need me too. It hasn't always worked out but I figure I have to be doing something right if God sent you my way."

Adam sat up and stared through bloodshot eyes. "What?"

In her embarrassment for having revealed something so personal Emi's Irish lilt became more pronounced. "Oh and don't be acting like you don't know what I mean Adam Ross. God did too send you to me. I didn't know why, didn't recognize that I'd need you when you first arrived in my life but … now I do, so you're stuck with me. Got it?"

Adam slowly put a smile on his face but it was a painful process. "Go it. And for the record … you're stuck with me too. I can't imagine getting through this without you. Can you … can you wait for me to do more than that until I've … until I've got my head on straighter? I'm too messed up right now to do it right … treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

"Oh Adam, whatever comes next, it's all good as long as you're here, whatever that means."

"Emi …"

"No," she said firmly. "Just let it lie Adam. I won't go anyplace. Ever. I'll be whatever you need me to be … friend … or more … or less, just in the background of things. But I can't … can't try and build myself … fantasies. I lived on fantasies too long. Then had it explode in messy high definition all over my life. Just let me need you to need me, we'll figure out the rest as we need to … if we need to."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Adam eventually fell asleep in Emi's apartment. He was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Emi wasn't exhausted enough despite the temptation of sharing her bed with him. She'd lied … there were things she wanted from him but she was his friend first and her Da's words and other life lessons warned her that what she wanted wasn't always what was best so she kept her mouth shut. But temptation was temptation and climbing in a bed with him was just too much of one under the circumstances. Neither she nor Adam needed that kind of complication right now.

She'd quietly made breakfast so he could sleep and then woken him up to eat while she went to grab him some clothes. "No," he told her. "I gotta face what happened. If … if you can … don't mind I mean …"

Trying to make his obvious unease less stressful for them both she said, "Then if you want to go change and shower I'll pack your breakfast up. Maybe you should take the subway today. The radio was already calling for gridlock and rain in a couple of hours."

Adam scrubbed his face trying to wake up. "Yeah, maybe I better."

"Want some company? At least part of the way? I've got a meeting first thing."

Adam gave a sheepish grin in relief that what had happened hadn't put any distance between them. "Yeah. I'll be right back."

Two hours later Adam was ensconced at his work station fantasizing about large, black cups of coffee, so strong and thick they could stir themselves. He hadn't been there long when Kendall slipped in and asked, "Rough night Romeo?"

"Drop it Kendall. Today is not a good day to mess with me."

"Why? Didn't you get any last night?"

The pencil Adam had been bouncing in his hand broke with a snap when he clinched his fist, stabbing the leaded end into his palm. "Dammit … go ride your broom someplace else Kendall. I haven't got time for your crap right now." Adam left her standing there with her mouth open on another verbal barb as he went in search of a first aid kit. What he found instead was Jo.

"Oh Honey, what happened?!"

"Me happened. And a pencil. And the pencil's lead."

"Here, let me help you with that. Is the lead still in there?"

"No. It didn't go deep, I just need to clean it out, and keep it from bleeding all over everything. I've got it."

"I'm sure you could have it but you're going to let me help anyway."

When she poured on the Southern charm Adam just gave way, it was easier than arguing with her.

"Now are you going to tell me how this really happened?" Jo almost lost her composure when she saw that the lead had dug into his palm on the edge of cigarette burn scars that would never completely fade. "I saw Kendall."

Adam tensed then shrugged it off. "Don't worry about it Jo. I'm a big boy, I can take it."

"Of course you can Sugar. The problem is you shouldn't have to."

"I know that but if she is ragging on me she leaves other people alone. It's not that big a deal. And the lab needs her. She's good at her job."

Surprised by his response Jo nodded, "Yes, she's talented. But talent is no excuse for other failings."

Adam surprised her once again by saying, "It isn't all her fault. This job can be depressing and she's not a very happy person to begin with. She doesn't get much validation from her family. As talented as Kendall is, all her sibs and the rest of her family is the same way. Doctors, lawyers, bank presidents, high paid and powerful this, thats, and the others. She loves her job but gets looked down on for working in the lab and because she's not exactly pulling in a huge paycheck. And then when she didn't get the lab super's job like she expected you can bet she heard about it at home. She's also angry about why she didn't get it."

"Adam? Do I want to know how you know all of this?"

Adam grinned a little sheepishly and said, "Kendall isn't the only one that can read lips."

Jo looked so surprised that Adam started blushing and trying to take off but Jo had him by the wrist and held on tight. "Oh no you don't. You little …"

The words were rough but the tone was playful so Adam stopped being alarmed and grinned repentantly … or tried to. "It's why I sit with my back to the door and try not to scope out the hallway and stuff. Most of the time it is just accidental … I'll catch a word here and there. Some I can't read at all … when you start really slinging the southern accent it's nearly impossible for me to understand what you're saying. Danny wipes his mouth a lot because he is hiding a grin or noticing he forgot to shave again. You don't have to read Lindsey's lips to see what she is talking about because her face gives it all away; she's got eye rolling and the mom-stare down to a science. When Mac is angry his lips barely move. Hawkes is pretty easy but he moves so much that I can only see one word in three. Mostly I have to do it with the other lab techs. They get kinda busy and … er …"

"And?"

"I warn them sometimes … if say Mac is running hot or if priorities are getting out of order. It also helps me avoid the worst of the pranks."

"Why you naughty, naughty man," Jo said with a conspiratorial grin and light laugh.

Alarmed Adam shook his head. "I don't mean to be. It's just when Kendall said she could do it I wanted to see if I could. Anyone can learn, it wasn't that hard to teach myself."

Jo chuckled. "Don't worry about it Honey. And I'll keep your secret. You're not doing it maliciously."

Adam didn't know whether to shake his head or nod, either way he got the message. He wouldn't have used it against other people either way but this just gave him more motivation not to give into temptation.

"Uh … thanks for the help Jo," Adam said as she taped down the band-aid. She had used a small, flesh covered one so it wouldn't draw attention. Emi would have mummified his hand and then headed off to mummify Kendall from the head down.

"Not a problem."

Adam headed back to his work space while Jo thoughtfully headed to hers. Adam was a puzzle. A pleasant puzzle but a puzzle all the same. Jo loved people … people watching, talking to people, interacting with people, you name it. Adam had disturbed her by how standoffish he was. She'd put it down to her replacing Stella whom he had apparently developed a rapport with. She still thought that was what had happened in the beginning but now she wondered if maybe she hadn't been missing just how deep he ran.

From her days in undercover work she knew that throwing people off the scent or getting them to regularly underestimate you was either a talent or it took a lot of practice. She didn't think that Adam was being devious intentionally … or at least not with ill intent. That meant it took practice which means given what she did know of his background, it may very well have been much worse than he had thus far let slip. Putting two and two together Jo mused that, "Well Mr. Adam Ross, it appears you will bear closer watching. You have hidden talents and I intend to start ferreting them out."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"Hard day at black rock?" Danny asked after seeing Adam all but asleep in a chair in the break room during his lunch.

Adam forced himself fully awake and asked, "Huh? What does that mean anyway?"

"Beats me. My ol' man used to say it all the time. It just looks like you could use a little bit of shut eye."

"Probably not as badly as you and Lindsey."

"What?" Danny asked wondering if Lindsey had unloaded something behind his back.

"Luke. He's keeping you guys up."

"Yeah. Kid is a porker and isn't happy most of the time unless he's got something shoved in his mouth. Ma said I was the same way and laughed. Said I was getting what was due me."

Grinning Adam said, "Bet Lindsey isn't laughing." Danny frowned and Adam almost shut down while saying, "Sorry. None of my business."

Danny's face cleared up and said, "Hey … no … I … you're right. Forget my bad mood. Just getting a babysitter ain't working out right now. My ma is having to help my sister out with her kids. I can't ask her to do the same for mine. She ain't as young as she used to be no matter what she thinks and she's still getting over the last cold she caught from my sister's baby. Oh hey … uh …"

Adam realized that Danny had started to worry about talking about kids. Adam also realized that for the first time he didn't feel like his heart was breaking when he heard about other people's kids. That had to be progress. Right?

Sighing he told Danny, "Thanks but don't worry about it. I'm dealing with it. But let's talk about something else. Ok?"

"Sure buddy. So what're you doing with your super duper, freebie, paid day off Saturday? Geez, I can't believe they're closing the lab for the whole day."

"They're closing the whole building for the day," Adam reminded him. "They found those rats up on the 40th and then found evidence they've been using the ventilation ducts as their super highway. They need to fumigate the entire building at the same time or they'll just keep moving from floor to floor."

"Yeah, Lindsey won't even eat in anymore. It don't break my heart to stop for a slice during the day but my wallet ain't too happy. We were going to take the kids someplace but I think we'll just pack a lunch and hit a park or something."

"I bet the kids will love it which will make Lindsey happy. I'm getting together with some of the guys. We're going to help Emi out with her grandmother's old place. Her uncle's ex-wife remarried so she has to be out of the house – it is in a life estate – and it is being turned back over to Emi and it's a mess."

What Danny would have said to that was cut off by the sight of Sid Hammerback walking down the hall. Both men got up went up to him. "Sid!"

"Hail fellows well met!"

Danny's reaction to the greeting was comical while Adam just grinned and said, "Thanks Sid for figuring out the problem yesterday."

"Ah yes … you threw down the gauntlet and I picked it up."

Danny shook his head, "Doc? You feelin' okay?"

Sid chuckled. "I'm fine. Merely pleased to be back at work with my fellow crusaders and perhaps a bit … hmmm … enthused about it. Now, was there anything else I can do for you gentleman? If not I really do need to deliver something to Mac post haste."

Both Danny and Adam stepped back so he could continue down the hallway. He was a little more bent, a little grayer, a little slower but he was undoubtedly still Sid in all his wonderful oddness. Giving each other a nod Danny and Adam parted as well.

In Mac's office, Sid gratefully sat down in the chair that Mac offered.

"How are you feeling? And don't give me the same bluster you give everyone else. Tell me how you're really feeling."

Dropping the excessively exuberant façade he had tenaciously tacked in place before leaving home that morning he said, "I take it Jo said something." Mac nodded.

"I'm taking every day as it comes," Sid finally answered. "There's good days and bad and I now understand in a very concrete way why some people chose not to continue treatment regardless of the additional time it could grant them. However, it appears that my treatment has been successful; we are just waiting to see how successful. Whether it is a temporary reprieve or perhaps it means remission. As I've said to others, the lab reports give me reason to be cautiously optimistic."

"Christine and I are thinking of you. You know if you need anything …"

"And I thank you. I got everyone's cards and flowers but … it takes more energy to do things these days but I will respond individually."

"Don't worry about it, all that matters is that we do what we can to help 'cautiously optimistic' to turn confidently optimistic. Now, you said you had something for me."

"I do indeed. Upon reexamination I can say definitively that one of the sisters gave birth; there were parturition pits on the pubic bone, and an episiotomy scar where you would expect to find one under those circumstances. I cannot say with absolute certainty, but I also suspect it was a private or homebirth."

"What makes you say that?"

Sid frowned. "OB/Gyns and trained midwives … regardless of where the woman gives birth … show a level of professionalism of care that … well the episiotomy is quite frankly a hack job. I don't know any truly responsible caregiver that would have provided such a low level repair. Even a severe infection wouldn't have left that kind of scar tissue. There's also evidence of possibly other irregularities in care as well. However some of the damage done during the assault means I cannot definitely confirm my suspicions."

"So you're sure that an assault did take place in addition to what was done post mortem."

Sid allowed Mac to see how angry he was. "Mac, if I had gotten to the bodies as soon as they were brought in I could tell you more but even with refrigeration, anything that I find now will doubtless be considered inconclusive. Not to mention the body was washed prior to a rape kit being performed. That was an amateur mistake."

"Are you saying that Dr. Johnson is unfit and compromised the case?"

"It wasn't him. Things were apparently so backed up that Johnson called for another set of hands. The hands that arrived was a resident that had no training in what he was being asked to do. Johnson assumed the city would send over a qualified individual and was unaware of the problem. I have him going over every other case the young man handled that day. Thus far we've found two other glaring errors but nothing concerning a criminal investigation."

"Thank God for small favors." Mac steepled his fingers. "Have we been able to identify which body belongs to which sister?"

"No. What medical records we've received concerning each sister state that either one was ever pregnant. That's another that leads me to believe the birth was … irregular. And I'm waiting on dental records but thus far haven't located any for them. What I can tell you is that if both victims were held under the same conditions that the body at the park was likely the first to expire."

"How did you determine that?"

"Microscopic examination of the tissue around where the heart should have been. The area where the tissue was torn was minutely more decayed than on the other victim's body. She didn't expire much sooner but I would say she was definitely the first to die. If I find anything further I will let you know."

As Sid left his office Mac picked up the phone and called Don Flack. Now that they'd ID'd the victims, they needed to try and ID which body was which sister. Hopefully the discovery of a birth would aid in this investigation."

Adam had made his own discoveries. Surfing through the sisters' social media footprint he found that both sisters had stopped using their accounts at approximately the same time … and this time was about two months prior to their disappearance. They'd deleted as much of their online presence as they could but Adam knew how to dig things out that people tried to bury.

What he found was that the more flamboyant sister appeared to have an admirer. At first she'd played along and even encouraged him or her but then the admirer had started insinuating that they knew who she really was. At that point that sister tried to block him (or her) without much luck. It appeared that even getting him/her banned from various online communities didn't completely prevent what had turned into online stalking and demands for them to meet face to face in the meat world. There was something alluded to by the stalker but it was never openly named. It was after a particularly vitriolic exchange full of threats that both sisters dropped offline. Adam was in the process of trying to determine the identity of the stalker but whoever they were, they were shrewder and practiced at avoiding discovery than the sisters were.

Adam decided to go further back along the timeline to see if he could catch a break. Sometime after eight o'clock Mac walked in and ordered, "Go home Adam."

Adam jumped a mile and yanked the lone earbud he was wearing out. "Huh?"

Mac shook his head. "Go home. You're asleep on your feet. Not to mention I just passed the reception area and there is a young woman in there that we both recognize fighting sleep as much as you are."

"Wait. What?! Is it Emi? Why …" Mac didn't get to hear the rest of the question as Adam had shot off down the hallway. He completely missed the knowing looks that were thrown his way by several of the lab techs who were sealing the lab up for the fumigation that was to start sometime between midnight and one.

Adam skidded to a halt at the entrance of the small seating area used for people who were waiting to see Mac or sometimes Jo. He spotted what Mac had been talking about and walked over and bent down by her side before whispering, "Emi. Hey … Emi."

A piercing green eye soon examined him. She opened the other eye, sat up and grimaced as she did so. She was stiff and sore having slid awkwardly down into the chair as she'd lost the battle not to fall asleep.

"Sorry," she muttered in a sleep-deprived slur.

"Is anything wrong?"

"Just waiting to see if you needed me to bring you something to eat." Guiltily she added, "I should have brought you some lunch but I got held up at the lawyer's office."

While many men would have become irritated at the idea they couldn't take care of their own needs Adam ignored the unintended slur and asked, "Got everything straight?"

"Most of it. Standard stuff. Family trust. I'm the sole surviving beneficiary trustee yada yada blah blah blah. But we've got a problem."

"Tomorrow a no go?"

"No. In fact I hope your friends aren't going to kill me if I ask them if they can stay all day. If they can't I'll deal but the help would be appreciated and I'll find a way to pay them back. I got a call from Mrs. Hofstetter down the hall. Surprise, surprise; the building owner sold us out. No one's lease is being renewed and in fact they are willing to buy us out to get everyone gone by the middle of next month."

Adam had known the possibilities. Real estate in NYC could be cut-throat. He'd even been through it all before at his last place. He just hadn't been paying any attention this time.

"Oh crap."

"Maybe. I just hope you aren't going to hate my idea."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Adam didn't pitch a fit like she expected. He simply said, "Let's go home and talk about it."

"Ok," she agreed so quickly that he grinned and said, "Don't hurt something."

"Smarty pants."

"I gotta get my stuff," Adam told her. "Wanna grab a bite to eat on the way?"

"Nuh uh. I've still got the chili we didn't eat last night. Unless you want something different?"

"Sounds perfect."

As it sometimes went, Adam and Emi hardly spoke on the way back to their building. It's not that they were angry with each other or anything negative at all. Anyone else would have thought they were upset simply because most people couldn't conceive of them ever not talking but the truth of the matter is that they ground each other and their habit of nervous chatter simply isn't necessary because they didn't normally need that emotional outlet when it was just the two of them.

What did bother Emi was that the subway was crowded with people heading home or out to party on a Friday night. If you've never been short you don't realize how uncomfortable it is to be in a crowd of people that are all taller than you are. It is like being surrounded by a dense forest of trees you can neither see around or over. It is almost claustrophobic. Adam is average height at 5'9". Mac is the same height as he … which made him shorter than Danny's 5'10" and Don's 6'2" … but Mac always seemed like the tallest of them all; or at least he was in Adam's mind.

There were no empty seats so the two of them stood swaying in time to the track they passed over. Emi finally took refuge from the constant pushing and shoving by standing as close to Adam as she dared. She looked up to apologize but he pulled her closer and she finally let herself lean against him to keep her balance. He bent down just enough to whisper in her ear, "Better?"

All she could do was swallow and nod her head. Adam pulled her a little tighter still and then held her there with one arm while he held onto a support pole with his other one. Emi refused to think about it … she simply enjoyed it while she had it. When it was their stop to get off Adam protected her from the rush of people and helped her to stay upright as they headed up and then out onto the busy street.

Their building was still a fair walk but they accomplished it while holding hands. As they came in sight of their stoop Emi slowed. "Adam? What's happening?"

"Let's talk about it inside. Okay?"

She nodded willing to trust him a bit more.

When they reached their floor he asked, "Yours or mine?"

"The food is at mine but if you'd rather …"

Adam looked at her door and then his and said, "Yours. I … I still haven't …"

Emi realized that his place would still be a bit of a mess from the previous night's misadventure. "Oh. Why don't I …"

"No. It's my responsibility Emi. Besides I need you to know I was serious about what I said to you. Especially now."

"Especially ... ?"

Adam nodded and then turned her and gently pushed her in the direction of her door and said he'd be right back, he wanted to change out of his work clothes and drop his stuff off.

Emi watched as Adam squared his shoulders and headed to his own door. He put the key in the lock and went inside shutting the door behind him. That broke the spell and Emi's only thought was, "Oh crap. You _will_ be a good girl Emi. You will _be_ a good girl Emi. You will be a _good girl_. It might feel like it is killing you but you will be good."

It was about twenty minutes later that there was a knock on the door and through the peephole Emi saw Adam and when she opened the door found he had two cold beers in his hand. "You mind? Your chili just always makes me need two." he asked.

"Have I ever minded before?"

"No but still ..."

Emi grinned and shook her head. Ever since Adam found out she had zero tolerance for alcohol in her system he'd stopped offering it to her. Emi was completely useless after just half a beer and a total menace to everyone and everything around her after anything stronger. It had something to do with her metabolism. She snickered and said, "Just don't except me to take any sips. Remember what happened that time you tried to teach me to dance. You limped for three days."

Adam grinned not denying it. "Next time we'll try it without a glass of wine to loosen you up."

"There'll be a next time?"

Adam grinned bashfully and said, "I'd … I'd like there to be."

The only answer he got was Emi's blush which made Adam's grin more self-assured with a tinge of male satisfaction to it.

Chili was soon heated and served. Adam had cornbread on the side and Emi had hers in the bowl with the chili poured on top. Adam had cheese, emi added a dollop of sour cream and they both had onions. Then Adam had a second bowl finishing off the pot so there wouldn't be any leftovers to worry about.

Emi was running out of patience causing her to get jittery. Adam sensed she was struggling to not bring it up, waiting on him to lead the conversation so that's what he did.

"The notice from the Supe was taped to the inside of my door."

"Mine too," Emi said.

"You said you had a plan."

"Uh … well …" Now that it was time to have their talk Emi was terribly nervous and the color kept coming and going in her face. "Look Adam I don't want to mess anything up and …" She stopped herself because she could feel the real need to rattle and say nothing taking over. She was scared and was trying to hide it.

Adam stood up from the table and walked them over to the sofa. "You ok sitting here?"

Emi held her breath and then nodded though it wasn't a real confident nod. Adam was careful to not crowd her. When nervous Emi could be unpredictable and he didn't want to spoil this chance.

"You still thinking about selling your grandmother's house?"

She slowly answered, "I … I'm not sure anymore. The house is all paid for … Gran always refused to take a 2nd mortgage out on it even though she could have used the money. The neighborhood isn't what it used to be but it isn't bad. Some of the families that were there when my grandmother was alive still live there. And housing everywhere will eat up whatever profit I make. It kinda makes more sense to … uh …"

"To what?"

Emi tensed up before whispering, "To live there myself. No way will I find another apartment so close to … uhhh …"

"To work?"

"No."

"Then what?"

Emi looked away and didn't answer. Adam said, "Ok, how's this? I don't want to be separated from you either. I need you Emi. Whatever it is you do to help me keep my head straight, I need it … more than that I want it. Are you ok with that?"

"Of course I am," she answered quickly and belligerently. "I already told you I need you to need me, that it just does it for me."

Hiding his own nervousness in a way he rarely was able to with other people he told her, "Good. Because if your idea is … and I'm going out on a limb here Emi so don't get mad if I'm wrong … because if your idea is for me to live with you in your grandmother's house my answer is yes."

Emi jerked around and yelped, "You will?!"

Adam grinned and said, "Yes." Then he became serious and cautious. "But I've got a couple of conditions."

"Con … conditions?"

"Yeah. I've already admitted I'm a mess. I admit that I might even be a bigger mess than I know. Last night proves that. Which also proves I'm … I'm not ready for anything more than to keep trying to keep my head on straight long enough that it becomes a habit and then the real deal. It doesn't matter what I want, what matters is how things really are."

"O … okay," Emi responded trying to maintain her equanimity.

"Condition number one is … we have separate bedrooms." Emi's eyes were huge and Adam had a hard time not falling into them. He caught himself in time and explained, "When … if … we take it there we both need to know it is the real deal and not just because we're afraid of being alone. Do you understand? It would be real easy for me to seduce you right now and I'm pretty sure you would let me. But we have to wake up the next day and live the rest of our lives with the changes that would bring. Let's make sure if it happens that we're ready for it."

"Now you listen here Adam Ross, I'm not some easy girl that will just fall all over you and …"

Adam's grin was very male. "Emi, I haven't forgotten the feel of you in my arms or what we did to each other. Sometimes I felt so damn guilty after Michelle came back but other times it was one of the few things that made me feel like I could keep going when things got so hard. I'm sorry I treated you like …"

"Hush that noise. We were and are both adults."

"Yes we are … which brings me to my next condition. I pay my way."

"Huh?"

"Emi, you know what I mean."

"I will not take rent from you! Don't you even … even … grrr … you great big … grrr …"

Adam grinned. "Okay, then you're going to have to let me figure out another way to work it out. A man needs to have some pride Emi. People are going to talk enough about me being a kept man. Plus you have credentials I'll never be able to touch."

"If I hear even one person open their know-nothing trap I'll keep _them_ … down in a dark and nasty dungeon someplace. I'll … I'll …"

This time Adam actually laughed. "I won't let it bother me so long as I know it isn't true. If it is true then it will bother me."

"You make my head hurt with that crazy talk. If I don't have to pay rent then you don't have to."

"Then like I said, we'll work something else out. The what and the how aren't so important right, only that it is what happens. Can you agree to that?"

"Oh all right, be that way. Lord knows my mother used to go on and on about the pitfalls women had to avoid when it came to male pride. I never understood, Da always seemed so reasonable. Maybe Ma just knew how to handle him or something."

Adam didn't care how she rationalized it, only that she agreed to his conditions.

"So what else?"

His smile faltered. "We … we go slow and careful. I … I don't want to lose you Emi. Not short term." He swallowed then added, "Not long term."

"I don't want to lose you either. I already told you I'll accept whatever you can give."

Adam reached out and briefly touched one of her curls. "You shouldn't have to settle Emi. I don't want you to settle. But I need to see … need to see …"

"If you can trust me?"

"No! If you can trust me!" Adam shook his head. "I'm messed up right now Emi and I'm … I'm learning things about myself. Some things are turning out to be okay. And some … they scare the hell out of me." He closed his eyes and added, "And I have my father to think of. He doesn't have anyone else. He lives in the past when he isn't just plain confused about everything. And he's starting to have trouble getting around. He fell twice last month and now they're confining him to a wheelchair most of the time. That day he ran off and I found him at the precinct was probably the last time he'll ever be able to do something like that. It's also the last time he's even come close to recognizing me. I'm … I've come to accept I don't … don't love him like a son should love his father … but if I'm going to have any self-respect I can't just walk away from him either … not when he's in this condition. He's frail … fragile … mentally and now physically. He keeps looking for my mom like he's worried something has happened to her. If only he'd been like that with her when she was alive. Even if it had just been once. She probably could have lived her whole life on the happiness that one time would have brought her. If for no other reason I have to do this for my mom … in her memory. I gotta prove to myself … things I need to prove."

Emi relaxed. Yeah all of this was coming fast and was a big deal but she knew the man sitting beside her. She'd seen him struggle and overcome some very difficult things over the last three years, many of them stemming at least in part from his childhood experiences. He'd seen the same in her and the fact that most of it stemmed from her own shattered childhood and her personal issues. And he did have a previous responsibility to the man that had fathered him. If that's what it took for him to prove to himself he was a different man than his sire then so be it.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Emi didn't even make it down the stairs of the porch of the old house before the huge platter of cookies was taken from her hands. All she could do was shake her head as each guy took three or four as they made their way over to the folding table out in the postage stamp size side yard. How on earth it was possible for them to eat so much was beyond her, she'd been full after one burger. She didn't even bother trying to eat the homemade ice cream or cookies.

Adam wandered over dribbling crumbs from the third Kitchen Sink Cookie he'd eaten and asked concerned, "You sure you don't want one? Feeling ok? You didn't eat much."

She smiled and shook her head. "I'm full." Reassured by her smile Adam ran back to the rest of his friends who had some kind of ridiculous bet over the game that was being played on the radio. She turned to go back inside when an older model convertible pulled up to the curb, the passengers slightly hesitant before the driver jumped out and came over to the gate.

"I thought I recognized that disaster Adam drives. It looks like you have a circus going on."

Danny looked like he was trying to fake his way through just dropping by unannounced when he spotted Emi's t-shirt. "Ha!"

The t-shirt was black – she needed something that wouldn't show dirt – and read "Bacteria, the only culture some people have."

Emi smiled, trying to put the unexpected visitor at ease since he was Adam's friend, though she was terribly curious as to how he just showed up. "You know that saying 'Not my circus, not my monkeys?'"

"Yeah."

"These are my monkeys."

Danny smiled and then became even more nervous. "Well ... Linds and I … we better get …"

"Oh stop dancing and come in if you want. Bring Lindsey and the kids too. I'll go wade into the circus and grab some cookies for you and tell Adam you're here."

"You sure it isn't a problem?"

Emi just rolled her eyes. For some reason Danny reminded her of the boys that her brother had been friends with; all snouts and tails and nothing but wiggle between the two.

Danny went back to his car and Emi went over to save some cookies … which caused the rest of them to try and snag as many off the tray as they could hold including shoving at least one in their mouths. "Honestly," Emi muttered under her breath. Then she bent over and whispered to Adam, "Danny and Lindsey are here with the kids."

Adam popped up and started looking around. "What? Why?"

"I don't know, they're your friends. Try asking them."

"How did they even know …"

"Different question, same answer," she told him sarcastically. When he turned to give her a mock glare she laughed and skipped out of reach with the rescued cookies.

By that time Danny and Lindsey were at the gate. "Go invite them in while I get paper plates. Maybe they haven't eaten yet. It's not like there isn't a mountain of leftovers."

Emi was washing a small plastic cup for Lucy when Lindsey stuck her head in the back door in the kitchen. "Oh hey … uh …"

Emi turned to look and realized it didn't take all of her IQ points to figure out what was needed. "There's a rocker in the parlor, curtains on the windows, and the guys never even accidentally go in there because of all the knick knacks and frou frou on every surface. Adam took one look and retreated saying that room was mine to clean."

"Oh God … thank you," she said as she juggled Luke, his diaper bag and tried to hold Lucy who was looking mutinous.

"If Lucy wants she can help me mix some more cookie dough. I have a feeling that all the monkeys in the yard are going to want more before the day is over. They're like bottomless pits."

Lucy groused, "That's what Lukey is … a bottomless pit."

Emi laughed, "Boys are like that. And here's a warning … it never changes even after they grow up. There aren't enough cookies on the planet to feed them all til they are full."

Completely disgruntled the little girl said, "That's just great. So he's never going to shut up?"

"Lucille Messer!" Lindsey said in her best mom voice.

Emi looked on in sympathy. "Seriously Lindsey, we won't leave the kitchen. This way the sooner his tank is topped off the sooner you can rest."

Lindsey was desperate and took her up on the offer. Emi and Lucy stared at each other for a moment before Emi told her, "Pull that chair over and help me dump the ingredients into this bowl."

"I can't pull that chair, it's too big."

"You wanna make cookies or you wanna complain about what you can't do?"

Lucy finally pulled the chair over and stood up on it. Emi handed her the ingredients that needed to be mixed. "Ok, the basic dough is already mixed now we just need to add the rest of this stuff … everything but the kitchen sink."

Lucy didn't look too sure at first but as she saw that she really was being allowed to pour the ingredients without an adult hovering over her she became excited. When Danny stuck his own head in the kitchen she squealed, "Look Daddy, I'm making cookies … they've got everything but the kitchen sink in them!"

"That's my girl!" Over Lucy's head Danny looked a question. Emi nodded her head towards the parlor. He went to check on them and came back. "Uh … they're both out. You mind if … er …"

"You know you are just about as silly as Adam. Of course Lindsey can rest for a bit. I remember what it was like." Danny saw a sadness in her eyes she tried to hide but couldn't quite pull it off. "Lucy can help make this batch of cookies and then I think there are some crayons around here or … or I have a box with some dolls in it if she's inclined."

"You sure?"

Emi just looked at Lucy and made a face at her that said her daddy didn't listen very well did he. It made Lucy laugh. Danny nodded in thanks and went back out with the guys.

Three hours later Lindsey came stumbling out of the parlor looking around anxiously. Lindsey was emptying a box onto the table and trying to determine what was for keeping and what was for donating to the church's rummage sale.

"Where's …?"

"Lucy crashed about an hour ago and is on a cot in the back bedroom. There's nothing in there that can hurt her because it has already been stripped of everything but the curtains. Danny has been checking on her. Danny is with the guys making some god-awful mess at the side of the house. You may have to spray him off before you take him home. The goober. Adam told him to just relax and listen to the games but of course he couldn't … he had to go and get filthy right along with the rest of them. Men. Honestly."

Lindsey looked at Emi and finally relaxed. "How do you and Adam do that?"

"Do what?"

"Just … I don't know. I should be embarrassed but I'm not."

Emi snorted. "If you needed embarrassing trust me I'm the girl to do it but you don't so there's no reason for you to feel like you should. You feel better?"

"Yes," Lindsey said and it was completely heartfelt.

"Wanna cookie? Lucy and I managed to save a few from the thundering hoard."

As Lucy ate a cookie she asked, "So this was your grandmother's home? We had stopped to say hello to Danny's uncle when he spotted Adam's car."

Well that explained that Emi thought. She answered with a nod and then added, "After she died my uncle lived here with his kids until he also died. After that my cousins' mother moved in to take care of the kids that were still underage. They're all grown and moved away now and a couple of weeks ago she remarried and it ended the life estate my uncle had set up for her." Frowning slightly Emi said, "Uh … if I get TMI just tell me to shut up. Talking isn't anything I have problems with in case you haven't noticed yet. Adam and I can use up the oxygen in a room when we both get going at the same time."

Lindsey smiled and then laughed. "It's fine. It's just nice to see Adam … back to being Adam."

Emi glanced out the window to see where the man in question was before telling Lindsey. "He was and always is Adam. Just he isn't always the Adam people expect him to be."

"Are you saying he isn't okay?"

"Would you be if you lost a child?"

That brought Lindsey up short. "I … but …"

Explaining Emi revealed, "Adam really considered the child his. He was so into the whole oh-my-god-I'm-going-to-be-a-father thing. I don't know how he was at work but every place else I saw him it was like watching him fall in love for the first time. And he wanted it all … all that it represented. And he loved Michelle despite the problems they encountered."

"Does he still love her?"

Troubled Emi shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know if even he is sure one way or the other. And I'm not going to guess for him. But he's saying he doesn't want to be with her and the decision seems to be bringing him some … some closure. But the baby is still a sore subject that we haven't talked about too much in depth. Right now he's got a lot on his plate just dealing with the way things happened. It is going to take time."

"But you and he are …?"

"Wow," Emi said shocked she'd come right out ask.

Lindsey gave a rueful grin and said, "You don't ask, you don't get. People …"

Surmising Emi said, "Are talking?"

"Yeah."

"Is it a problem? Am I causing problems for Adam at work?"

"No. Don't even think that."

At least willing to give the answer to that concern the benefit of the doubt Emi nodded and relaxed a bit. "First and foremost Adam is my friend. Regardless of what things might look like from outside that's where they stand, where we both stand. We're very close, for a lot of reasons, but we both have stuff we're dealing with. Gary and Reni haven't been gone a year and there's moments I have a hard time dealing with that and how it happened. And Adam has a lot of responsibilities himself. I don't want to interfere with any of that but he's done so much for me that I'm determined to be there for him if or when he needs me. If … if anyone asks … just tell them that. But don't tell Adam." Looking at Lindsey from the corner of her eyes she said, "It makes him kinda squirrely to be the topic of conversation … any conversation. It makes him feel pressured whether it is intended or not and what Michelle did has shaken his pride and self-confidence. But don't tell him I said that either. He doesn't need that thought reinforced."

Lindsey nodded in understanding. Danny chose that moment to stick his head around the door and both women yelped.

* * *

Emi continued to mutter and roll her eyes as she put away what she'd pulled out but hadn't gotten around to. Adam was smiling. "It's just paint."

"Just paint he says," the Irish lilt fairly pronounced. "Just paint. I spent an hour hosing all of you hairy men off and I bet you still find paint in places you never expected to find it. I don't even want to know whose bright idea it was to build a paint can shaker using parts from the old lawn mower in the shed."

"The paint really did need stirring Emi. It was a good idea. We just didn't take into account that it might shake the can hard enough to pop the lid off."

"Uh huh. Suuuurrrrreeeee. Mr. Morrissey nearly had a coronary from laughing so hard. He and his wife were friends of Gran's you know. And a good thing too or I have a feeling Mrs. Morrissey would have had something to say about her poodle suddenly turning Oregano Spice Green."

Adam knew that Emi wasn't really mad, she just needed to grouse about it for a bit. She and Lindsey had laughed as hard as any of them while they'd been trying to catch the dog before it got paint everywhere it ran. Danny had gotten a face full of paint and he had looked like a moldy raccoon when he'd taken his glasses off. It had been a good day.

"My next day off I'll add some more cameras to the security system. There are a couple of spots the ones we did today don't cover. I'll pick them up at …"

"Adam …"

He turned and Emi ran face first into a non-negotiable. "You're really going to … grrrr."

"I'm really going to …. Grrr," he said back at her with a smile that said he knew he was going to have his way so she might as well give it up.

"Men," Emi muttered not for the first time.

* * *

The next day at work Adam came in with a smile on his face and when he spotted Danny both men broke down laughing. Lindsey, watching from her desk rolled her eyes but smiled as well. It had been both a good day _and_ a good night in the Messer household.

That was the last smile of the day however. Another body had been found.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

For the next three weeks a body a week was discovered. It took a concerted effort to keep the lid on the fact there was a serial killer at large. The number of people involved in the case was being limited and while it was inevitable that leaks would occur, no effort was spared to put that off as long as possible as well as making sure that once the leak was found jobs would be forfeit. The toll on the team was just as great … CSIs to lab rats … but not all for the same reason. Some were simply angry about all of the extra work and pressure while others were taking the lack of hard evidence concerning the identity of the killer very personally. Then before the end of the third week there was a fourth body.

Sid Hammerback took off his gloves after the autopsy, leaving the clean up to his support staff. From there he slowly made his way over to his office and to the phone on his desk.

In Mac's office the phone rang. "Taylor."

"Mac? It's Sid. Same killer but this time there's a difference. The woman didn't give birth but from the condition of the uterus appears to have had a miscarriage."

"Time frame?"

"No more than two month ago. And signs that point that the likely cause was an STD. There's scaring and evidence of treatment which could have come either before or after the miscarriage. I sent swabs to the lab to confirm but in my professional opinion there is no current infection present. I'll need to see the victim's medical records for confirmation. Do you have a name yet?"

"Adam and Flack both came back with a Tina Hughes, reported missing by her parents a week ago, who do not appear to know that she was pregnant. Ms. Hughes is from Jersey City but lived with a cousin in the city. Flack and Jamie are on their way over to both locations now."

"The worst part of this job," Sid mutters. Then getting back to the point of his call he says, "Yes, that fits with the timeline. She's been dead roughly forty-eight hours with evidence on the body of antemortem torture that took place at least twenty-four hours before that, and some that was perimortem. While her face was damaged, it wasn't cut away as the other victims were. The cause of death was shock and blood loss, probably from when the chest cavity was opened."

"So she was aware of what was happening to her," Mac said in disgust.

Sid's sigh echoed up the phone line. "Aware? I can't confirm that. Given the severity of the other injuries it is more likely that she was unconscious for the final act. However, alive at the time the procedure started? I would say yes."

"Dammit," Mac growled. "You said there were differences. What besides the miscarriage?"

"Well, as Hawkes reported, this young woman wasn't positioned, simply tossed near a dumpster. On the other hand, psychologically, that could be considered positioning depending upon the intent behind the location chosen. I can also say that she wasn't assaulted sexually."

After a few more questions Mac hung up the phone and called his team in. When they were all seated he asked, "Where's Adam?"

Danny shook his head. "Lookin' like he wants to throw one of them computers of his across the room."

Jo made a face. "Apparently he's cobbled together something to get more speed out of something or other … or at least I think that is what he was mumbling. He's going over all the security footage we've been able to gather from the various locations the women were each in the day they disappeared and is trying to find any common denominators in the backgrounds … similar vehicles, he's running facial recognition software, trying to determine if any of them have been at the same place, do they have anything else in common. I don't know what is going to start smoking first, those computers or his hair. You've got to talk to him Mac. He's becoming obsessed with this case for some reason."

Before Mac could reply Lindsey grimaced and said, "I called Emi."

Danny looked at her and said, "You did what?!"

"Well someone needed to do something," she said defensively. "Adam is really upset and acting out of character."

Mac surprised everyone by being the first to ask, "So what did she say?"

Frustrated Lindsey shook her head. "She said that Adam hasn't discussed the case with her and she refuses to ask because she doesn't want him to get in trouble or think we're talking about him behind his back. But still, I think she knows something. Mac, tell him to talk to her."

Mac looked incredulous. "I can't do that."

Jo thought about it for a moment then said, "It would depend what he was talking to her about." Once she had Mac's attention she explained, "You already told Adam that Emerald is a colleague. She in fact even assisted with identifying the first victims. Ask him if he thought it would be beneficial to bring in a pair of eyes from outside to perhaps see the victims, or even the entire case itself, from a different angle. Either way that might not be a bad idea and Emi is experienced in studying serial killers. Her doctoral thesis was on a possible case of a serial that she discovered while working on an archaeological dig in a cemetery outside of Philadelphia … the site had been thought to be a mass grave of smallpox victims but wound up being something more sinister. The Turcell case was also a high profile case and my contacts state she's got a mouth like a steel vault when she wants to."

The other team members just looked at each other and then back at Mac. It was Danny who admitted, "Might not be a bad idea. She knows her stuff. She volunteered to watch Lucy and Luke so Lindsey and I could catch a movie. She did this whole portrait series of Lucy and … damn, they're museum quality. One time we were over Adam showed us her workroom. I've never seen anything like it. She had about four what she calls projects going all at once. Each one had its own corner. The one she had worked on that day is what sent her out of the house to get some air. It was a reconstruction of a child's skeleton. The history museum wanted it to be as life like as possible. The age of the skeleton had been misjudged. Turns out she found a kid missing since the 1920s."

Intrigued Mac asked, "Are you talking about the case that was just in the newspapers? All it said was that Syracuse University discovered it."

Danny snorted. "Adam says that Emi has to be careful about getting her name in the newspapers. When she was on the Turcell case she got some death threats. They kept it quiet because she was still in the middle of testifying but from what I understand that is why she doesn't really do criminal cases … at least not current high profile ones. If she does play objective observer for us we'll need to make sure that she does it anonymously. Every once in a while when the Turcell case comes up she gets a few letters."

Before he could change his mind Mac walked out of the situation room to hunt Adam down.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"You sure you have time for this Emi?" Adam asked, hesitant now that she had actually arrived at the lab.

"I'm between projects and I'm going a little nuts. I'm waiting for the museum to decide which skulls they want me to work on next and a grant I expected to be a part of has been put on indefinite hold pending further review by the Trust that is funding it. I just don't want you to be disappointed if I don't find anything to add. You and your team are really thorough and a criminal case is different than what I've been doing the last few years."

Adam relaxed. He'd felt pressured from the moment that Mac had asked him to speak to Emi. He wasn't happy about mixing his private life with his work life, at least not where Emi was concerned even if they did work in the same field. And part of him wondered if the team wasn't satisfied with the work he had been doing or thought that he wasn't capable of the work that needed doing. He admitted to himself if to no one else that his pride had been wounded. But he couldn't feel that way anymore while Emi looked so unsure of herself. She was never unsure of herself professionally. He needed to make sure that the fact that she did wasn't his fault.

"I don't think it is about you finding anything new but taking what we have found and making sure we aren't arranging the facts to fit our theories instead of taking the facts and seeing if they fit our theories."

Emi nodded. "So show me what you want me to work with."

One of the evidence labs had been set aside for this purpose and after Adam led her there he said, "I've got to go analyze the newest footage that came in. Are you going to be ok here by yourself?"

Emi was already putting on gloves and answered him with a wordless nod. Adam recognized the look, she was immersing herself in a project. He'd need to remind her to eat because she tended to forget if she wasn't fixing a meal for someone else. That's why he had made sure he was the one to pack their lunches today. Now he would just need to remember that he had her to think about and he couldn't work through his lunch break either.

The boxes of evidence were grouped by victim. Three hours later Emi became aware that she was being watched. She turned and found Sheldon Hawkes looking at what she'd done with complete fascination. Seeing that she had stepped back he addressed her directly. "This is fascinating. I know I've been over every bit of this evidence myself multiple times but this is something different. The grouping of the evidence is … it's like a display."

Emi shrugged. "This is how I think. Adam says I rebuild people in my head before I reconstruct the bodies. That's about the closest thing to an explanation that I've been able to come up with."

"Have you spotted anything?"

"I'm not sure if it is necessarily anything because the points have been made in the reports already but maybe I'm just seeing it differently. I don't just see bones and biological trace and bits of evidence; I see personalities, life experiences … things that really put the flesh on a reconstruction for me." Hawkes encouraged her to continue with an enquiring glance.

"All of these women were single and in their twenties. All of them have been pregnant except for one of the first victims and that discrepancy could very well be due to mistaken identity – mistaking one twin for the other – as it is apparently the two sisters still haven't been distinguished from each other yet. The last victim was pregnant but miscarried. So just like your team I strongly suspect pregnancy has a great deal to do with the killer's motivation to choose these particular victims. But there are other commonalities … and differences … that may play a part as well. The first five victims all have middle to upper middle class backgrounds. This last victim was from a wealthy family background though I wouldn't call her one of the most well connected … she was at the very least used to running in certain circles even if it was just as a tagalong. All of the victims except for the twin that was pregnant had excellent prenatal care according to their health records, the twin is the one that stands out. All of the victims except for one of the twins led lifestyles that were … I'll use Adam's word and call them flamboyant since it is politer than what you could call it. They were all very pretty women, talented in their field, intelligent … just they liked to party. Having a child would really have changed things in terms of their normal operating procedures. I see tons more information about each of these women and it gives me a pretty good idea of who they were in life. But there's one thing I don't see here … where are the babies? I've looked in all of the reports and none of them mention a child after the birth – or miscarriage."

"Excuse me?"

"Where is the information about what happened to the babies? We know about the miscarriage but what about the others?"

Hawkes flipped through all of the report summaries and then said a quiet, "Damn." He grabbed his phone and took off out of the lab. Emi turned back to continue examining the victims lives to try and build a more complete picture of each victim, hoping to add additional insight, but she really needed to know what happened to the babies.

A few minutes into this frustrated musing and she too left the lab but didn't go far as she needed to ask Adam something. Instead she ran into interference from Kendell Novak. "Excuse me but outsiders aren't allowed in this area."

The word outsider was obviously chosen with vindictive intent. Kendall wanted a reaction but Emi, being stubborn to put it mildly, decided she wasn't going to give her one. Emi shrugged and pulled out her phone but then Kendall said, "No personal phone calls either. You wouldn't want to get Adam in trouble would you? People are already talking."

Emi was never at her best when dealing with intentionally difficult people but Kendall was right; she needed to step lightly to prevent her personal proclivities reflecting badly on Adam. But she was starting to get very irritated which was never the smartest thing to do given Emi's talent for causing (and being in) trouble.

Emi grabbed a write on/wipe off tablet and wrote, "Got a sec? It's about the case." Then she walked away from Kendall before she verbally slammed her and held the tablet up to the glass wall where Adam was working. It took her a moment to get his attention and even when she did it took him a moment to refocus enough to answer her. Just enough time for Kendall to make another snide remark in response to Adam's motioning that he would be with her as soon as he finished what he was doing. "Obviously you aren't quite as important as you think you are."

Emi snapped, "I would say the same is definitely true of you as well … likely truer." She knew she'd hit the mark when she got figuratively hit by the twin deathrays masquerading as Kendall's eyes. To forestall the attack she knew was coming she pulled a fact out of the air that had come to her a couple of days ago when Adam let slip how irritated he was becoming at the woman.

She asked Kendall, "Any connection to a Keith Novak at NYU?"

Caught off guard Kendall answered, "He's my cousin."

Emi nodded. "His grades are at best borderline for his graduate school application to be considered. His reputation is that of a sloppy student and frat boy, and one that undoubtedly pays others to do most of his work for him. I've heard the rumor that his father has donated a good sum of money to the university and the expectation will be that Keith gets handled with kid gloves." Kendall's face had blanked and then become cautious. That's when Emi hit her between the eyes. "Here's the way it is going to work. If you don't get off my case and out of my way, if you don't leave Adam alone and stop your ridiculous pogrom against him, I will do whatever it takes to keep Keith out of medical school regardless of where he applies. I can do it too, I have more connections than you know and I'm not afraid to use them. And as he gets rejection letter after rejection letter I'm going to make sure he and his father know that the only reason I bothered with the arrogant puppy at all is because of you. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Kendall looked into Emi's face and saw cold green ice where her eyes had been a moment earlier. For the first time Kendall realized Adam had more friends than the ones in this lab and that it might behoove her to back up and rethink her strategy where he was concerned. She said none of this aloud however but looked at Emi and gave a brief nod before turning on her heels and walking off down the hall. In her mind it wasn't a retreat but a re-strategizing. She wasn't defeated but she was temporarily stymied and for now that was enough for Emi.

Adam finally came out of the lab and asked, "What's up? Need me to do something?"

Emi, still not in the best frame of mind, snapped, "You're not my errand boy and I resent that you think I'd treat you like that."

Adam blinked and said, "Whoa … no need to flame me."

Emi struggled to pull back her anger … this time at herself. Finally she blanched. "Sorry," she muttered. "That was … uncalled for."

"You … uh … ok? The case getting to you?"

"It hasn't had time to affect me that way."

"Then … is it … me?"

Emi sighed and decided honesty was best. "No … and yes. It's been a while since I had to work in this kind of environment and on something this important. And it's been a while since I've had to work this closely with this many people. These aren't just any people either … this is your place, and these people are your friends. I don't want to mess up. I keep waiting for the next disaster to find me and have it cause problems for you."

"You aren't going to cause problems. Mac was the one that wanted you to look at things."

Emi sighed. "Yeah. I get that … it was Mac, not you. And I'm sorry Adam they made you do something you didn't want to. I don't know what I did to make your boss think …"

"Hey! That's … that's not what I meant."

Emi just looked at him and they both knew that he never would have discussed the case with her if Mac hadn't brought it up. A little sadly, though she tried to hide it, Emi said, "I didn't mean to bother you I just was wondering if your whosiwhatsit things could cross reference something or if you already had."

"Whosiwhatsit?"

Emi grimaced. "Ok, not professional. Sorry. Geez I'm really out of practice here."

"Emi I was just …" He was going to stay goofing with you but Emi didn't give him a chance to finish.

"I'm sorry Adam. I'll try and not act like I'm brain damaged and embarrass you in front of the others." He opened his mouth to say something but she just kept plowing through. "Pregnancy has something to do with the case. It appears to be fairly agreed upon by all of your investigators. So far I don't see a connection between the victims yet. We don't even know where, if any, the first victim got prenatal care but we know where the other victims got it. We know they all went to different clinics but maybe there is a commonality in doctors, clinical staff, geez maybe their billing service, cleaning crews, or insurance providers? Have you got anything like that up yet?"

Trying not to hurt her feelings Adam said, "We've already thought of that. It was one of the first things we checked."

Emi's shoulders slumped and said, "So much for this supposed high IQ I have. Guess it is true that if you don't use it you lose it."

She turned to go back to the physical evidence when Mac walked up. "Babies," he said.

Both Adam and Emi blinked at him wondering what his non sequitur meant. "Emi, Hawkes told me you were asking why there was no mention of the babies when all of them would be old enough by now that they should have warranted some mention. That was a good question and Hawkes found the answer." Mac arched his eyebrow and said, "They were given up for adoption."

Emi stood perfectly still but the wheels of her mind was were turning as if supercharged. After a moment of stunned silence Adam ran back to his computer and hopped into the chair so hard he had to grab the desk to keep from sliding across the room.

Emi muttered, "Jo. I need to talk to Jo." Then she stumbled down the hall towards Jo's office. Mac looked at her bemused for a moment before joining Adam who was clicking the keyboard in front of him furiously.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"I can't produce results if I don't have the right input data," Adam grumbled to himself, unaware that Mac had followed him.

He jumped a mile though when Mac's hand came down on his shoulder. "You have it now so show me what you can do with it."

Typing faster than anyone else in the lab Adam started surfing the databases at his disposal looking for connections. "All of the adoptions were legal … and were handled by the same law office that … yeah … it specializes in adoptions." The information was flying across the screens so fast Mac's eyes never had the chance to catch it, it was easier to just let Adam tell him. "There have been a few complaints to the New York Bar Association but … yeah … it looks like it was more about a woman backing out of the adoption process than it was about the services provided by the law firm. Wow, that happens a lot."

"What happens a lot Adam?" Mac asked only semi-patiently since the screens were more of a blur than anything else. There were days that Adam's energy made Mac feel old.

"Huh? Oh, women changing their minds and wanting to keep the kid or change their minds about who they want to adopt the kid. Looks like some of these adoption agencies act like an auction service and the bio-mom basically sells her baby to the highest bidder. I thought that was against the law."

"Yes, the laws have been rewritten to try and better regulate the practice but it still happens unfortunately. Is there a way to determine who these young women were looking at to adopt their child before they settled on who it went to?"

"A baby isn't an 'it' Boss."

Giving Adam a slightly surprised nod Mac responded, "A figure of speech Adam, but your point is well made. Let's see who else may be as sensitive to it as you are."

Mentally Adam cringed, this case was already hard enough, he didn't need Mac thinking he couldn't control his emotions. "That would all be covered by a confidentiality agreement and won't be online. This way it looks a bio-mother could potentially go through hundreds of applicants before selecting one."

"Then it looks like it is Detective Flack's turn to take a run over to that law office. "

After Mac left his work space Adam looked at the clock and realized it was after lunch. Time to go dig Emi out of whatever she was into. Walking over to that part of the lab he spotted Kendall smiling and talking with some of the other lab rats. It wasn't that unusual, it was only Adam that she had a problem with, in every other way she was a well-respected member of the staff.

He didn't think anything of it until Kendall walked away but the other lab techs continued to talk. "I heard they're just friends so why should he?"

"C'mon, you know he has the hots for Kendall. That thing with what's her name looks like it was just a blip on the screen."

"I don't know about that, they always look pretty cosy. But now she's practically hanging on every word Dr. Hawkes is saying. I don't want to see Adam hurt again, he's barely over the last time. You've seen him."

"Yeah but Adam is just a lab tech and Dr. Hawkes is … well he's a doctor like she is. You think she'd settle for a tech when she's got a doc dangling after her?"

Adam's head suddenly felt like it was on fire. He brushed passed the two women and stomped off towards the evidence lab. His jaw and fists were both clinched tight. He was about to slam through the door when he got a look at Emi and stopped. It wasn't just Hawkes in there with her but another man, one of the IAB investigators he remembered from the hospital.

Emi had her professional face on. The one she used when she was topped off and uncomfortable. She kept taking minute steps backwards but the man kept crowding her. He knew the signs, she was very close to exploding. The problem was he didn't know whether going in there was a good idea, whether it would make whatever was happening worse or not.

He didn't have to decide. The man from IAB walked out and nearly into him. "Ross."

Adam just nodded because he couldn't remember the man's name.

"Come to fraternize with your friend Emerald?"

"We're at work. Here she's _Dr. O'Ryan_ ," Adam told him, emphasizing Emi's professional title. "Detective Taylor wanted her expertise on some aspects of the victimology. I just acted as a gopher to get it done."

The man looked surprised and then shrugged. "Maybe so. She's not anything like I expected her to be based on her reputation."

Adam remained silent. Either way a response apparently wasn't expected from a lowly lab tech and the man sauntered away in search of new prey.

Emi had been watching for his departure. She all but ran up to Adam and demanded, "Get … me … out … of … here. I don't care where we go. I don't care what we do. Just get me some air that isn't fouled by nasty bureaucratic toadies. I am this close Adam … this close to doing something that … that …"

Adam had seen Emi angry before but not in this type of setting. But he'd seen the mess she could make so he took her arm and got her down the hall and into the elevator. Instead of going down however they went up to one of the empty floors that was in the process of being remodeled.

When they got off Emi was still so angry all she could do was stomp around and growl. "How dare that little twerp … he isn't fit to lick the inside of your hockey skates. He … he … grrrrrrrrr. And to insinuate that … oh my god I swear I am going to kill that wench. I warned her … I warned her. She can't say I didn't because I did."

Adam started having a good idea of "her" was but he still had to ask. "Uh … Emi …"

Only Emi wasn't in a listening mood. If anger could be a color there would be volcanic red steam exiting every pore on Emi's body. Adam finally got in front of her and put his arms around her to hold in her one place. That didn't help, it only made her stand still. "No one … I mean no one … is going to use me as a weapon against you. I am going to destroy that bitch and her family. I'm …"

"Emi! Enough! You're probably talking about Kendall but this isn't the time for a vendetta."

"What?! Do you realize what she did?!"

"I sounds like she is the tattle that tried to get me in trouble with IAB a couple of weeks back. It didn't' work then and it doesn't look like it worked this time. Don't give her the kind of ammunition she's looking for."

For almost two seconds Emi's fury wanted to fly at Adam but then she turned and walked away a few feet. She was rubbing her arms and shaking. She was breathing so hard she would hyperventilate if she didn't stop. Carefully Adam came up behind her but he didn't touch her. "I'm sorry Kendall upset you. She's just …"

"Yeah. I get it. She's a hot mess used to getting her way and found out you were the exception to her rule and destroyed her perfect score. Just tell me you didn't actually sleep with that hag."

"Er … no?"

Emi turned sharply and asked, "Did you?!"

This time Adam said with more confidence. "No. I might have at one time considered it but she strung me along for too long and I … er … lost interest." There was a bit of male embarrassment at the tail end of the admission.

"You … you …" Then Emi couldn't help it … she started to giggle. "Oh … my … God. Did you tell her that?!"

"Uh … it might have slipped out once … or twice … maybe three times. We were … er … disagreeing on whether I was going to help her with something after work."

Emi giggled so much she nearly fell down. She finally wound up leaning on Adam. "No wonder she's after your hide. Adam I swear … all this time … and it hasn't been about intellect but libido."

"Ok, you can stop rubbing it in. I'm not exactly proud of it or anything. I'd had a few drinks and she hunted me down at the sports bar the guys and I had been going to. It just kinda … spilled out. She was really laying into me and said I'd stood her up. The guys were trying not to notice but you know how they can be. I drug her outside and let her have it. She didn't take me seriously at first but she wouldn't stop competing and I was just done with it. I haven't even been able to explain it to anyone because that would only make it worse."

"Oh my god, would it ever. Oh no … and now what I've heard I can't unhear and every time I look at her face …" Emi started giggling again.

"Emi, if I gotta beg I will … please don't say anything to her."

"Oh I won't but now I know exactly what Ms. 'I'm a freakin' Amazon' Novak needs."

Knowing Emi Adam cautiously asking, "What are you planning?"

"See there's this guy at the university. He's wealthy, well-connected, nice looking, and tall … she's definitely going to need someone tall so she can wear those spiked heels she has a thing for. And he keeps spouting off that he's looking for the 'whole package' in a woman."

"Uh … Emi … you … you aren't … you wouldn't …"

"Ms. Novak appears to need something to spend all of this excess time she has on her hands."

"Emi?!"

"Oh yeah … this'll be perfect."

"Emerald O'Ryan you … you …"

Emi reached up, kissed his check, and with a wicked twinkle in her eye told him, "Just call me Cupid."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Everyone spent the remainder of the day processing the new information and what it meant to the case. By the next morning it had been decided that Emi's insight had been appreciated but that for now the team would take the case back over in full and she was no longer needed. They had the names of three couples who all had connections to the four victims associated with the adoption agency. Flack and Lindsey were interviewing one of the couples, Jo and Jamie the other, and Danny and Mac the third couple who were no longer actively seeking to adopt. That left Hawkes and Adam at the lab continuing to pursue other leads.

Midmorning Hawkes found Adam staring mesmerized at the microwave while a coffee cup turned slowly round and round. Hawkes shook his head. Adam lusted after caffeine the way he remembered he had during the emergency room rotation of his residency.

"Adam?" Adam jumped guiltily. Hawkes chuffed a laugh. "Try decaf."

Adam just made a face and asked, "'S up?"

"Uh … got a sec?"

Hawkes led him over to a quiet corner of the mostly empty breakroom. "Uh … about yesterday … Emi seemed pretty … er … upset. I just wanted you to know I didn't have anything to do with it."

"Upset?" Adam said scratching his head. "She nearly went full bore Hiroshima."

"She seemed … calmer … after you two came back from lunch."

"Er … she had something else to focus on." Five seconds later Adam jumped up like he'd just realized he'd been sitting on a tack. "That didn't come out right. I just meant …"

Sheldon Hawkes had a subtly wicked sense of humor and it showed in the sly smile he gave Adam before laughing outright at his expression. "Take it easy man … you're too easy to tease."

"Yeah … well …"

"Seriously, she's not torqued off at me? She seemed … er …" Then he squinted at something behind Adam. "Who's that?"

Adam turned around and there was a expensively attired man standing there talking to Kendall. Then the man shrugged, said something which caused Kendall to smile, and then turned to leave. He stopped for a moment and turned around to ask her something which seemed to surprise Kendall. They spoke another minute before both the man and Kendall separated, each going their own way, both of them looking suitably thoughtful.

Kendall stuck her head in the break room and told Adam, "Dr. O'Ryan just missed someone stopping by. A Dr. Bonham."

"What did he want?" Adam asked with suspicion.

"We never got around to that. He recognized me from a picture on my grandfather's desk. They both worked together on an historical preservation project earlier this year. Apparently I'll be seeing him again at a soiree my aunt is hosting for the university."

After she sauntered off down the hall Adam broke one of the cardinal rules of the lab by taking out his phone and calling Emi at home. "Dammit Emi …"

Even Hawkes could hear her laughter and decided that as tempting as it might be he really did not want to know.

A little after lunch the three teams that had been out in the field converged on the lab to compare notes. All three couples appeared innocuous but then so did many criminals until there was further investigation.

Flack had pooled their notes and said, "Not surprisingly all three couples are pretty well disillusioned by the adoption process through that agency and began exploring other options. The Tindales are completing an international adoption. They are scheduled to leave next month for Haiti where they are working with an adoption agency that their church connected them with. The Mitchells are fostering a set of brothers and if both parents have their parental rights stripped they are told they are first in line to adopt all three boys to keep them together. As for the Dunbrooks … the wife was in a car accident last year and is now wheelchair bound and frail; they've been contacted multiple times but once the birth mothers find out about her health issues they have been turned them down despite having more financial resources than the other two couples combined."

Hawkes asked, "Do any of them have any connection to the original twin victims?"

"Not that they admitted to," Flack answered. "I'm off to see what else I can turn up. Let me know if you guys find anything new."

After Flack left Danny asked, "Hawkes? Did you and Adam get that timeline straight?"

"Yes and as far as we can tell there are no additional clues in it."

Every member of the team felt there was something tantalizingly close but they were still working on the same evidence two weeks later. All three couples had been re-interviewed. There still was no connection to the original victims. They'd even managed to find out who the fathers of the babies were and interviewed them with no resulting evidence to suspect them of any connection to the case.

Then another young woman disappeared. Lisa Harmon. But she hadn't gone down without a fight. There was plenty of trace in her apartment and her car was missing.

For three days the team worked almost around the clock, all of them on the ragged edge of falling apart. Mac sighed and knew he needed to send everyone home. They all needed rest. They'd all admitted in various ways that they were allowing the case to affect other areas of their lives. Then his phone rang. He listened to the person on the other end and though shocked tried to say all of the appropriate things including yes, he'd pass the message along.

Jo watched Mac walk to Adam's work station. He took a deep breath and started talking. Adam looked upset then shocked. Mac walked him to the elevator and watched the young man struggle to deal with the information that he'd just been given.

Jo stepped out of her office. "Mac?"

Mac allowed her to follow him back into his office and asked her to sit down. He sat on the corner of his desk and then Jo covered her mouth with her hand, looking at Mac with shocked eyes.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Emi woke up with blurry eyes and fuzzy teeth. She'd been up so late waiting for Adam to come home she'd finally just fallen asleep on the decrepit sofa in the parlor. He hadn't called or anything but that wasn't necessarily unusual. The case was really stressing him out and he'd been pulling really long hours. Maybe he didn't know she had stayed downstairs and they'd just missed each other in the dark.

She trudged upstairs dressed in her regulation garish socks and a long t-shirt that read "I reject your reality and substitute my own."

She slowly peeked in his room but his bed hadn't been slept in. She checked her phone. Nope, no text or missed call. She tried to give it another hour but then she called his cell. No answer. She didn't want to bother him at work but when lunch came and went and still no response to her message she became desperate.

She found the business card in her purse where she had put it several days ago and dialed the number.

"Jo Danville."

Emi gulped air and said, "Hi … um … Jo. It's Emerald O'Ryan. Look I hate to bother you … office … case … work … uh … yeah … anyway … did Adam … uh … Look, he didn't come home and … well … none of my business but … oh hell … can you just tell me if he's at work so I can stop being stupid?"

There was silence on the other end and then Jo said, "Hang on a sec, I need to get to my office."

About half a minute later Jo asked, "Are you still there Honey?"

"Yeah. So … long pauses usually mean what in your book? Did I get Adam in trouble by calling?"

"No." She cleared her throat and then asked, "Adam hasn't called you?"

"No. Is … is he at work?"

"No."

"No?! When …"

"Slow down Emi … I can call you Emi?"

"Uh …"

"Good. I'm not quite sure how to say this except just to say it. Late yesterday Mac got a call from Mr. Rhodes."

Emi's mind raced. "Mr. Rhodes as in Michelle Rhode's father?"

"Yes. Apparently she was in some kind of accident and there were … complications."

"The … the baby? Premature and … I mean … oh God …"

"I'm not sure of anything Honey. All I know right now is they have Michelle and the baby stabilized but … she asked for him. For Adam."

Emi was numb and silent.

"Emi? Are you there?"

Emi shook herself. "Yes … yes I'm here. What hospital?" Jo gave her the information that she had. Emi was muttering to herself. "Probably still in the same clothes … hasn't eaten … Michelle's family is probably in shock." In a firmer voice Emi said, "Thanks for explaining. Has anyone talked to him since he left work?"

"No Sugar, the case is breaking and … I really need to …"

"Totally understand. Go. If or when I have any news I'll text it to you. Will that be ok?"

"Of course it will Honey. And you better, you hear me? And tell Adam …"

"I'll tell him, just take care of the team. Adam thinks a lot of you people."

She hung up and ran to get dressed and then to pack Adam some things in a gym bag. Friendship came first. For both of them. Here's her chance to prove it. Friendship then, now, and always. No matter what comes next nothing will ever change that.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Emi didn't drive. She'd never cursed that fact more than she did that day. But a car in the city is an expense and in the beginning it was one she couldn't afford, not with Reni and Gary's doctor bills coming every month like a harbinger of doom. Not when Reni needed special formula, special shoes, glasses … and all of her therapies that were needs that came before wants. Even when the money started coming in there wasn't a whole lot of extra and when all it took was a short hop on the subway or a few minutes in line to catch a bus her stingy little Irish purse strings blessed her for keeping them tied shut.

But no car meant that she was constantly waiting … on the bus, on the subway, on a light to change so she could cross the road, on a lift from a long suffering friend like Adam. It took her longer to get everywhere and she was restricted from getting from point A to point B by the whim of the city planners and where they put the mass transit routes.

 _Adam. God. He must be totally traumatized. That's the only reason he wouldn't have called her. What he must be going through. God. Please let him be all right. Please let me say the right things._

Seasons are changing and it was already dark by the time Emi made it to the hospital. She got directions to the right wing, floor, and then it took her a moment to find the right waiting room. She stood just outside looking in. It felt like she was always looking from the outside in. The room was packed but there were different huddles that told Emi that Michelle's family wasn't the only one suffering tonight.

And then he saw her. He jerked in surprise and it took him a moment to believe what he was seeing. He worked his way out of the knot of people he was with and came towards her. She could tell from across the room he was pale but by the time he got to her his face was almost crimson. Only he didn't stop when he was in front of her but grabbed her arm and pushed her backwards and into a nearby stairwell.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

Emi was too shocked to speak … until he shook her. "Answer me!"

"I … I was worried. I called … Jo."

"I don't need another mother," he growled. "I had one. I'm a grown man. If I had wanted you to know I would have called you myself."

Emi almost couldn't form a response. Then carefully she said, "I didn't just come for you. I came to find out about Michelle. We … we were friends at one time. And the … the baby. Jo made it out like it was bad."

"It _is_ bad," he hissed. "Everyone just calmed down, you showing up and someone asking questions is just going to start everyone up again. They're heart broken."

"Oh … oh no … Please," Emi said shaking her head. "Oh God Adam, I'm so sorry." She went to hug him but he pushed her away and she stumbled and cracked the back of her head against the concrete wall.

Adam took two steps backwards and shook his head like he couldn't believe what he'd just done. Then he face transformed and he shouted, "Now look what you made me do! Dammit, look at this mess!"

"Adam I only wanted to …"

"Do you know how hard I'm fighting?! Do you?! It's so easy for you! You're perfect childhood! You don't understand anything! Anything! How could you?! All you do is keep telling me I'm grieving but what would you know about that?! You don't even say their names anymore. Have you even been to the cemetery?!"

"What do you expect me to do?!" she cried realizing what he was talking about. "Bleed out every day?! I did that in the beginning and look where it got me!"

"Oh yeah, it's always about you. There is no way in hell you could understand. Reni wasn't even your …"

And just like that Emi did the one thing she never thought she would do. She slapped Adam, hard enough that she busted his lip.

The blood was just there … on his lip then in his beard that was once again shaggy from lack of care. That alone should have told her what kind of state he had been in lately. But no, she saw what she wanted to see. She looked at her hand and there was blood there too. His father had done that to him. Emi started shaking so hard she could barely breathe. "Oh God … oh God … oh God … I … I … I …"

All Adam could do was stand there blinking in shock. Emi kept backing away, her eyes wide and frightened. She was the one with the anger management issue, not Adam. She'd always been this way. When she was little she would have such powerful bursts of anger that it took all her Da's strength to hold her so she wouldn't hurt herself. They never found out why, she just seemed to outgrow it the summer her Creole gran was so sick. She heard her Ma tell her Da in one of her more fanciful moments that it was like his mother took it with her to the grave so Emi could go on without it. She never had another fit … until that night. That night her family was killed. No one knew what to do for her, not even her uncle. She'd just screamed and screamed and screamed. Until it was all out and all she could do was lay there wondering why she got left behind when the angels had come for the only ones that really loved her.

When Reni died she could have killed Gary. Nearly did. He was high as a kite and it took the cops to find him. Adam had helped with that. But when Gary died, she felt nothing … until she became angry she had felt nothing. Oh then she got angry but it was a pale shadow of a thing compared to how it had been for Reni. It hadn't been her Da that time that had held her so she couldn't hurt herself, it had been Adam. First and always he'd been a friend and protected her, now look what she'd done. She was the one constantly screwing up. She was the one that always managed to create some kind of disaster. Adam was right, she never should have come. She kept backing away because she couldn't bear to see the shock on his face.

 _And the blood, let's not forget about that Emerald Fauxchaux O'Ryan. Look what you've done this time girl. Broken the only thing you had left, a man so deep in his own grief he didn't know what he was doing or saying. Something you of all people should have understood and had compassion for. Her foot hit air and she nearly fell down the stairs. And look how, even after what you've done he still tried to save you._

Emi shook off Adam's hand that had steadied her and ran down the stairs as fast as the gym bag she still had slung over her shoulder would let her. Ran so she wouldn't hear him call, "Emi! Wait!"

She took the second door out of the stair well that would open. She hadn't taken the first because he would be thinking she would to get away. She'd spent too much time having to run away from things bigger and stronger than she was not to have learned a few tricks. She learned a lot in the group home she did. Thanks to Gary and Felicia. They'd eventually taken her under their care … after she'd been beat up a few times. They were amazed she didn't know how to defend herself so as a game they'd taught her just because they knew it would irritate the bullies. Then it was three against the others. They never started a fight but by all that was holy they knew how to finish one.

And when Gary and Felicia had aged out at eighteen years old they promised they'd find a place for her too because she'd be following them just a year later. But they'd disappeared and never come for her. And it turned out she hadn't had to find a place for herself because someone at the university had been looking out for her, had set up a scholarship for her upkeep and further education. Her brains had finally been good for something.

It was by accident she found them. She was surveying an excavation back in NYC … busywork but it was tolerable busywork … while the people in charge of the doctoral program decided what to do with her. She saw them in line at a homeless shelter. They'd never found a place for themselves. More surprising still was that Felicia was pregnant. What a mess. The city had eat them up and spit them out … both addicts though Felicia fought the pull of the drugs for the baby's sake. And with Emi's help they both cleaned up. Then something went wrong.

Felicia had always seemed so strong, so above the things that had made her "unadoptable," especially the heart condition once thought corrected. But the drugs had done their damage and … she didn't survive the emergency c-section. Then came Reni's diagnosis and the state with all of their threats. That's when Emi made her decision. That's when she decided how she was going to feed her need to be needed. And for a while it had worked. For a while Felicia's memory was enough for Gary but … then it wasn't and he kept looking for ways to feel better, to self-medicate when the drugs the doctor's gave him stopped working, when he couldn't stand to … never mind, all of that was old news and nothing that Emi could do anything about it.

The second door … finally. An underground parking garage. It was dark and she must have walked the gray off of the floor just trying to figure out what she was going to do. She knew she needed to fix things she just didn't know how you fixed things so broken … something she had broken.

Then an arm grabbed her and she swung around. Not in fear but because she'd almost walked into an oncoming car. "Jeezus girl … didn't you hear me callin' you?"

"Danny?"

"Yeah … damn," he said getting the first good look at her face. "It's bad is it."

"I … oh Danny … I shouldn't have come. I never seem to learn."

"Whadda you mean? Hey … you been cryin'?"

"It doesn't matter. I screwed up so bad."

"Hey ho … you're lookin' at the king of screwin' up. Why don't you come back, let me call Linds."

"No!" She wiped her nose and tried to swallow but her throat was so dry. She could just barely clear it and ask, "Look, can you take this to Adam? I … I brought it and then forgot to give it to him." A nearly hysterical giggle escaped her and Danny really started to look alarmed.

"Seriously Kid, you need to come back or somthin'. Jo can …"

"God, not her either. That's all Adam needs. More of us sticking our nose in his business. No way." Emi dug in her pocket … she always carried such an amazing amount of junk in her pockets everywhere she went. She found a piece of pencil she couldn't bring herself to throw away and then unzipped the gym bag and on a piece of paper she'd stuck in there she scribbled something. She zipped things back up and turned to Danny who was on the phone and watching her from the corner of his eye.

"Oh no you don't Danny Messer. I am no one's problem that needs cleaning up. I can clean up my own mess thank you very much. Just … just do me a favor and give this to Adam. Ok?"

She turned and then sprinted into the dark. She heard Danny yell, "Hey! Dammit! Don't do this! It's dark as hell in here. C'moooon! Emi!"


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Up she went. And out. It seemed to take forever to find her way to the street level. Where it was just as dark.

She started walking. Maybe not the smartest thing to do for a lone female but it wasn't the first time she'd been alone. Probably wasn't the last either. Her new alone had probably already started. But she decided just in case it hadn't not to be stupid. She reached into her pocket to take out her phone and realized she must have dropped it somewhere.

"Frick. That's so typical." Instead of walking away in the dark Emi decided to use some commonsense and headed to the front of the hospital to see if there was a taxi there. She always kept taxi fare in her shoe just in case. This phone wasn't the first one she had lost. Some archaeologist one of these centuries would likely be finding bits and pieces of her over most of the Northeast. And in the oddest places too.

She had almost made it to the doors when she was attacked from behind. Emi fought hard, just like Gary and Felicia had taught her, how she'd had to do for herself when they were no longer there. But the man was much bigger than she was. And infinitely stronger. Still she fought with every dirty trick she knew not to be pulled into the car. But then he slammed the door on her left hand and all she could do was shriek. That was all the opening he needed. A fist to the side of her head and all was dark.

Danny was on the phone and entering the lobby of the hospital when the commotion erupted around him.

"A woman was just kidnapped! Get security!"

And Danny knew. He hadn't been at the hospital to see Adam but to see Mr. Paul Dunbrook. He worked as an internist in the emergency room and was there the night that Tina Hughes was brought there by her friends when she'd started to miscarry while at a nightclub.

"Hey! NYPD! Move it people!"

Within thirty minutes the team was there, including Adam who was so pale everyone kept telling him he needed to go back to Michelle's family.

"No. That's done. Michelle … and … and the baby … they're going to make it. Just move so I can play the security tapes and see what we have."

Mac nodded. "There's a bad glare from the parking lot lights. See what you can do so we can make a positive ID on Dunbrook and his captive."

Adam kept fiddling with the brightness and contrast. The only thing they were positive of is the young woman fought like a hellcat. So much so that everyone watching was cheering her on even though they knew what was going to happen.

Then he finally got the ancient machinery to give him a frame by frame and he saw it. "No … no … no, no, no …"

"Adam?"

"It's … It's Emi. Her … her braid. Oh my god …"

Adam swayed, gray faced. Mac grabbed his arm but he jerked away. It was Flack, less shocked than the others after seeing him in the precinct with his old man, that got his arm behind his back to stop him from swinging. "Take it easy Ross, we're all friends here."

Adam folded … literally … and it was Danny that got a shoulder under his arm and got him over to a chair in the security booth.

There was silence and then Mac started belting out orders. "I want them found. Check Dunbrook's house. Bring his wife in. Check bank records, put out an APB, armed and dangerous. Flack, get squad cars patrolling the warehouse district where the other bodies were found. Move people."

Emi woke to screaming. Not her own, not yet. But she felt like screaming. She curled up around her left hand, swollen and already feverish, several fingers bent at unnatural angles.

The screaming cycled up and up and up, then down just long enough for oxygen to refill the lungs and then the screaming would start again. This went on for minutes? Hours? Emi's hand wasn't the only thing feverish.

Then it stopped. A few minutes later she heard it, a sound she recognized. The sound of bones snapping and breaking. Then a messy wet sound and then something being thrown into the corner where she lay with a splat. Wet droplets of something thick hitting her. Then there was squeaking and an odd hissing sound like rubber rubbing against something it wasn't supposed to.

Emi had to turn her head because one eye was swollen shut. She tried to catalogue what she was seeing. Feet dangled uselessly, muscles atrophied but still obviously belonging to a woman. Rolling over Emi saw a wheelchair … a woman in a wheelchair. Her brain still wasn't firing on all cylinders. The woman was smiling but that wasn't right, why would she be smiling. Then she spoke, in a voice while not ridiculously cultured like out of some Grade B horror movie, but still educated and refined.

"Good. Paul, our guest is finally awake."

"Wh … where am I?"

"Why my dear … in hell of course. Where you and everyone like you belong."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Mac was coldly furious. Everyone around him knew it. There weren't many that didn't feel it with him. One kidnap victim was enough but now there were two. And one of them might as well be one of them … one of their own. It didn't matter that it wasn't by badge or by blood, all anyone had to do was look at the nearly lifeless eyes of the man standing in the midst of the storm to see it. Because _he_ was one of them and she was his which made her by extension theirs.

Jo tried for the last time. "Adam, go back to the lab. I'll have someone drive you. Or stay here with the team working on this end."

"No," he said stubbornly refusing to be left behind just as he had all the times before. "You're on your way to the building. I'm coming with you."

Jo started to try again but Mac intervened. "Ride with me," he told the other man.

Mac understood. Better than the others could. Christine. What he had done to rescue her. As Adam's boss he couldn't sanction him taking the same risks but he could support his desire to be there … regardless of the outcome. And as a friend … Mac let that thought trail off, leaving the option flexible depending on what they found.

Adam looked like death … exhausted death. He'd had too many shocks in too short of a time period.

Danny drove. Mac choosing to sit in the back with Adam. "She's a fighter."

Adam said quietly. "She is. Like nobody knows. But sometimes you fight and no matter how hard you fight, you still lose the battle and ultimately the war."

Adam kept folding and unfolding a piece of paper. Mac had noticed him doing it even when he'd been working on the security tape.

"What's that?" Mac asked.

Adam looked down at it and it seemed to take every bit of willpower for him to hand it to Mac.

It was just a piece of kitchen notepad, the kind you hang on the refrigerator and add things to remember to pick up at the grocery on the way home from work. On one side it said in neat penmanship and green ink:

Cookies …

There's enough in here to share.

Michelle's family probably

hasn't eaten. They'll

go good with hospital coffee.

Experience talking here.

On the other side in barely legible pencil:

I'm sorry.

I didn't meant to.

Please forgive me.

Still be my friend.

Mac handed the poignant note back to Adam. In a gravelly and shame-filled voice Adam told him, "We … we had a fight. The thing with Michelle. I didn't handle it right. Leftover stuff that I didn't know what to do with. I let it poison … god. And Emi … she's … I knew I was being stupid … being an ass … but couldn't stop. Then … then … and she … she ran away. I made her run away. She's so fast. I … I tried … she just disappeared and then I … oh God … I screwed up so bad."

Mac didn't know what to say but apparently Danny did. "You and her, you're a lot alike. She said the same thing."

"You … you saw her?!"

"Down in the parking garage. Yeah. She's damn fast. Gave me that bag to take to you and then shot off into the dark like I don't what. You and her gonna have to have a discussion about that running off business. It ain't kosher."

"If I ever get the chance … God," he groaned, fists clinched, feeling as if his heart had shattered into a million pieces.

Danny wasn't through. "Hey, don't think like that. The girl has skills. She's a fighter."

"She's hurt. You … you saw it just like I did. Like everyone did. That bastard hit her. She's small … she comes off as big but she's not … she's not even as tall as Lindsey. And tiny … she … she got real sick after Reni died. She wouldn't eat. Wouldn't sleep. She … oh God and I told her she didn't understand."

Mac and Danny didn't know what they could do to take the pain away that Adam was in. Didn't even know if they should. It seemed to be the only thing holding him up.

.

"You have nothing to say? No defense to make?"

Emi knew she was in trouble but moving reminded her of a phrase her Da used to say. "As slow as molasses in winter." Her balance was shot. Nothing seemed to be working right. And the blasted room kept wanting to tilt.

"If … if I've done something to you I don't remember. Explain it please."

The woman cackled madly. "Explain it?! Paul? Did you hear that? She's the first one that has had the nerve to ask. Usually they're begging, crying, pleading for their worthless, miserable lives, but none of them … well, accept for that first one … acted like they understood. But you … you are the first to actually have the decency to ask for our side instead of only worrying about yourself."

That hadn't exactly been what Emi meant but if the crazy woman in front of her took it that way she wasn't going to try and persuade her otherwise. Never look a gift horse in the mouth. That's one her gran had been fond of but for the life of her she couldn't remember what it was supposed to mean other than don't complain when something goes your way. In the movies the crazy people always had to tell their story, have their monologue to rationalize and justify what they were doing. Maybe life imitates art more than she thought. Whatever. It was a chance.

"So explain it. You may not owe it to me but I think you owe it to yourself to make me understand."

The woman fell silent and Emi wasn't sure if she would or not.

Then she began, "How dare they judge me … us. What I can't do I could have hired someone to do. But did they see that?! No! Of course not the short-sighted, ill-bred hussies. They rejected without any thought, any feelings. We could and would have paid anything they asked but oh no … we weren't perfect enough. As if that drunk driver hadn't already taken enough from us."

Paul Dunbrook came over and put a bloody hand on his wife's shoulder. "Easy love. They were wrong. We've proved it time and again."

"Yes," she hissed. "Yes they were wrong. But back then we … we hadn't given up. Back then, fools though we were, we still hoped. But hope is a fragile thing at best and soon enough our supply was running low. Then we heard about a way to adopt … it cost more but the rewards would be faster. Young women in trouble, too frightened of their families, too frightened of their reputations, to go public with their shame. We didn't want some piece of trash off the street so our search took longer than expected but then we found her. She was perfect … or so we thought. A young woman who had gotten into trouble with a married man. He would pay for her to go away and have the baby so long as she gave it up for adoption. She agreed. Perfect. In a home with staff."

The woman grimaced then bellowed. "Staff?! That's laughable. We'd grown quite attached to the young woman, paid for what we thought was excellent healthcare. Bah!"

The woman stopped and looked away and started sobbing uncontrollably. The man glared at Emi like it was her fault. But he did continue the story with almost clinical detachment. "They didn't realize she was carrying twins. She went into labor early and was in trouble almost from the beginning. She needed a caesarian but that's when we found out the 'doctor' on staff couldn't even shave his own face without slitting his throat. The midwife that was normally there was on vacation and they hadn't scheduled coverage because they hadn't expected anyone to go into labor that weekend."

As if talking to a child the woman said, "They were so tiny. So precious. I held them. They looked and me and realized who their mother was." Suddenly the woman's voice sounded demon possessed. "Then the light went out of their eyes. I held my precious wonders and they were stolen from me!"

There was dead silence and then the woman said in a completely calm voice, "Paul dear, it's time."

Emi asked, "Time for what?"

The woman smiled evilly and said, "You'll see."

Lightning cracked followed closely by thunder. And within seconds it was pouring down rain. It added fifteen minutes to their drive time and Adam was so jittery by the time they arrived that it was all Mac could do to escape the car and go out into the rain to put some distance between him and the man who could not seem to stop moving. Mac had seen Adam bouncing off the walls before but this time, though he moved less it was like he was being torn apart from the inside out. His skin twitched like he was being struck or stabbed ever few seconds.

Flack ran up with an umbrella but their voices could barely be heard over the drum of the water on its surface. "We're setting up a perimeter. This rain will cover our initial approach but will make it impossible for the snipers to find a target."

"Understood. Has their location in the building been pinpointed?"

That's when the top of the building they had been about to enter exploded.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

The building they were in shook and a few windows shattered startling the three occupants.

"Paul dear, I think you overdid it."

Paul turned to look at her and smiled, "If a job is to be done well, let it be well done."

If Emi hadn't been so scared, and this had been a movie, she would have been in danger of laughing and being evicted from the theater. But the incipient hysteria died in the making as she Emi finally stood and got a good look at what was on the plywood table. She wasn't squeamish. Never had been, never would be, but what had been done to that poor woman – the insanity behind it – came pretty darn close to making her hurl.

Emi's leg was bumped with what turned out to be a gun in the hands of the crazy woman. "Not yet my dear, not yet. You mustn't escape, we aren't through with you."

"I figured as much," Emi admitted calmly trying to ignore the barrel the woman was rubbing up and down her leg suggestively. "So what's first?"

Baffled the woman stopped and rolled back before asking, "First?"

"Yeah. Are you going to try and scare the crap out of me or just go straight into the torture? Seems to be a kind of either or thing at the moment."

Curiously the woman looked at her before saying, "Actually I'd like to know what makes you different from the others."

"As the song says, I was born this way."

"Really? In my experience most people are made. What made you?"

"I told you …"

"Humor me," she said, her voice threaded with a thinly veiled threat. "It adds minutes to your life."

Emi wondered if it was the time to point out she'd never been pregnant and could never have been unless there was going to be a second immaculate conception. Gary had never been into her that way, only Felicia. But she doubted the woman in front of her would believe her. Heck she wasn't sure Adam believed her though that was the reason they'd never actually gotten around to doing it despite the opportunities presented. She'd wondered how the woman would react to her adopting Reni. But no, she didn't want to share that special angel with this spiteful bit of hell. Instead Emi decided she had nothing more to lose and said, "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"Tell me something you've never told another living soul. Something that makes you who you are."

And it came to Emi. If this was indeed her last day in this life maybe it was her last chance to get it off her chest. After all with the flames throwing shadows on the walls, the smell of smoke and loosened bowels brought on by death, and a demon and her minion having imprisoned her … maybe this was a corner of hell … or purgatory. It didn't feel like there could be much difference so why not? Maybe confession really was good for the soul. "I was twelve when my life came to an end the first time," she said, beginning her tale.

On the ground chaos reigns. The fire is spreading through the building so fast there's no way for the emergency personnel to do a thorough search. A fireman runs over and says, "There's … there's bodies all over the second floor. We're bringing down what we can but I can't risk my people on the already dead. And the stairs have been destroyed … no way to go any higher. We'll try and maneuver the crane but …"

Mac turns, trying to find Adam. Dammit. Where is he? There's no time for this. Relief. There he is. Mac knows he needs to assign someone to him, keep him from doing anything insane.

"Danny!"

"Yeah Mac?!"

"Keep an eye on Adam!"

"Where is he?"

"Over … dammit … he keeps moving. There. See him by the Avalanche?"

"Got 'im."

Danny runs over. "Whoa buddy … where you goin'?" he asks as Adam starts to wander further from the scene.

Adam looks at his friend and Danny blows out a slow breath. He hopes to God that by some miracle they find Emi alive. 'Cause if they don't he's afraid he'll be burying two friends, not just one.

It hadn't taken long to set the scene and Emi said, "They didn't realize I ran back and climbed in the window Michael had put me out of. Everyone banging on the doors downstairs like an old time lynch party. But no one was getting in that way, the thieves had pushed furniture in front of them. I _was_ inside, having climbed back up the ivy trellis and back into my parents' bedroom. But no one was there. Then I heard two shots. They were so loud in the small house. Kids don't know any better, at twelve I should have but I was a young twelve … smart but naïve. I crept down the hall, towards my bedroom, the one I shared with the twins."

Ingrigued by the story and Emi's telling of it the woman said, "Go on."

"They'd already done something to Michael and Da. As I stood rooted to the spot I watched them shoot my little brother and sister. Heard my mother shriek. Watched her get shot as she went to attack the ones that had killed her babies with only the nails God let grow on her hands. That's when I saw …"

"Yes?" the woman said eagerly, like she was being offered a special treat.

"Michael was dead but Da … wasn't. At least not physically. Not yet. The thieves were talking about how to escape. They just ran passed me, not seeing me at all, nearly knocking me down, but all I could do was walk over to my Da. I begged and pleaded with him to say something but his throat was … was damaged. But that's not what killed him anymore than the bullets had. He was the strongest man I've ever known. Nothing phased him. Nothing. Not even me when I was at my most wicked. And yet there he lay, broken. My mind didn't want to accept it. The coroner said he had a myocardial infarction … a heart attack. But I know it wasn't that. It was seeing my Ma just lying there, like a broken doll. The only woman he'd ever loved besides his mother. A heart attack my ass … he died of a broken heart." Emi suddenly new it was now or never. In a stronger voice, one void of its usual Irish lilt, one instead that sounded like a bayou banshee she yelled, "And I'll be damned if I'll stand by and watch another good man die of the same thing. If I'm going to hell you're going there ahead of me."

Emi's temper, for once giving her strength rather than being a weakness, drove her forward and she and the woman both were propelled into the stairwell. Emi's gremlins took over at that point. The metal stairwell, rusted and barely hanging on for who knows how long, snapped. Emi and her captor plunged fifteen feet down to the second floor landing before sliding down the risers to the first floor, tumbling end over end.

The noise of crashing metal on metal had been loud enough to catch even Danny and Adam's notice. Danny pulled his gun and cautiously moved through the doorway of the building beside where they had parked. "Adam, don't even. Just stay behind me."

Then there was a man's wild cry. "Cynthia!"

They were just in time to see the man jump down to the pile of twisted wheelchair and women. Danny started calling for back up and telling Paul Dunbrook to stay where he was at at the same time. Unfortunately the noise outside prevented his call from being heard immediately. It was when Paul tried to reach his wife that he simply picked Emi up and threw her to the side like a broken toy.

Suddenly it wasn't the fire outside that anyone had to worry about, it was the fire that was now an inferno in Adam's eyes.

.

Emi was dazed and her hand had started screaming in protest as yet another finger had been broken after being caught in the spokes of the wheelchair as it went around. There was blood running down her face in danger of blinding the one eye she could see out of. She stopped cataloguing her injuries as she felt herself fly through the air and all but wrap around a support beam. That certainly didn't help her get air back into her lungs after having the wind knocked out of her from the fall.

It was finally the sight of Adam fighting with Paul Dunbrook that helped Emi to drag herself to her feet. She had something to tell him, had to tell him, she had to hang on at least that long.

It was a mistake for Danny to try and stop the fight, Emi knew it as soon as she saw him try. Italian or not you just didn't get between an Irishman and his dinner. Who knows how long the fight could have continued. Adam's energy seemed boundless, like he could continue beating on the man until eternity came around three … maybe four … times. And maybe he could have. But the monster was destroyed and was a whimpering pile. Adam was having to hold him up with one hand to hit him with the other.

Then Adam took a good look at the man, threw him from him, and staggered back a few steps breathing hard.

Emi was barely standing upright, holding to the beam, when Adam spotted her. He ran to her and it was a good thing too because whatever had given her strength up to that point was failing. He held her and with what little breath she had she said, "See? I knew you weren't a thing like him. Don't let anyone else say it either. Not even you Adam Ross or I'll … I'll have a … thing … or three … to say …" But the dark was closing in. She tried, oh how she tried. There was still one more thing she had to tell him but all she heard was her name being called. Even her pains were slipping away. All she felt were tears on her face … but whether they were his, hers, or theirs she was passed caring.


	32. Chapter 32

_**Author's Note** : Last chapter. I've been reading back over the previous chapters of this episode and realized there are some awful grammatical errors that I didn't catch as I went along. My apologies for that and I will try and go back and correct them. Some formatting and line breaks missing as well. Not everything I had typed on my computer copied over so I'll fix that. It makes the last couple of chapters easier to read. And if you've read this far, thank you. It's been my privilege to entertain you. Feel free to continue leaving comments and critiques. I definitely use them to try and improve my writing and give people what they want to read. If you're interested in me continuing more episodes in my version of how things continue on for the team post season 9 sing out and let me know._

 **Chapter 32**

"Adam?"

Jo's heart nearly broke as the disheveled man with ginger hair slowly turned to look at her. "Oh … hey Jo. Wait, weren't you just here?"

His face was a pasty white devoid of any color except for a few minor scrapes and the nearly black smudges under his eyes. It made Jo want to gather him up and just hug him to pieces like she did her daughter Ellie when her heart had been broken by some boy or other. But Adam wasn't a kid, he was a man; a man barely holding onto his shattered reality of too many losses in too short a time. Doing the wrong thing she knew could cause him to lose his grip and then they'd lose him. She did step forward and put her hand on his arm. "Sugar that was yesterday. Have you slept at all? Eaten anything?" She had to ask the later because he kept refusing all offers no matter how his body needed sustenance.

Adam nodded. "I had some cookies."

"Cookies?!" Jo Danville didn't know whether to complain or cry. The cookies in question came from a bag that looked suspiciously like one she'd seen in his gym bag three days ago. "Honey, Emi wouldn't begrudge you getting some real food. C'mon and let me take you to the cafeteria."

"No." It was the same answer he'd stubbornly given anyone that tried to pry him away from Emi's side.

They were both startled by a rustling movement on the hospital bed and then a quietly grumbled, "Not nutritional genius. Cookies later, real food now."

Jo whooped in glee and ran out looking for a doctor. Adam's heart was in his throat as he bent over Emi doing his best not to bump the cast on her left hand or any of her other injuries, of which there were many. "Emi? Emi? Can you hear me?"

"Thirsty," she said in a sandpaper voice.

"I'll get you something when they say it is ok. Just tell me … tell me before anyone comes back … can you forgive me. Please Emi …"

Emi tried to open her "good" eye but could only get it cracked a wee bit. Still, it gave her enough sight to see that Adam still hadn't trimmed his beard and that he looked sick.

Agitated she commanded, "Get me up. Someone needs to take care of you. You look all … all …"

Ignoring her demand Adam leaned closer. He wanted to pull her into his arms but that would only make that Nurse Hatchet that was constantly swooping around send him from the room. Into her ear he whispered, "Emi, I need you. Please get better."

She whispered back. "Anything you want. It doesn't matter what." With her good hand she tried to reach out to him and rub away the lines of worry bracketing his eyes but the heavy dose of pain medication in her system pulled her back into the dark.

* * *

Mac came by later that day to see for himself that Lazarus had indeed risen. He found Adam leaning on the door frame of the room looking in with a smile on his face. He realized it was the first genuine one he'd seen there in quite some time, not just days but weeks if not longer. He'd started to understand that Adam was a lot better at hiding emotions than many of them had understood but evidence of it continued to surprise him nonetheless. They'd had an idea of who Adam was for so long, this new Adam that was emerging from behind his defenses – a combination of the old and comfortable and the new and intriguing – was going to take some getting used to.

From inside the room there was a disgruntled voice complaining, "Leave a girl some dignity will you?!"

Standing straight when he saw Mac Adam's smile grew even wider. "She going to be a terrible patient."

"So it would appear," Mac agreed as there was more grumbling and then a hiss of pain that had Adam looking at the curtain surrounding the hospital bed for a moment.

"She doesn't mean to be cranky. She'd feel bad if she knew how she sounds. It's just she's used to being the one taking care of people, not the other way around."

Remembering his own time in the hospital Mac grinned ruefully before saying, "She has my sympathies." After a moment he asked, "Are you up for the latest news?"

A brief moment of confusion showing that his sleep-deprived brain was still working mostly on leftover adrenaline Adam nodded. "Yeah. Jo told me a few things but could you neaten it up? She's got the craziest way of saying stuff and I don't always get it. I still don't understand what ashtrays on motorcycles and screen doors on submarines has to do with anything."

Mac smiled. "Jo has definitely been wound a little tight. I think her southern colloquialisms help her blow off steam."

"Uh … ok?"

Mac chuckled before turning serious. "Cynthia Dunbrook will live but whatever years she has left will be spent in a cell on Bellevue's special lockdown psych ward. The reality she believes in matches nothing in existence. Her husband's ultimate residence is still being determined but he won't be going anywhere either, not after all of the other bodies were pulled from the rubble of the building they sabotaged. There was a lot more killing than the bodies we found indicated. We've already identified a few, most will likely be identified as street people and runaways. It was Cynthia Dunbrook that focused on pregnant women, her husband simply enjoyed killing in general and had been at it for years according to his confession. He claimed it was his outlet for his frustrations in life.

"Geez … crazy much?" Adam said then shuddered. Those people had held Emi captive. He came so close to losing her.

"He claims he was perfecting techniques his father taught him for managing stress."

Adam blanched at the mention of things fathers taught their sons.

Mac noticed though he put it down to exhaustion. "Let me take you to get something to eat. It sounds like Emi is going to be busy for a while."

From the room a highly agitated voice yelped, "You want to stick that where?! I don't think so me boyo! I did not sign up for a class taught by the Marquis de Sade!"

Adam walked over to the curtain. "Emi?" Suddenly all was silent.

"Don't you come around this curtain Adam Ross. They don't believe in dignity around here."

"It'll be ok … let them take care of you so I don't have to worry."

A deep sigh followed by a barely whispered, "Fine. For you. But no one else."

"That's good. Uh … I'm going with Mac to get a bite to eat."

In a firmer voice but one that still reflected how weak she truly was she said, "Well Saints be praised. And I expect you to clean your plate. Better yet, eat and then go home and get some rest. You can't just keep …"

"Emi, I'm just going to get some food and then I'll be back. I promise."

Another brief silence followed by an obviously relieved, "Ok."

Leading Adam to the cafeteria by that point was almost like leading a lamb. Mac was really worried about him. "Maybe Emi is right. I can drop you off at the house and …"

Adam straightened his shoulders and said, "No. I'm fine. Emi needs me. She won't admit it but she keeps almost panicking every time she closes her eyes and she flinches when someone goes to touch her. I … I think the case has brought up some bad memories."

"Do you know of what of?"

"No. She'll tell me eventually. When she's ready."

Mac nodded but didn't say another word until they'd gotten their food and sat down; Mac had to tell the server what to put on Adam's tray because he was so deep in thought.

Mac pointed to the tray and said, "Eat. And then tell me how _you're_ doing."

"Uh …"

Trying to help Adam Mac said, "I've been there. The … the feeling of helplessness when someone you care deeply about has been hurt, is hurting, is hurt in ways you can't quite fix, can only endure with them." He meant Christine after her abduction. Christine still has the occasional nightmare though the times between them are longer and longer.

Adam slowly picked up his fork and put a bite in his mouth. He had to keep swallowing because at first his stomach wanted to rebel but after a few more he found he was actually hungry. Finally he answered Mac. "There's a lot of things going on in my head. Things that … that I didn't know where there for a long time. Emi … I used her. She let me use her. Maybe she used me some too. I don't want it to be like that anymore. I don't want things to change exactly but at the same time … they need to change some … for her sake _and_ mine."

Mac realized this was about more than the case and let him talk. Mac suspected he needed another man as a sounding board.

"I'm gonna go talk to some people … some people I know. I … when I first got out here to NY, started college, I … I got a little crazy with the freedom of it. Out from under my father for the first time in my life. I didn't know what to do or how to act. Got in with the wrong crowd for about a semester then one of the guys in our dorm committed suicide and … and it was like … I don't know. I just knew I needed to deal with stuff so I found some people and I thought I'd fixed it. No more nightmares, just … just memories."

Adam drew shapes in his mashed potatoes with his fork then took a bite. After he swallowed he continued. "Life was great. School … I'd always loved it as my one escape. Then you come along. I loved my job, still love it so don't think any of this changes that. I had friends … real friends … and still do. I did ok with … well, I never had to be alone unless I wanted to. Life was fine. The old feelings would come but mostly I was sad about them. Sometimes things at work would make me remember things I would rather not. Then my brother called. We hadn't talked since I moved out. We barely talked before that. He claimed it was after I was born that dad got bad, before that not so much. I don't know what to believe … whether to believe him. He's dad's carbon copy … in a lot of areas. But out of the blue he said he was bringing our father to NY and that I could deal with him from then on out, that he'd done his time and now it was my turn. He just dumped it all on me at once … lots of stuff from the past, things I didn't know. For last he saved that dad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, just spewed it. But I got a handle on it. I knew what I had to do if I wanted to keep the self-respect I'd worked so hard for. Then Michelle. That was heaven for a while. Then suddenly it wasn't. We never fought. I … I never yelled at her or anything else. It wasn't me she had a problem with it was the job. But my job _is_ me … or a big part of me … and I … I resented her wanting to change what felt like was the best part of me. Splitting up. Getting back together … only we weren't really. It was the baby. She wouldn't have been there otherwise. I admit it … I wanted back what we had. To me the baby was icing on the cake. It would give me a chance to prove to her … to everyone … most of all to me … that I wasn't … that I wasn't my father."

And hearing that Mac began to understand even more about the man in front of him.

"Anyway everyone knows how that turned out. If Emi hadn't been there, hadn't been so determined to help me put the pieces back together. Mac I really don't know what would have happened. But by that time … I … I'm ashamed of it Mac. Ashamed in a way I hate to say but if I don't tell you you won't be able to understand and I think I … I think I need you to."

"I'm listening Adam. And I'll do my best to understand."

"Oh you'll get it. You've probably seen a lot of it but I never thought I'd … see I swore up and down I'd never be like him. I still refuse to. I'd rather put a bullet in my head."

The calm and frank way that Adam said it shocked Mac to the core but he didn't let it show.

"See, anger has never been my thing. I hate getting angry. My father was a deeply angry man. Seeing him now. Listening to him talk to people from his past … he thinks I'm my Uncle Brian and the things they went through as boys … you don't want to know Boss, you really don't. I thought my dad was mean … and he was … is … but there were limits because too many people might see and get involved. In my dad's day people just looked the other way most of the time. Sorry. I'm delaying, don't want to tell you, but …"

Adam felt like he was going to be sick but someone had to know, and Mac had been more of a father figure to him than his own father ever had been. Even if he hadn't meant to. Even if he was just trying to mentor him, he still showed more concern and desire for Adam to improve both personally and professionally than he'd ever received any place else. Gave him more validation and praise. Especially from a man. Mac taught him that authority didn't have to be painful even if it still did make him jumpy. He might never overcome that part of it but maybe that just kept him on his toes.

"When I found out the baby wasn't mine … I was angry."

Mac told him, "Anyone would be."

"Maybe. But most people have … have the skills to deal with feeling angry. I didn't know how. All I could do was tamp it down, keep it below the surface, hidden. But it kept coming to the surface. Explosively. Like my father. That scared me … looking into the mirror and seeing his eyes staring back. But I controlled it. Emi made it easy. She bossed me around but mostly made it funny. Telling me that I was letting her boss me around even though we both know I didn't need it … she was the one that needed to be needed. She wasn't lying except to herself. And she does need to be needed. It really makes her sick to think she has no one to take care of. And the fact that she's focused that on me … Mac it's the best feeling. But she needs taking care of because she puts so much of herself into other people that she …" Adam shook his head ruefully. "You've seen her. She claims she's bad with people but she isn't … unless she has to deal with more than a few at a time, or something else becomes too much for her. Her overload is worse than mine. Going to class was a misery for her. She's … territorial … about her space; only she never has been with me. We … we recognize something in each other I guess."

"You two do have some similarities."

"Yeah. Yeah we do," Adam admitted. "A similarity we have that neither of us expected is that our anger can get away from us. I've always known that about Emi but she puts up with a lot of crap too. I'm surprised she isn't angry more often than she is. It's also the way she was born … she's just hardwired different from everyone. I'm okay with that … she tolerates it because she doesn't have any choice but it makes her uncomfortable for people to notice. But she has one or two things that … and this is the part … see I didn't call her on purpose. I kept trying to keep all these things in my life separate. Michelle and the baby … she asked for me and to be a 'good guy' I had to come but it was more about the baby than her which doesn't make me a 'good guy.'"

"How are they?" Mac asked after Adam became so quiet Mac thought he had shut down.

Quietly Adam said, "Mr. Rhodes kept me up to date when he found out about Emi, after wondering why I had just disappeared that night. He isn't a bad guy to have for a father, Michelle is lucky. But I … I explained it to him that … it was too … too hard for me. I think he might have understood, or at least tried to; he acted like he did anyway. That part of my life … it's over. I've made peace with it. I hadn't until that day but now I have. But … some of it will always … hurt. The baby … she was born way early. They'll just have to wait and see if that means she'll have any issues. But … they're not my responsibility … the baby or Michelle."

Mac let Adam tell the rest in his own time.

"I wasn't a 'good guy' in a lot of ways that night. Emi … well she was just worried about me. About Michelle and the baby too. Emi and Michelle were friends at one time. They might have been great friends if things had been different. It's not like Emi barrels into situations on purpose … I mean she does but she doesn't always think. She's just got this thing about taking care of people. If I had called her earlier … but I don't know … when Emi decides to take care of you she kinda blows on through. It had been touch and go with Michelle and the baby and the word had just been given to the family that Michelle was going to for sure make it but that they weren't sure about the baby but that she was stabilized. All of the emotions were just … a lot for me to handle. I'd had to sit there and take it from Michelle's brother who was going out of his head. His father finally got him to stop, got him to see that … whatever. I was just in a bad place. Then I saw Emi. Just standing there like now that she'd gotten to the hospital she wasn't sure what to do. And my anger found a safe target."

Adam grimaced at the shock on Mac's face that he quickly tried to hide. "Yeah. Adam Ross, King of the Jackasses. You think being angry alone was bad … I kept at her, said she had no business being there, that I didn't want her there, that there was no way she could understand … It was all lies. Even as the words came out of my mouth I knew they were lies but I couldn't stop myself. Even seeing the look on Emi's face. The hurt. But she kept … trying. No self-preservation … that's Emi. When she is in the zone she doesn't matter, just that she fulfills her mission. She tried to hug me and I pushed her. It wasn't hard thank God but … Jesus I was suddenly scared and because I was I yelled at her some more. She'd hit her hit on the wall, I didn't want that to be my fault so I blamed her for that too. Then I did the unforgivable, the one thing I knew that would put her over the top and give me the fight I was looking for. I knew it as soon as the words were half out of my mouth but I got more than I expected."

Adam covered his face and if possible he was paler than he had been when he'd fought the paramedics for Emi's body. "I told her she couldn't understand because she wasn't a mother. Only I didn't even have to use all of those words. I made sure she knew what I was going to say before I said it. I knew it was a lie and I said it anyway. She almost died when Reni did. I knew that she was … Anyway she gets furious at even suspecting people think that. Reni is sacrosanct … like her family. You just don't mess with those memories." Adam looked at Mac and said, "She slapped me. Hard enough she busted my lip and there was some blood. Neither one of us expected it. Emi's as scared of her temper as I am of mine. I don't know yet why she is why she is … she just is. She nearly fell down the stairs running away. I thought it was from me but I think now that I've had time that she was running from herself. Talking to Danny I'm sure of it … she never said a word about what I'd done, it was all self-recriminations."

Mac wasn't sure what to say. Adam was right, he'd seen the results of the cycle of child abuse too often.

"I'm talking to people. People that know what they're talking about when it comes to the things going on in my head. But I'm not waiting until I'm fixed to fix things with Emi. Whatever comes after, we started out as friends and I don't want to lose that. She said she doesn't either. We're … better … together."

* * *

Petulantly Emi complained, "Adam, honestly. Isn't it bad enough I look like I've been mummified?! It's embarrassing. I can walk."

Immune by this time to Emi's harping on that particular subject since he had practiced ignoring her at the hospital too. He'd also ignored the squawking of the hospital staff when he carried her rather than putting her in a wheelchair. He'd seen the look in her eye when she'd spotted it. It wasn't the chair that upset her but the memories she carried of another one. It was no skin off his nose to save her from that one little thing. She weighed nothing, even with the casts on and the brace on her knee. She'd lost weight, too much weight. He'd already been to the store and gotten all of their favorite foods so at least he could start fixing that problem. But all he told Emi was, "Maybe, but I'm stilling carrying you so too bad."

"Men," Emi growled under her breath. But there wasn't much energy to it. In fact there wasn't much energy to Emi at all these days.

Three weeks in the hospital. Two casts – one on her hand, one on her foot – to be what finally slowed her down so she couldn't go barreling through life for a while. She'd also come so close to being diagnosed with pneumonia that they might as well have just gone ahead and stamped it in her file. Adam still grew nervous every time she started coughing and couldn't seem to stop.

"Adam I'm fi …."

"Emi. Don't."

This was Adam in charge. He'd been like that a lot lately. He'd had to be to get Emi to cooperate with the treatments that were prescribed. He'd finally had to resort to blackmail on the way home to keep her from thinking she was just going to get back to work like nothing had happened. "Emi … please … I need you to let me take care of you. I know it's uncomfortable but … I need it."

Outraged she yelped, "Hey, that's … that's my line."

Adam continued to carry Emi up the stairs and into her room. "Is it working?"

"Adam …"

"Emi I'm tired. I want to take a nap."

"Go ahead. That'll give me time to …"

"I won't be able to sleep. I've gotten used to you being right there."

She snorted in disgust. "Oh yeah … you in a chair and me in a hospital bed with all sorts of ungodly beeps and other noises going day and night. Some sleep you got."

"That's what I mean. We're home now. And we're going to get some sleep."

Emi sighed. "Fine. It's not like I've even got clothes on to change out of. I asked for my jeans … not a t-shirt and socks with nothing in between."

Adam just shrugged. "Guess I forgot."

"Suuuurrreee you did," she told him in mild disgust at being managed so neatly. Adam didn't let her feet touch the floor even after they were inside the bedroom. But what greeted her there had her asking, "Where did this bed come from? Where's my day bed?"

"Your daybed is downstairs. The frame for this one was in the attic. The guys and I found it the other day. The mattress is new and is one I bought from a guy Danny hooked me up with."

"Adam!"

"Remember Condition #2?"

"That never was meant to mean you buy a mattress for my bed!"

"Our bed."

Five seconds later Emi's mouth was still hanging open on whatever it was she forgot she was going to say.

"Our … our bed?" she squeaked.

"Yeah. Now scoot over," he said as he sat on the edge of the bed and started taking off his shoes. When he started taking off his belt Emi couldn't decide whether to watch or look away. Look away won darn it.

She felt the bed dip a bit, but not much. The mattress really was a good one, and comfy. Then a comforter was being pulled up over both of them. There were a lot of things right about the house that surrounded them but the heating system wasn't one of them. They'd need to take care of it before it turned cold. It was already cooler than it had been even a week ago though the weatherman was forecasting an Indian Summer.

Adam told her, "I put a pillow on your side so you could lay your arm on it. The doctor said you should keep it elevated to prevent swelling."

Emi was quiet before adding. "The doctor said I … I might … get full use of my hand back … with time."

"That's better than what they were saying when they first x-rayed it."

"My work … I don't know if …"

Adam knew she was still very insecure about possibly being unable to continue with the projects she'd always done in the past. "We'll figure it out Emi. It's ok. I'm here."

"I know," she told him quietly. "But it's so much to expect … too much to ask."

"No it's not, not between us."

"Uh …"

"We'll figure the ground rules out tomorrow."

"Ground rules?" Emi asked. "What … what ground rules?"

"Ground rules as in how we're going to get along in the same house and the same bed until we've both got our heads on straight enough that we can decide what we want to do about it. No sense in having two beds when we'd just wind up down on the sofa together rather than having to pick where we were going to crash for the night."

"Adam Ross! I am not just some easy girl …"

"Nope. That's why the ground rules. You're too susceptible to me."

Emi turned to look at him incredulously only to find his mouth twitching, trying to hold back a smile. He'd finally trimmed the 'stache and beard thank goodness. Emi loved Adam's bone structure. It made her itch to pick up a pencil and sketch tablet. She was pretty sure she loved the whole package too but she'd made so many mistakes in the past, too many. Adam deserved to know that he wasn't just her next mistake waiting to happen.

"So … ground rules."

"Yep."

"Do the ground rules include cookies?"

"God yes," he groaned as his stomach gave a rumbling agreement.

They both started laughing but soon their exhaustion pulled them into the first real sleep they'd had for days. Tomorrow Adam would need to go into work. But only for half a day. Kendall had volunteered to cover for him so he could take Emi to her first physical therapy appointment in the morning. Adam was grateful but all he could think was that a nice Kendall was a scary Kendall. He also needed to remember to make some plans with Danny. He, Lindsey, and the kids had a standing invitation to come over when there was a game on TV and this time it was the guys who were gonna cook. He'd discussed it with Emi at the hospital to give her something to look forward to. She'd said of course but was pretty sure that he and Danny in the kitchen at the same time had disaster written all over it.

Life was good. He could live with that. But as Emi snuggled closer Adam almost groaned before thinking, "We gotta get to those ground rules asap."

THE END

(at least for this episode)


End file.
